To be annoyed at friend saying my 20mo sleeps too much ?

Her sons sleep seems more the norm to me, usually by that age a larger window is needed than 3.5 hours and I’ve personally never known a child nap that long. But who cares?

Sleep is a minefield. It’s also developmental.

For a 20 month old, wake windows of 4-6 hours are normal, with daytime naps no longer than 3 hours.

Her baby waking in the night does not mean she is doing anything wrong or that her schedule is wrong.

Some babies are just shit sleepers, and there really is nothing you can do about it after addressing good sleep hygiene.

If there are no developmental concerns, I would keep going as you are, but by the time he is 24 months he should be aiming for 5.5 hours of awake time before his nap, so you do want to be building up to that.

Please go to the GP. It’s probably nothing and you’re just very lucky to have a good sleeper, but a friend’s experience has taught me excessive sleep in a child can be something, best to get checked.

Exactly. It is best not to compare. Kids are all different. Her child sleeps ten hours overnight and not many do that at 20 months! Yours has naps in the daytime. So what? In a few months they will both be different.

Your children are not in competition with each other.

You could mention it to your doctor but one possibility is you just have a very chilled out kid who will hang around in his crib and play with his toes for an hour or so, so what appears to you to be a 2 hour nap is really a one hour nap plus one hour of him watching the curtains blow in the breeze.

Yes, there is proof that breastfeeding provides protection from common infections that cause things like colds and ear infections.

My two pretty much both gave up daytime naps at about two years old (which was a plus and a negative in various ways) 4 hours during the day............ is A LOT for a child of any age. Especially given how much he is also sleeping overnight.

Why would her son not have a cold because she breastfeeds? Is there proof of that?

Yes, there is.

This!! You started it!

At 20 months my DS2 (now 16) slept for 11 hours at night with no naps at all. DS1 slept for a little more . Similar to your friend’s baby.

Neither of mine slept as much as yours does at that age.

She got quite defensive when I said is that even enough sleep

You started this by questioning her child’s sleep patterns. You are now being defensive in exactly the same way that she was.

There is, but that doesn't matter. Is the GP looking for glue ear, or other ENT issues? Keeping up with very hearing tests would be important in your circumstances. Stop comparing. Time will tell if anything is going on with your little one. More sleep isn't better, but I believe in needs led parenting. Do you go to stay and play etc? Is he in Nursery? If you aren't noticing a difference in him, compared with a range of other toddlers, change the subject. My eldest GC didn't really speak until she was four, some children don't.

Can you really not see that you invited her critique by your initial comment?!
In layman's terms, you 'started it'.
🤦🏼‍♀️

Your friends child is far more normal. My 18 month old can wake up at 7 and stay up without a nap until bedtime, kids can cope without sleep. On the other hand I’d be concerned if my child slept as much as yours, mine only ever sleep like that when they’re sick

Seriously, does it matter.
I couldn't summon the energy to be worked up over this, let one write a post about it.
You have different opinions, end of story.

Yes, it is proven that breastfeeding boosts the immune system, and babies who were breastfed are healthier generally in life and as they grow older.

Breastfeeding does not stop them getting sick, but it does make any illness likely to be less severe and not last as long.

Your DS is sleeping more than the recommended amount for babies his age. He is sleeping the same amount, and has the same wake windows, as a baby over half a year younger than him.

Your friend’s son is the typical sleep schedule for a 20 month old and a baby several months younger.

A 20 month old napping for 3 and a half to 4 hours in the day and still going to sleep for 7 is something I genuinely have never ever heard of. I don't think you should me making comments on anyone else's child if your so very offended are her making a comment about yours.

You sound pretty unreasonable in this situation. However, I can see how it would make you defensive if you have concerns about your child's development.

Nailed it.

I think your friends little one has average sleep for a 20 month old. My daughter dropped naps completely at 18 months so she was only getting about 11-12 hrs sleep in 24hrs at 20 months. I can see why your friend said something as a 3hr nap is a lot at that age.

So you got offended by a critical comment about sleep when you dished out the criticism about sleep in the first place? All babies are different, yours isn’t better because it sleeps a lot.

@Lauren0401 girl you got issues. You are ignoring comments that are concerned but then in the next breath telling us he seems to have lots of health issues and somewhat late in reaching milestones?

you expect your FRIEND not to express excitement in her child walking or saying lots of words out of fear it might upset you? That’s mad. And mentioning her breastfeeding even if she hasn’t? There is a good chance her son has had lots of protection from breastfeeding , it seems you have lots of resentment? I feel sorry for your friend she deserves better

have you mentioned your sons sleeping to the gp during your frequent visits?