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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel slightly annoyed by SIL request

55 replies

Lucia212 · 29/07/2024 10:04

OH's sister, that's another whole story in itself I can straight up say now that No I don't like her and will avoid if I can for all the trouble she causes, it's just for OH and the kids I'll go to gatherings, events etc.

Anyway, the sister makes no effort whatsoever to visit or see us or arrange play dates for the kids, we always have to go to them. She's very much only interested if she can get something out of it/ benefits her in some way. Always on her terms and mostly OH goes by her plans which is annoying but says it's so the kids can spend time with their cousins.
She also nearly always palms the kids off to anyone she can.

Anyway she's asked since June whether we can babysit her 2 kids while her and BF go to some 'music festival thing' as she put it as she has noone else and it's near to where we live. I never answered Y/N bearing in mind her youngest is 6months and still breastfed and won't take a bottle! OH already agreed. I don't mind baby sitting, my boys would love to have their cousins over but it's the fact that for the whole 6months we've lived here she's come to see us once. And now it's convenient for her we should just help her out.
She's recently told OH it's fine she'll take kids with her now. Fine.
But I got a sneaky feeling she'll change her mind last minute.
And it's some big music festival all the stars, very popular less than an hour away from us and she didn't even think to invite us!!

I've got a BBQ invite anyway this weekend now so I won't have to make up any excuses so we'll go to that instead I'm not sure if bringing 3 kids and a baby along would be easy.

Would you be annoyed?

OP posts:
TemuSpecialBuy · 29/07/2024 10:15

I’d be annoyed with her and your DH

I am a bit of a dick so….

I’d take myself (and maybe one child? if I was feeling nice) off for the weekend and leave my DH to cash the cheque he decided to unilaterally write…

Hoardasurass · 29/07/2024 10:13

Just refuse to have them you have other plans already, if your dh agrees to have them then he will have to miss the bbq to look after them.
Tbh a breastfed 6 month old is unlikely to settle for you or your dh with a bottle as it doesn't sound as though you or your dh have a good bond with the baby

MrsSkylerWhite · 29/07/2024 10:12

No, I wouldn’t be annoyed.

redskydarknight · 29/07/2024 10:12

on the face of it, it's not clear why you're annoyed.

She asked if you would babysit; you had the option to say "No" but in fact DH said "yes", although she's now said she doesn't need you to babysit after all.

You openly say you don't like her, so I'm not sure why you feel she should go out of her way to organise visits to see you? It's not obligatory for cousins to meet up - reduce your visits to whatever suits you or don't bother at all. Coming to your house once in 6 months is perfectly fine (especially if she doesn't get on with you).

Wishimaywishimight · 29/07/2024 10:10

I can't say it would bother me to be honest. She asked so you could have said no, the fact your OH said 'yes' without consulting you is more of a problem.

So what if she changes her mind at the last minute? All you / OH have to say is "ah, we have plans already."

Also, why would she invite you if she had initially wanted you to mind her kids while she went? If the festival is near you, and you wanted to go, surely you would just have planned to go anyway?

I get that she doesn't visit you but I couldn't get annoyed about that, I'm not much of a visitor so I don't mind if people don't visit me!