MIL ignored gift idea

Agree!

I usually end up buying gift vouchers off my DDs so they have the money to buy something they want.

i think in @TheaBrandt case I’d buy the vouchers and get books with them to gift back to mil.

@JudgeJ Excellent, some fresh air and exercise will be lovely.

Because you are utterly self centred and it’s all about you I’d suggest.

I hope that this grandma also lives by the no plastic tat rule in her own house.

What, exactly oh wise one, have I 'made up? Children do make crazy demands, I heard enough of them when I was teaching to know that that isn't 'made up'. As for something better to do, yes deary, the grass needs cutting and will get cut this evening when it's cooler, I did part of it this morning, about 8.30 before it got too hot, so don't fret about me love.

if they wanted to make their own choices they shouldn’t have asked what to get the child??

What's the point really?
I never buy vouchers its estimated a huge percentage of them are never used.

Although tween / young teen boys are so hard to buy for. I really miss the plastic but even more I miss things like DVDs and CDs. Everyone streams stuff.

Buy it yourself.

To the PP whose mother gives money that’s preferable at least - mil gave our teens v expensive tokens to a shop they have no interest in (book shop we have a house full of books and library membership and they are teens so reading less). They would have loved the cash value of the tokens. Just such a waste of their money.

When I was a child I was taught to have good manners and say thank you for presents, not whinge about them.

This is exactly how I was brought up too. Keep my selfish ungrateful mouth shut when my brothers got everything they wanted and what I wanted while I was forced to be great full for receiving dolls (which creep me the fuck out) and other “girly” toys and dresses.

I will never and have never done that to my children. Birthdays and Christmas’s are about them getting things they want, it dose not make them spoiled or ungrateful, it means that twice a year they get to pick things they really want that we have said no to throughout the year and know they will get them.

Fine but then don't ask what the kid wants

@LifeExperience
Do your DGC actually appreciate clothes?
My boys don't really unless it's a footy strip for the youngest.

I've lost count of the number of jumpers etc that have lay in drawers until outgrown then charity shopped.
I'm more with it now - I return them with or without a receipt.

At Christmas buy them something that will make them smile 😃
The plastic years are actually very short (other than Lego). Remember the song 🎵 In a Barbie world, life in plastic is fantastic.....

Why ask what they would like if you are going to get something else that you feel is 'superior'

Plastic does not equal tat. There are many plastic toys that are loved and played with for years and years and often end up staying in such good condition they can be passed on to- think LEGO/Duplo.

Often it's the wooden toys, which are not deemed tat, that wear out and can't be passed on as many times

Oh @LifeExperience - why wouldn’t you want to get a gift your grand child would like? They will still get the same amount of plastic (and if it’s tat is in the eye of the beholder - if it will be played with and cherished, why does the material it’s made of matter?) , but they will not enjoy and be happy with grandma’s gifts. Only other peoples.

giving a gift you know the person receiving won’t enjoy or want, but you feel it would be better for them to have, seems pretty arrogant.

I really hate the fact people associate plastic with tat. What if your grandchild wanted Lego or toy animals for imaginary role play? Not all plastic toys are cheap throw away crap that last two minutes.

I'm a granny and I refuse to buy plastic tat. Keep the book and he can read it when he's ready, and next time offer some non-plastic tat suggestions. My dd respects my preferences and offers useful suggestions. I also buy clothes, coats, trainers, PJs, freeing her up to buy the current plastic tat he wants.

@KreedKafer 🤣🤣 and Xmas also. People use Xmas as a teaching tool to get few gifts.

If you've asked someone what shall I get then that's kind of like an 'order'..your words not mine. Asking someone for a suggestion to me would be asking for something for yourself ..

YANBU

We tell family what would be good because we only see them a few times a year and gifts our boys have received in the past have been things that were way too young for them or they outgrew.

The kids are still surprised regardless and I rather not have the extra clutter and have to also get rid of gifts. I’m currently decluttering now and it is a pita.

It is vouchers now to soft plays and other kid events which they enjoy unless they have asked for something very specific.

i would further go on to add from my comment that if you so desperately need your DC to have certain things, then perhaps buy them yourself so you know they have them and let GP make their won choices

Save your gift for xmas and buy it for him yourself.

This. We find the same.

It’s going to be a shame for MIL when DS politely thanks her for the book, looks a bit confused and then puts it on the side to play with the toy he asked for.

And then she'll get annoyed, she'll criticize the child, and she'll blame everyone else for the other grandma being the favourite one etc etc etc

YANBU

Oh you’re one of those people who go and look up the value of presents and complain if someone’s not spent enough? Not a great lesson to teach kids to be so materialistic.

It’s not a horrible thing to say at all, it’s better that kids learn not to place so much emphasis on presents and thinking they’ll always get everything they put on a list.

It’s actually good for kids to learn that sometimes that’s life, and not to be so demanding and ungrateful.

I have this "I'm really practical so i give money) no you are thoughtless, selfish and lazy - like the time you asked your grandchild if she wanted a very fancy Easter egg from Marks and then not only didn't get that egg, didn't get her any egg at all and just said - I didn't get you an egg. Who does that to a child.