Eating is out of control

I have PTSD too. Please be kind to yourself. You cant fix everything at once. Work on your mind and once you are feeling stronger it will be much easier to eat more healthily. Trying to lose weight whilst also overcoming PTSD is the equivalent of trying to cross the Antarctic whist carrying a rucksack full of rocks. Basically it's impossible. You are already doing something really hard. Don't make it harder.

Don't buy junk food, if you haven't got it in you can't eat it.
Drink water instead when you feel like this.

I found your post interesting, as I am an alcoholic, and react to alcohol in a very similar way as you do to food. I could leave it alone completely for long periods of time, but one drink would set off a binge. That makes me wonder if a group like Overeaters Anonymous could be helpful at all?

I did also have issues with binge eating, but to a far lesser extent. What worked for me was breaking the connection between the urge to binge, and the "reward" (whatever it was the food was doing to my brain). I found that allowing myself to binge on foods that didn't "work", lessened that connection over time. For me that was porridge and ryvita, although this was some years ago, and there is more known about glycemic index now, so there are probably better options. I also had a set of rules that I followed - no sugar on an empty stomach was the most important one. Sugar on an empty stomach would always result in a binge. I also stopped snacking, as this could easily spiral out of control. If I was hungry, I would have a meal, regardless of the time of day. I found that eating something high in fat was a very effective way to curb sugar cravings (bacon and eggs became a bit of a go to at first, and then I started adding things like sweet potato and kale). Oh, and I always had to wash up and put everything away before making anything else.

I would forget about losing weight for now, and focus on identifying eating triggers, and on keeping eating restricted to meals only. The fact that the weightloss shakes work for you suggests that (similar to me!) hard and fast rules might work for you, and that it's when eating becomes unstructured that it can get out of control. And be gentle with yourself! This isn't a failure in you, and it's absolutely not about will power. Like I say, I am a sober alcoholic, ex-smoker, and ex-binge eater. I have no more will power now than I did when I was doing all of those things. But I do live free from them.

The starting dose for mounjaro isn't meant to do anything, some people have appetite suppression but it's really just preparing your body for the higher doses.

Most people see significant weight loss on the higher doses.

I’m so sorry OP, you have some good advice on this thread, please don’t be ashamed to reach for support.

Do you only snack in the evening? Can you try to change your routine to make it harder? Brush your teeth earlier, go for a walk, go to bed much earlier. If you drink alcohol in the evening it’s a good idea to stop - it lowers your control so it’s much easier to reach for a snack after we had a glass of wine. It’s also very calorific.
If you snack on junk food, do you need to have it in the house? It’s not a necessity, if you don’t have bags of crisps or chocolate at home it will be harder to reach for it. Recovering addicts can’t have emergency stashes. Try snacking on vegetables instead, I bet it will be very hard for you to binge on raw carrots or sauerkraut.

It’s great to get to the underlying issues, but it’s also ultimately down to taking this minute by minute, small changes and single choices. Replacing one habit with another step by step. Making changes in your environment so it’s harder to reach for junk food.

I've just read Ultra Processed People by Dr Chris Van Tulleken - and it has blown my mind.

The impact on us physically and mentally of consuming ultra processed food is terrifying. It affects endocrine systems, microbiome, mental health, causes obesity, is linked to increased cancer risk - and yet the additives are in SO many products, including "healthy" products.

They are addictive.

The key takeaway was the companies who make ultra processed food are not interested in your health, they are interested purely in profit.

It literally says, "It's not you, it's the food."

My entire way of thinking about food has changed. And I'm losing weight.

I'd highly recommend reading it.

I have CPTSD too OP and the only thing that worked for me was keto with absolutely nothing sweet otherwise it would trigger overeating.

I can have 90% dark chocolate occasionally but can’t keep it in the house otherwise I’d eat it all.

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through.

Can you stop having any junk food in the house so that you are not tempted?

How long did you try the injections for? It can take a while to build up.

Are you getting enough sleep? This sounds really extreme, I don’t think this is a diet issue either, if you are hurting yourself a diet is not going to help. If you aren’t well in other ways then trying to diet with shakes etc will just be more stress and strain on you.

Can you just stop trying to diet for a bit? Drop the shakes etc and just eat what you want for a while.

I’m so sorry OP this sounds really hard.

Same here. BMI about 38. Slowly killing myself. Poor mental health due to bad childhood. Medicated for depression/anxiety but I think I use food as a comfort/friend.
I have bouts where I manage to eat better but then I relapse as it gets too difficult. Depression seems to get worse without my friends 'food'
I feel better whilst eating junk food like I get a high from it that makes me forget for a while or feel better or take the pressure off or something.

No answers just sympathy and to let you know you are not alone.

