AIBU to be a little hurt at boyfriends suggestion of exercise?

You are overthinking - he didn’t say you were fat - why are taking it to mean that? You have admitted you want to lose some weight - he’s put it sensitively and yet he’s the bad guy. Would you rather him lie?

It's a tricky one - my fella and I could both definitely do with losing a bit, and we both discuss this with each other pretty openly (though he also recently reassured me it wouldn't make any difference to him attraction wise, and I also feel the same).

We have been together longer tho, and been through all sorts together, and I think weight is one of those issues it just does become easier to discuss the better you know someone......

Does this bloke compliment you, tell you you are pretty, make you feel like he fancies you? If so, then try not to fixate on the weight thing. If not, then that is something to think about .....

Mm.. he knows you go to the gym, he knows you would like to drop some weight.

I don't think he's said anything really awful - it was relevant to the conversation and it is true, adding some different exercise into your routine would mean you'd tone up a bit.

Its not like, out of the blue, he said 'you should cycle to work, shift some lard fatty' is it?!

Well, excercise is good 😐 i just can't be bothered. 😃
I wouldn't be too offended by dp comments!!

A partner isn't allowed to express concern for their loved one's health?

It was a pretty clumsy comment to make and it would have hurt my feelings, too, however if you are a couple of stone overweight, it would improve your health to cycle to work?

Completely agree with that, I discuss openly my wish to "tone up" or lose weight with my DH. In the same way, if he asked me whether he has gained weight, I would answer truthfully.
We're never critical of each other, on the contrary, but surely it is something you can share as a couple?

Nobody’s partner is entitled to advise, unsolicited, on their weight.

Without fully knowing him, on the face of it, I don’t think this comment is a big deal or aimed at your body/size. Cycling would tone anyone up, and cycling as a daily exercise is good for anyone’s health. If any of my friends or my DH told me that they were considering cycling to work, I would also think of the benefits of toning and exercise, irrespective of what size they were.

I can't see the issue with that. It's a fact, and wouldn't you want to be more healthy?

Why wouldn't you say something to him? I genuinely don't understand that. Your partner's physical condition is very much your business, and your physical condition is his concern, too. If you are in this relationship for the long haul, you want to try to stay as healthy as you can for each other.

Weight gain can lead to countless health issues and it can very much impact someone's level of attraction for you. That doesn't mean they don't still love you, but sexually, it can cause a lot of issues. If you can't openly discuss weight issues with your partner, there's probably a lot of other communication issues, as well.

Perhaps you've been putting on weight and this was his way of broaching the subject. It's a tricky subject for a lot of people but one that needs to be addressed.

Hea not said you need to lose weight. That is something you've said. He said it could be a good idea. He expanded to say you could tone up. It's another form of exercise when he knows you already go the gym.

Could it be something you do together?

I think you are overthinking it and being sensitive.

I think it depends on whether you talk about needing to tone up or shape up etc Do you? If you talk about needing to lose a bit of weight or wanting to and going to the gym to improve your body then I think it's reasonable for him to say "yeah great - good idea and it'll help you tone up" ie it'll help you achieve your own goals.
If, on the other hand you don't talk about needing to tone up etc then it's not reasonable for him to say it at all.

I'm guessing it was just a misplaced comment from him if he doesn't have form. In his mind, exercise is healthy and makes you toned - more of a train of thought comment then an assessment of you. Think of him as being sweet and a little clumsy with his wording

I'd be a bit upset too.

It's up to you to mention your looks/appearance.

He could have said 'you should do, you might enjoy it", or, "you should do, you'll get fitter".

Implying you need to "tone up" is not what a boyfriend should say, true or not.

Are you going to the gym to improve your fitness, tone up or both?

you yourself have said you could do to lose a stone or 2, and you were the one who was looking at the cycle to work scheme.

if he had said yes cos you need to lose weight i'd be upset, but he is supporting you, he never said you were overweight he just said it would help to tone up!

i think he comment came from love and care and you are looking too far into it

Yikes, I would be very upset by that. A partner saying exercise is good is fine imo - it is good for us, not because of size or weight but because it helps our brains, immune systems, body confidence etc - but the comment about toning up is really unacceptable imo. My partner would be on notice that we might break up if that was said to me.

I wouldn’t take it as a positive comment either. I gained a bit of weight last few years and need to lose it. My DH often says : Have you been at home all day today? It’s not good, let’s go for a walk. He might even say: You need to do some exercises. Meaning from health point of view, but not that I’m not looking good ( toned) enough.

You brought the subject up, op. I think he was just encouraging you. Don't read too much into it.

Women are always telling boyfriends and partners if they need to lose weight, youea hasn't mentioned it before.

You admit you would benefit from losing weight. What do you want: for him not to notice, or for him to pretend not to notice? The fact that you're offended says it's one or the other.