My husbands short term memory is terrible, always has been as long as I’ve known him (17 years). He can remember in detail things he ate in a restaurant 20 years ago, but not that I said we needed milk 10 minutes ago.
He relies on me either deliberately or not to remind him of everything. He asks when are we going to… where are we going on holiday… type questions. If it’s someone’s birthday I have to remind him daily for a couple of weeks or until I lose my patience and say this is your last reminder now.
If I challenge him he says “my memory is terrible how do you not know that by now”. I have said he needs to take responsibility for it. You agree to watch the neighbours cat you set a reminder, not tell me and then I end up remembering and doing it and he doesn’t. No “remind me tomorrow to get some potatoes” No, set a reminder. I’ve told him I’m done carrying the mental load for him.
He won’t. I have asked him multiple times what he has against reminders and why he won’t use them when he admits his memory is terrible. He just goes quiet and won’t answer me.
Am I being unreasonable to think that while he can’t help his memory issues he can and should take steps (notes, lists, reminder, diary) to remember his own stuff?