Why are people dropping me like a hot potato? Is there something inherently wrong with me :(

I was at an event last night and a lady I hadn’t seen for ages came over to say hello. I no sooner got two words out of my mouth and she said “oh there’s some one over there I really do want to talk to” and walked over to them leaving me standing with my mouth open!

It just sums up exactly how I feel I’ve been being treated over the last few years. Almost invisible. And must definitely bottom of the rung

It’s been playing on my mind a bit today so I’m so sorry if this is how you’re feeling too. It’s shit isn’t it

‘I see people out enjoying themselves, and the invitations frequently seem to miss me.’

And I can relate to this, too. They have busy lives but then they pop up on Facebook with other friends, doing fun things.

I think there are several possible situations here. From my friendship group:

Some people are broke. With the cost of living, they can’t afford one hour of parking and a coffee out, let alone dinner or a night out. If you have them over for a bbq, they can’t afford to bring a bottle.

Some people are tired. Key workers have found work relentless since covid and are just about managing to do the essentials outside of work - feed themselves and kids, walk the dog, etc etc. Some have long covid. If you’re of a certain age, the impact of sleepless nights from young children, or menopause, are taking their toll. It all saps energy.

Some people are introverted and find socialising more of a struggle these days, even though they like you and enjoy your company
1:1.

It’s hard. I guess we have to try not to take things personally.

I'm the organiser among my friends. If I don't plan something, things don't happen, but then I do genuinely like hosting so I don't mind it so much. But I completely get it at the same time- a wee text once in a while is nice, or an invitation to go and do something.

Yes that can sting a bit. It’s worse now there’s social media. Back in the day you didn’t necessarily know what other people were doing now you see evidence of it everywhere, left wondering why you’ve been left out of WhatsApp groups ect.

Thing is you say if you didn’t organise things then you’d be left out but o think that’s true of everyone. Irrespective of whether they invite you or not your friends/family are almost certainly organising things.
I don’t believe anyone who has a full social calander only ever goes to social events their invited too iyswim

Here’s the thing, I know you very much feel this way but it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true. I don’t mean you’re lying, I mean that the people in your life are unlikely to all be thinking negatively of you and are trying to cut you off.

It more likely that they are being a bit thoughtless but are very busy. Show them that your thinking of them, so that they will show more care in thinking about you and include you

I feel like this too OP. My friends call me the social secretary because I organise everything. If I don't do it I don't see anyone...

I understand how you feel, I've been there myself. But I agree with PPs that I genuinely think people are just so busy these days especially if they've got children

I feel exactly the same. Have given up on instigating plans with friends as they just cancel or don't message back to confirm. I do have several colleagues who are experiencing the same thing with their friends.

I honestly think people are just going through the motions now, literally everyone seems like their head is full and they’re worn out and as a result I don’t think people think enough about everyone else. I’ve reconnected with a few friends recently and we were saying how sad it is that we don’t talk or see each other anymore

Is this something that’s only started to happen recently? If so it may be that they are genuinely busy and don’t have as much time. People I saw every other day when I was younger I see quite infrequently since they started having kids etc.

Can be multiple things - sometimes people just don't have much time to give - if they respond well when you suggest something then they probably appreciate you making the effort and in years to come they will remember that

Sometimes it just happens that everyone gets busy at the same time ( just like random traffic jams ) and it just seems like no ine cares when it's just bad timing

Anyone else you might as well drop to give you time to spend with better people