I also hate myself, can't look in the mirror. I'm so ashamed of what I have done to my body. I barely leave the house (full time carer to autistic son), but I prefer to be in my house because people I know won't see me. It's very depressing.

I'm the same, once I start eating, I can't stop and never feel full. I can go hours of not eating after waking but as soon as I eat something, it's like opening the flood gates and I just keep eating.
I want to try weight loss injections but I'm scared of side effects (I have emetophobia) and also scared that it won't work. We can't afford it anyway.
I am a type 2 diabetic and have high cholesterol, at least 4 stone over weight but none of this stops me eating.
It's like I don't care about what happens to me, I just want to eat to, I guess, make me feel a little bit happy, for a little while.
Sorry I have no advice, but I'm right there with you (except the vomit bit!)

So sorry you are going through this OP. Sometimes it is really difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Are you getting any benefit at all from your therapy? It might not work for you. Have you approached your GP? They could refer you for nutrition/ exercise help. Be kind to yourself OP, change doesn't happen overnight. But you will get there.

Lack of sleep and lack of time to exercise are a killer. You're tired and you need that dopamine hit or endorphin rush from somewhere.

I'm trying to replace reaching for a biscuit with gardening. My lawn and flower beds are full of weeds so every time I feel low energy, I go and dig out a few.

This. You need support to overcome this OP. You have an eating disorder, you’re not doing this out of greed. I hope you have support from family and friends too.

Sounds like you’re like me. Appetite suppressants like Mourjano etc - I don’t see how they’d work, as it’s not an appetite thing. I’m not hungry and I don’t want to eat.

For me it’s a combination of:

• need a bloody break but not practical to go and have a nap etc with young kids to look after, so eat in an effort to get energy
• stress relief/boredom relief
• My subconscious reaches for the food. I consciously know and tell myself ‘don’t eat that, you’re not hungry’, but my subconscious is so powerful that it overrides my consciousness and before I know it I’ve eaten. Still figuring out what this comes from. It’s been a problem since I was a child and it’s a comfort thing I think, and old habits die hard
• identity - I’ve always been ‘the fat one’ so who am I if I’m not that anymore?

Exercise takes time out of your day and it would be a lot more simple to just eat less but instead I eat loads and also never find the time to exercise. Ugh!

I’m trying Slimpod at the mo as it really makes sense to me, no results yet but I’m giving it a year. As I said, these behaviours have been ingrained in me since childhood so will take a long time to change.

You need to find out what's underneath this OP. Because this isn't just over eating that the right diet will cure, its a compulsion. For some reason you are driven to hurt yourself with food, maybe because there something in you that needs the short term comfort, maybe as a way of hiding from feelings, maybe to punish yourself. Until you find out the why, it's going to be difficult to come up with the best how (to stop). I think you need to be open with your health care provider's about the vomiting and the eating till you hurt as it seems they are only responding to the physical increased appetite element and ignoring the mental and emotional side.

I’m going to be honest I had weight loss surgery two years ago and it was the best thing I ever did. I was exactly like you describe; I thought about food at at every waking hour and spent 40 years yo yo ing up and down 10 stone in weight. I’m now at a healthy BMI and the revelation that it is possible to not “want” food has honestly staggered me. I can “forget” its meal time. It’s changed my entire life. Whatever you choose I promise there is a way out of what you describe lovely.

Speak to BEAT https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/

You need help focused on recovering from your eating disorder not on diets.

You can do it x

It’s awful to feel this way. I had bulimia after I finished Uni as I just didn’t know what path to take and despite a loving boyfriend and family it is a very isolating and shameful feeling.
I wonder if you’re eating to escape thinking about things. I know that’s what I did. Can you try some distraction techniques? Arrange to meet a friend for a walk or a drink or join a club just after dinner so you know you can’t just carry on eating.
i know you have kids to care for but are you able to get out the house in the day and walk. Sometimes just getting away from four walls and out in nature can help - and you can’t eat loads whilst walking! Thinking of you as it a is a shit feeling.
Another idea is to talk to someone about it. Let someone in - family, partner, friend and when the urge to eat comes on confide in them. Best of luck. You can change this. It might take a while, but you can.

Not really much advice here I’m afraid but similar issues with PCOS. 3 stone in 4 years. I’ve jokingly said I should try aversion therapy and slap myself every time I have a biscuit so I associate it with pain! But on a serious note, I’ve started tracking calories again, focusing on increasing protein intake and joined a gym. It’s disheartening knowing that I’ve done all this before and it had no effect but I’m really hoping my body does someeeething this time. Also sticking at a more reasonable calorie limit per day (1400-1500), rather than the 1200 people recommend when losing weight because it’s never been sustainable. Sorry if this is all advice you know, I imagine you’ve also tried everything under the sun.

just imagine all the food around you is covered on dog vomit. It takes my appetite away totally. It might help