Grandparents

I empathise. My parents are well off and we could really do with some more help whilst we have two in nursery. But. They don’t owe us anything.

Playing devils advocate. It doesn’t sound like the house is up to rental standard but it does sound like they’ve been offering a cheap rental option in a good area (sorry if that’s not correct). Say you’re paying £300 less than elsewhere, equivalent to “help” of £3600 a year.

You need to move out and stop waiting for the carrot, it’s being dangled from a stick and it’s not coming.

What has childcare got to do with it? They don’t owe OP anything

That's pretty generous childcare compared to what a lot of people get. Mine babysat for me every couple of years for 3-4 hours. It's not their job to baby sit the kids.

I have mixed feelings about what action you should take. It seems sensible to me that you would be better to move somewhere cheaper, and that would also disentangle the family relationships from finances. On the other hand, you've said that you're actually getting a very good deal on the rent compared to what you'd pay elsewhere, so would moving really be best for you? Can you lower your sights as far as what kind of house you have and get cheaper rent and start saving for a deposit on your own home?

Given your parents obviously own at least three properties, you'd hope they'd maybe forgive you the 100 a month during your maternity leave, but obviously that's not something they're choosing to do.

I could never treat my children like this but you need to make a decision whether you move . It sounds like your parents could get more rent on the open market but they would be legally bound to have the house a certain standard. Do you want the hassle of moving with a young baby ? Can you trim your budgets at all or sell some bits online . Are you entitled to any benefits at the moment?

@2ndmum2be unless your parents are happy to leave the house empty, then they will need to make the necessary repairs required to get it on the rental market. You moving out might be a wakeup call.

Do your parents at least help by doing a lot of childcare for you, or have in the past?

If they don’t, then they really are total shits!

Get your own place or at least look around, it sounds like you're getting a good deal?

I'd move. Then let them have the problem of a house that needs loads spending on it before they can rip someone else off with a massive rent.

I couldn't treat my children like that in a million years.

It's unfortunate that your parents are unwilling to reduce the rent given your financial situation and theirs, but they don't have to.

They're treating this as a business relationship, so you should do the same. If you had a landlord that was unrelated to you, you would be looking for somewhere else to live that you could afford. Do that.

I agree with the other posters. I couldn’t imagine doing this if I were your parents, but equally it is irresponsible to have another child if you can’t afford to.

Move out. Find something you can afford, but don’t flounce. Thank them for the support and generously so far.

However, I also think you should remember this. There will be a time when they need something equivalent from you, and perhaps you won’t be as inclined to dash around after them then.

It’s always amazing to me how easily people forget that everyone WILL need help at some point. M

It sounds like they are onto a nice little arrangement that works... for them! Also, why the need to have you and your sibling tied into mixed financial commitments, reeks of trying to retain control over you both. I'd be giving them notice and finding something else instead as they sound like the only ones benefiting from this.

If the rent is cheap for the size then if they are already subsidising you. They could rent it to someone else at market value and pile the money into their pensions. It’s not really fair to suggest their don’t care about you or your grandchildren when they let you rent it for less.
If finances are so dire that you can’t afford to eat then you need to consider renting something smaller but it’s not fair to guilt
your parents because you want to be subsidised more.

I would move so that it is a clear business relationship that is not blurred by any family relations.

I would also keep a distance from such family members who renege on agreements.

Don't forget.

It doesn’t sound as though you can afford to live in a large house, so you need to downsize to something smaller which you can afford and where the kitchen is up to your standards. Or, DH gets a second job to support his family. Bluntly, I’d imagine your parents feel you should have planned better for your maternity leave or waited until you were in a better position financially before having a second child and then claiming poverty. It’s a bit rich complaining that “they just don't seem to care if we can't even afford to eat” when apparently neither you nor DH put much care into thinking about whether you could afford to eat, but want them to shoulder responsibility.

Sounds like you either pay or go find somewhere cheaper. I couldn’t be like that with my DD but everyone is different so you just have to deal with what you are faced with unfortunately. Not to sound harsh but it sounds like they are your two choices