Adult children having partners overnight

If she's not got form for bringing home randoms and this is the first guy, I'd be more relaxed about it. Does she generally have good judgement?

Like I said, it was only one of mine that made me have to become less relaxed. You can change things if it isn't working out, but it's harder to go back.

This.

DD is same age and i don't want a carosel of strangers in my home.

If shes not the one night stand/parade of lads type, she's not going to suddenly turn into one now.

Summer fling with the convenience of staying at yours... or she spends much MUCH more of her time elsewhere with him and skint...

She's going to spend time with him whatever... where would you rather that be? Won't be long before she never spends long periods at your home again.

I would definitely allow this. I'm surprised by so many who wouldn't. She's an adult. And she's your daughter. It'll make her life so difficult if you say no. Where will she go instead? You never know he might end up being a LTR or who she settles down with.

Unless I had a bad feeling about him in which case a definite no.

He lives a fair drive away so I think she thinks it would be easier for him to stay rather than drive an hour home after they go out. She thinks not allowing him to stay will spoil her lovely summer fling.

After reading this part I'd say YAB a bit U.

It would be easier for him to stay rather than drive an hour home. If they're going out, will they be drinking?
If he got a hotel for the night would you be bothered about her going to stay with him then?

When you add that to the fact that she hasn't brought a man to your house since the break up (meaning this isn't a pattern, and unlikely to be a ONS) I'd say let him stay.

Gives you a chance to get to know him, see what he's like. Even if it's a summer fling at the minute, that could all change once they spend a bit more time together.

I would not allow a man I didn’t know very very well to stay overnight in my home. I don’t care who he’s banging.

Even if she wants a new guy staying over every week, including the guys she's just met on the dating app? Aren't you worried about your and her personal safety?

Sorry I should have RTFT.
It seems you let you DDs have boyfriends over but aren't keen on this short relationship.
I agree with: your house your rules.

Why not do like my MIL did? Say he can stay over in the guest room then turn a blind eye to the creaking floor boards in the middle of the night?

Well I was banned from having any friends, let alone boyfriends, stay over. Ever!
My father was very strict.
It didn't make me want to have sex any less. It just made me dislike my parents and withdraw from them.

If your daughter wants to have sex and casual relationships, she will do it anyway. Personally I'd rather she was in a safe place like her home.
I'll be allowing it for my DD when she is older.

Definite your house your rules. But I allow the boyfriend of my much younger daughter stay. They’d been dating a long time.
My feeling was if he’s allowed to stay they’d be more likely to be here and I’d know she’s safe! I get what you mean about the breakfast situation but in reality, you’d likely be on lunch by the time they get up.

This exactly. I just didn't want men I didn't know (or women, but especially men) in my house at night. I wouldn't do it myself for the same reason, so my DD can't either.

Your houze, your rulz.

It's not about slut shaming, it's not about judging her relationship choices, it's about you not wanting virtual strangers staying overnight in your house. It's about the security of your home and belongings, it's about your personal safety (and hers), it's about your sense of privacy in your own home.

I am pretty relaxed about who my kids bring to stay as I would rather know who they are with and where they are, and not feeling they need to rush to move out to be an adult.

They can stay at his or get a hotel if they want to bang. Your house your rules! Don’t explain- there’s really no need. « Sorry not comfortable with that. » No explanation gives no room for argument.

I told them six months relationship and I had to have met them and feel comfortable with it. I'd have been flexible about it, but didn't tell them that. It was only one child that made it necessary to lay down the law. It wasn't even about sex, because many were just friends.

The bottom line, I don't want strange men in my house overnight. My house, my rules.

I'll spare you the lead up but it was a journey for us to work it out. I had no problem with committed partners staying over (I knew them then as well enough to feel comfortable with them) but, if you try the 'committed partners only' thing, you'll find them declaring themselves committed after a week!

In the end, I don't mind my daughter making her own decisions but it is my house and home (which I pay for), and I'm not comfortable having men staying over in my house overnight, while I'm sleeping, that I don't know. I had to get a bit draconian about definitions of committed relationship.

Even I would draw the line at having stay the night after only 6 weeks into a relationship especially as she keeps banging on about banging him

Your house your rules !!!!