MIL ignored gift idea

Indeed.

The OP is not being greedy or entitled or ungrateful she's just understandably frustrated that she took the time to give a suggestion when asked for it and it was ignored.

We have family members who have done similar in the past and now I refuse to give them any ideas, which annoys them but my logic is they aren't going to use the suggestions anyway so there's no point giving them.

It's a gift. You made a suggestion. She declined.

It's important for kids to accept that they don't always get what they want from young age...

There’s some joyless fuckers on this thread.

Some odd responses here.

Of course MIL can buy whatever she wants, but why go to the bother of asking OP what DS wants if she is then going to blatantly ignore it and buy a more "worthy" present, of which she can't even be bothered to actually buy age appropriately.

It’s annoying. Ours teens are very choosy. They spend ages putting together wish lists of pretty modestly priced items. Forwarded to MIL. She responds she will only shop on Amazon. The girls then found the items on Amazon and put those on their lists.

I did say to mil if you would like to gift please either stay on list, give money or honestly don’t bother as otherwise it goes to waste. What does she do?! She opted for very expensive tokens in a shop they never buy from and won’t swap the vouchers for cash. So aggravating. Waste of her £200.

Im wondering what kind of main present costs the equivalent of a book?

She’s not going to be thrilled when all he can talk about is your DM’s present!

It’s just a kids book, children don’t need to receive everything they put on a birthday list, it’s good to learn that sometimes they’ll get just some of those things and that’s ok.

When I was a child I was taught to have good manners and say thank you for presents, not whinge about them.

@Changingplace The real lack of common sense is buying someone a present that they can't use for several years. Literally what is the point of gifting it now, rather than waiting until it's age appropriate?

Would you like it if someone bought you something for your birthday that you couldn't use for several years?

Because the OP can easily put a book on a shelf and come back to it when he’s bigger.

Some real lack of common sense here.

Bit of a non issue imo. People don’t always adhere to present suggestions and it’s not fair to be annoyed if they don’t. Anyone giving a gift has the right to use their own judgment about it.

If my son has specific things he really wants then (within reason) I get those myself so I have control over it and know he won’t be disappointed.

The book will come into its own one day. My lovely grandpa bought my son a set of Beatrix Potter books when he was a baby. Had no use for them then, but now that he’s 3 he absolutely adores them.

So instead of overloading him with plastic, she's buying him a book. How awful.

You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometime you'll find
You get what you need

Never ask other people to get the must have gifts unless you are 100% sure they would get it (fine to tell your mum if you know she would get it).

I wouldn’t even come up with any ideas next time for MIL, she’s just going to choose herself anyway.

We had this for a couple of birthdays/Christmas. We now give suggestions the child would like but not the top presents. Not surprisingly she moans that my family but the beater presents. Can't win !!

I suggest you give your MILs child the "mental load"

I have to laugh at all these perfectly normal things, which people have been doing since forever, now being described as "mental load" 😂😅

If you can’t unwrap and return any of the gifts and get him what he wants. Do that.

don’t put new things on your mental load “he hasn’t really got a list, I’m sure whatever you pick will be fine.”

A book above his reading level is surely still a book and one that can be read to him by one of his parents though. Books are always great presents. Even if they are old enough to read books (for their reading level) they should still be being read to as well.

I agree that if she asked for a suggestion the ones was really on the parent to check whether she was going to get that or not.

I am wondering why the need to expressly refer to your own mum and whether it's just yet another my MIL is so evil thread.

You're not unreasonable. I've had this same scenario happen where my son didn't get something because someone said they were giving it but then gave something else. Now, when that person asks for ideas, I vaguely mention what the kids like (like Paw Patrol or "dogs") or, more often, I pretend to think about it and then deliberately get distracted with a task or change the subject.

Fine to get something else but you need to be clear that’s what you’re doing and not mislead people. The issue here is not the gist but the fact that the MIL led OP to believe she was biting A and then bought B- it’s like she deliberately gone out of her way to ensure he didn’t get one of the two gifts he asked for.

A book 3 years ahead of his reading level? hardly a gift is it?
What next pair of shoes for his first job interview?

What's the point of gifts to "grow into" esp if its 3 years above the kids reading age?

That probably indicates that the story is to long, to advanced for the child to even have it as a bed time story.

Children can be easily put of books if they are too advanced and therefore boring.
Same as toys kids need toys and books that are age and stage appropriate

Annoying op but probably unintentional. At least you know now. Stick to vague suggestions like new books or craft stuff. And get the stuff he really wants yourself.

Could you put away a couple of the things he got from you for Xmas and get him it?

YANBU, we have relatives who do this all the time. They also buy a cheaper version of whatever we ask for, despite the one we requested easily being within the budget they've told us. They then get annoyed when DS doesn't play with it because it's the wrong size to work with his other toys in that range, it breaks within a few hours etc.

We've given up letting them buy anything that's important to DS. I usually refuse to give a list and just give very generic ideas. If they insist, they get a list of small, cheap things fits my son will like but isn't too fussed about.

For lots of kids esp if they only ask for 2 things, would be disappointed not to get the two things they'd asked for on the day.

Why disappoint a child on their birthday?

Admittedly if I was Op I'd either return the other things I'd bought or depending on what they are put them aside for Christmas and make sure he had the two toys he actually wanted.

And make note to self never give Granny one off the top ideas.