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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be a little hurt at boyfriends suggestion of exercise?

64 replies

GladAmberEagle · 29/07/2024 20:21

Been with my boyfriend just shy of a year now. He’s great, very funny etc. he’s never mentioned anything about my weight before - I’m a size 14, I suppose I carry it well (as in I don’t look as heavy as I am) but I could definitely lose a stone or 2.

We were chatting on the phone early and I mentioned a cycle to work scheme my work has on. He said something along the lines of ‘well you should consider it, you’d tone up’ I was taken a back by this because as I’d mention, he’s never made a comment about my weight before. I asked him what he was implying in a joking way and he said ‘well I’m just saying, exercise is good’.

AIBU to be a little upset over this? I mean, I won’t lose sleep over it, but still. Or am I being too sensitive?

OP posts:
alwaysmovingforwards · 29/07/2024 20:30

ItsAlrightDarling · 29/07/2024 20:27

Toned bodies are generally healthier. Muscle tone is hugely important as we age, to maintain functional fitness.
Exercise is good. I don’t think I’d be upset by this.

Show quote history

Toned bodies are generally more attractive as well.
But I don’t think you can say this nowadays in case someone overweight gets offended.

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/07/2024 20:29

ItsAlrightDarling · 29/07/2024 20:28

Apologies I quoted the wrong poster, I meant to quote @MrsTerryPratchett

Yes, toned bodies are healthier. But I think we all know he probably didn't mean it in a muscle-mass way. I mean really.

Aquamarine1029 · 29/07/2024 20:29

He's not wrong. Exercise and being in good shape are both very important, and not just for how your body looks.

MapleTreeValley · 29/07/2024 20:29

I think you're being a little bit over sensitive OP.

Original poster
GladAmberEagle · 29/07/2024 20:28

Thanks all. I suppose I am just a bit sensitive to it as I do actually go to the gym which he knows. He is right - I could tone up a bit - but still slightly hurts nevertheless!

OP posts:
ItsAlrightDarling · 29/07/2024 20:28

Apologies I quoted the wrong poster, I meant to quote @MrsTerryPratchett

keylimedog · 29/07/2024 20:28

I mean if you can tell you need to drop a stone or two, have you ever mentioned it?

He can probably also see you could drop a bit of weight, but it clearly doesn't matter to him as he's with you as you are! If you've mentioned wanting to drop the weight I could understand why he's mentioned it. Realistically exercise is good!

ItsAlrightDarling · 29/07/2024 20:27

TheLilacTurtle · 29/07/2024 20:25

It’s the tone up comment that would make me feel hurt too

Toned bodies are generally healthier. Muscle tone is hugely important as we age, to maintain functional fitness.
Exercise is good. I don’t think I’d be upset by this.

Redrocky · 29/07/2024 20:27

Hmm, I don't think there's any harm in anyone suggesting exercise, we all need to do it and if you care about someone, you want them to be fit and healthy, but I'm not sure about highlighting toning up as a reason. Unless maybe you've said that's something you'd like?

Justmuddlingalong · 29/07/2024 20:26

I wouldn't take his comment as a dig at your weight.
By your own admission, you could lose a stone or two, so I think that's why you might be feeling a bit sensitive about it.

Grapesichord · 29/07/2024 20:26

Cycling is wonderful exercise and really good for the environment. It is a compliment to you that your boyfriend suggested it.

TheLilacTurtle · 29/07/2024 20:25

It’s the tone up comment that would make me feel hurt too

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/07/2024 20:23

It's interesting because the 'tone up' implies looks, not health. I think my DH would have encouraged it, but from a health point of view. Which is different.

I think I'd also be a little hurt.

Cityandmakeup · 29/07/2024 20:22

I’m sorry he said this