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Original poster

Boys are innovators. Girls are compliant. Views?

119 replies

WhoTheFriggIsAlice · 29/07/2024 10:20

I have 2 sons (primary school aged) who are being particularly crazy this summer holidays.

One of my son's was trying to dismantle something in the kitchen.

H said something along the lines of "that's the thing about boys, annoying yes but that's why men are inventors - pushing boundaries"

I said "surely it's just society that means women have had fewer opportunities to be inventors and innovators"

H laughed and said "absolutely not - you see it from such a young age. girls are smarter in a way but naturally compliant, boys don't do as well academically - but they are innovators, disrupters"

I think this is one of many insanely sexist things my husband has come out with in the last few years.

But I wonder what others think? Are his views mainstream./

OP posts:
Original poster
WhoTheFriggIsAlice · 29/07/2024 10:35

Oh I definitely made the point about society. He rolled his eyes and was quite clear he thinks yes it is societal to a point but there is something else going on there. He started talking about bell curves and all sorts, arguing that men's brilliance and obsessions are reasons they have invented so much, not society. He rolled his eyes at me and said "I can see I've caused offence again..."

I think he's talking bollocks but he makes me feel like his views on this stuff is generally pretty accepted by people and I'm the outlier!

OP posts:
SilenceInside · 29/07/2024 10:35

Yeah, he's ignoring a shit tonne of socialisation there. Girls are so often rewarded/praised for being compliant, and boys are rewarded/encouraged for being active and even disruptive.

Itsrainingten · 29/07/2024 10:34

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 29/07/2024 10:31

Its about the way they are spoken to in the womb if its known whether its a boy or girl. We are all brought up with an expectation of how girls and boys behave and it takes an incredible strength of will power to over ride that.

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Well I have a single girl and twin boys. All of whom I found out as soon as I could. I can guarantee neither I nor anyone else spoke to them in any way differently. I absolutely don't believe it's a thing. I see it with babies, sure. But not before birth!

RoseyLentil · 29/07/2024 10:34

Your husband is a sexist arse.
I work in a sector many see as "male". I've lead, invented and innovated my whole career. Many of my disruptions are now mainstream and your husband probably interacts with at least one of them a week 🤣

AtrociousCircumstance · 29/07/2024 10:32

The only thing worth focusing on is that your husband is a sexist prick.

heavenisaplaceonearth · 29/07/2024 10:31

Not in my house, but your husband wouldn’t have attracted me at all. Women aren’t necessarily more compliant, they are just vulnerable to male aggression so have learnt there are different (innovative?) routes to their preferred outcome. I mean maybe he’s a sledgehammer kinda guy and wouldn’t register a scalpel.

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 29/07/2024 10:31

Itsrainingten · 29/07/2024 10:28

In the womb? How? That's nonsense

Show quote history

Its about the way they are spoken to in the womb if its known whether its a boy or girl. We are all brought up with an expectation of how girls and boys behave and it takes an incredible strength of will power to over ride that.

Wellieswithsocks · 29/07/2024 10:30

Utter bilge. Your DH sounds annoying, OP

Itsrainingten · 29/07/2024 10:29

ElliLovesDogs · 29/07/2024 10:28

Sadly i think hes right just because of society. Females are still even today expected to comply and be subservient. We might feel like thats not the case but childcare/part time working/lower wages/caring all tend to land on the females shoulders. Makes me mad

A lot of the childcare / part time working etc burdon falling on women is the fault of year long maternity leave IMO. If PARENTAL leave was shared and enforced a lot of society would be more equal

LordGribeau · 29/07/2024 10:28

😂😂😂😂😂
My girls are anything but compliant. One is incredibly inventively destructive

Itsrainingten · 29/07/2024 10:28

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 29/07/2024 10:27

From the moment they are born and even in the womb girls and boys are treated differently. Girls are taught to be compliant by society, boys are taught to be out going and test things, to push boundaries.

In the womb? How? That's nonsense

ElliLovesDogs · 29/07/2024 10:28

Sadly i think hes right just because of society. Females are still even today expected to comply and be subservient. We might feel like thats not the case but childcare/part time working/lower wages/caring all tend to land on the females shoulders. Makes me mad

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 29/07/2024 10:27

From the moment they are born and even in the womb girls and boys are treated differently. Girls are taught to be compliant by society, boys are taught to be out going and test things, to push boundaries.

PuttingDownRoots · 29/07/2024 10:26

Your H would have told off a girl for making a mess, while praising his son for being innovative.

My DH goes out of his way to explain various tasks to DDs... now they are curious about how things work.

Parents are children's biggest influences.

Wentie · 29/07/2024 10:24

I think sadly he is partly right, because society confines and constrains girls right from the start.

to be clear, biologically, I disagree and don’t think women are ‘compliant’ because we are female. I think societal influence starts from the day we are born, and even subconsciously affects how we are parented and treated.

they’ve done studies on babies where they’ve dressed them in clothes of the opposite sex and proved how people treat them differently. Baby girls were given dolls, boys given toys that improved spatial awareness.

it’s terrible. But, if he can’t acknowledge it’s societal and genuinely thinks girls just aren’t as lateral thinking biologically then yes, he’s a misogynist.

randomchap · 29/07/2024 10:23

What a load of bollocks

OhmygodDont · 29/07/2024 10:20

Didn’t a women invent the technology to take the first ever picture of a black hole or am I misremembering.

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