To chuck it all in and buy some cats after bad experiences of OLD?

Being a single & childfree woman with cats is bloody brilliant!

But when my sister was OLD she got her (very big, generally laid back and friendly) dog to vet the blokes. He was just polite to most of them. He barked his head off at one & he hardly ever barks at people, so that was an instant no.

Within 10 minutes of meeting one of the others, he was rolling over for belly rubs & poking him with his hefty front paw when they didn’t come quickly enough. That’s the one she ended up marrying.

Or that’s the way she tells the story anyway!

I don't blame you. But you got further than I did, I didn't get any matches, gave up and got a dog.

Yeah don’t perpetuate that misogynistic old trope that single women = loads of cats

There are plenty of men with cats but they never get associated with them for being single. Funny that.

Being single is MASSIVELY underrated.

Someone once posted a link on here to the most vile website where men rate and discuss prostitutes they’ve used. Whilst I wish I could bleach my brain to get rid of those images, I do sometimes wish there was one for men on OLD. So you could comment that x person sent a dick pic (WHO wants to see saggy balls? NO ONE) y person got drunk and was aggressive, z person “forgot his wallet” 3 dates in a row. It would be useful I think!! It’ll never happen obviously, so failing that op, yes I would recommend staying with cats and/or dogs. Much more trustworthy and reliable!

You don’t buy cats, you agree to work for them, unpaid and do whatever they demand. You are staff, not an owner.

Don't be that Vance trope!!

I'm married but I've said for a while now that should DH leave or pass away before I do that I'd probably get another dog rather than face OLD (I already have a cat).

I broke my ankle quite badly a few years ago and made the huge mistake of posting a picture of my cast on my instagram page and was inundated with messages from men I didn't know asking how I did it and most creepily of all how I was 'managing'. It still makes me feel weird.

YANBU cats are much better. Even knobhead cats like mine.

Cocoapuffpuff Wow that made me laugh "not so different from a bloke but way cuter!"

Yup. Get the cats.

Yes this.

Everyone needs a tiny furry overlord in their life, no matter what.

🐈

Thanks for reminding me why I don’t want to bother with it.
As to whether or not to give up - much depends on what you want.
If you want to start a family it’s worth all the effort. If you already have DC and an established life it can be harder to put yourself through the stress. Your ex is out there too somewhere. Mine has a new partner which BAFFLES me!
Happy middle aged mum of three here. One cat. 🐈

Get a dog - they are the best way of making friends! You can even go to places like cafes and pubs with them - and that could lead to meeting like minded people who become great friends, and who knows where that might take you? (Meeting people the old-fashioned, rather than the OLD way!)

It's a numbers game for sure. I think there are decent blokes on there but in a small ratio. You need to have a filter that only lets the very best people through. And be prepared to walk away when they hint at situationship. Go on lots of first dates, don't chat to any one person for too long before you meet and don't get attached until you know what they're about

I think there's a very happy life to be had without a partner though as long as you have people or pets who love you

That's what they want you to think 😸

I'm a widow and I'm currently engaging in a fun flirtation with another dog walker. When you see a man a few times a week and get to know them slowly it's much more interesting than the pressure of a dating app. The only issue is that he's very sensitive to me being a widow and I'm not sure how we progress beyond our meetings in the park.Dating when you're older is complex and people have so much baggage.Id hate to have to wait 4 dates to realise someone is totally unsuitable.

YABVU because you should rescue cats, not buy them.

😂knew there would be one along soon enough.

OP, I absolutely do not blame you.

Although I am a dog person and quite honestly, he is the he only other male (other than the one I birthed) that I have full trust in.

OLD is horrendous. I went on three dates. With different people. All three were awful and I vowed there and then it was the last.

(One screamed at me as I was reversing to leave, that I was too close to a flower bed - I wasn't. One left me standing in the middle of the road dumfounded as he had gone off in a strop as I wouldn't go home with him after the date, and the last, well he was 15 years older than he said and never asked me one thing about me, just spoke about how much he hates his ex wife the whole time!)

That was 2 years ago and I am quite resigned in the fact that its just me and the dog now.

Cats improve everything. Except your furniture. And carpets. Oh, curtains get shredded too. And they vomit on your clean bed then go for a snack.

Not much different from a bloke actually but way way cuter.

I gave up on dating and now have 2 cats

Never been happier as cats don't lie to you or have a hidden agenda

You have to relax a bit with OLD. Don' go with the expectation of finding "the one", go expecting to meet some people and have a good time.
Weed them out and quickly. Don't spend ages chatting online. You connect, exchange a few messages to make sure the man is not a total creep, then arrange to meet for a short walk and a coffee. Schedule 2-4 dates a week to get through the pool faster, make a shortlist and go from there.
I must have gone on dates with 20+ people before I met my partner but all in the space of 6 weeks. Kept it very light, no long-term planning or trips away (too early for that in most cases). Dropped them at the sign of the first red flag which typically is apparent on the second date, then moved on to the next batch.
I met some lovely people too with whom I didn't connect for one reason or another but we are still friends.

Yes get the cats, they don’t mean you can’t date but you won’t regret the cats whether you find another relationship or not.

I met DH on OLD but if anything happened to him, I think I’d just go for a cat or a dog. Not sure I could be arsed with anything else.

Nothing wrong with having cats and being in a relationship. Don't equate the two as being mutually exclusive.

What you describe from online dating has been noted in many other threads. I wish there could be something akin to a 'bad man' (or woman where they exist) register, and such people be not able to be on any online dating site. Will never happen though.