Have you ever dropped a friend?

Yes, when I eventually realised her jealousy of me was causing her to put me down / criticise me / laugh at me at every opportunity. Always “just a joke”. But clearly came from a painful place, and I’m sorry she was unhappy. But none of it was my fault.
It took me far too long to see what she was doing. She did try to speak to me at a mutual friend’s party, once she connected the dots and realised I hadn’t been in touch for a while. I told her it was neither the time nor the place. Then I blocked her. A decent person would not have behaved that way in the first place, so the friendship was beyond salvaging and I had no inclination to try.

Yes, ended a friendship, mainly because she was way too intense. She was also incredibly patronising and saw everyone as some sort of improvement project, usually when they were perfectly happy and a lot more well-balanced than her. She also made a massive drama out of other people’s problems/misfortunes - she was the sort of person who, if (for example) you had a cancer scare, would have been secretly disappointed when you got the all clear because she’d been looking forward to playing the selfless caring heroine. I had a nasty experience during our friendship, but one which I was able to put behind me and move on from, but she constantly kept telling me that she knew better than I did what was good for me and that I must need counselling etc.

She reacted badly and in particular was angry because once I’d said my piece I wasn’t prepared to discuss things any further, and she said I was denying her ‘closure’. I blocked her.

About three years later I had a (totally routine, keyhole, non-serious, only in hospital for 36 hours) operation and I received a card from her with a disproportionately dramatic message about how even though I’d ditched her she still cared. No idea how she even knew I was in hospital - I’d almost forgotten she existed. I shrugged and put the card in the bin.

Yes, after she stole from my house on yet another visit where we had been kind enough to accommodate her and her family. Could never trust her after that, especially as she wanted to come and stay on a day that I would have to go to work.
The friendship was mostly all about her anyway and how hard done by she was, and how much she openly envied my house. Joked about it but the envy was real.

3: I asked for advice on here and was told I wasn’t being unreasonable. Would have done it regardless.

One was because we drifted apart and I was unhappy at the thought of seeing her again and wanted an excuse to not. I sent her a message very polite, blocked her on all platforms and haven’t heard a word since.

Another was because all she wanted to talk about was her relationship with an ex from college and couldn’t care less if her Dh overheard or anything about my life.

A third was because she very nearly got my DH in a lot of trouble-could have been sacked-because she had an issue with her neighbour and used my DH’s name to put the frighteners on him. My DH knew nothing about it and was confronted by his superior, totally blindsided. Absolutely outrageous, immediately dropped. She had chased me hard to be her friend, I was quite flattered, but that was disgusting.

Yes, she doesn't want to vaccinate her children and doesn't 'believe' in toothpaste 'because Fluoride is a chemical'. Thats a step too fucking far into crazy land for me. No more play dates / proper friendship but I'll make friendly small talk if I see her at toddler group.

Yes, because I realised that she was a frenemy. Intensely competitive, always jealous of me and my success. Who needs that??

Ugh. Intolerable to be a sounding board for somebody who keeps making excuses for an asshole, OP.

Yes. Someone from uni who I realised after eight years of friendship was interfering in my relationships, didn't have my best interests at heart and was only happy when I was down because of boyfriend or work problems. It was a relief to be honest.

Yes. She was considering going back to the man who had abused her son, and she had owed me money for a year with no attempt to pay. These were just two in a long line of actions that made me realize her character sucked.

If you've given her chance after chance and she's still being a shit friend, she isn't going to change.

Yes. She developed an obsession with my kids and started to try to override my parenting decisions.

I dropped a 'friend' who I realised was becoming more controlling towards me and actually got angry when didn't get the response they wanted. So ghosted them (though it wasn't a term then) as I did not see the value in getting shouted at and manipulated into seeing it was all my fault. When I realised I was never going to see them again, all I felt was relief, and still do. I protected myself.

Yes finally realised I was being done out of money by this friend so stopped making plans. I then messaged her asking for the money she owed me time and time again, took months but her parents paid me back.

Didn't speak for years after, got the occasional text, when I had my son she sent a gift and a card which I gave pleasantries to. Did meet up with her a couple of times after she had her child but was just never the same. Could never trust her as she fiddled a number of her friends out of money also. She seems to have changed since having a child but I just can't go back to being friends with someone like that.

I dropped a friend many years ago, when I was much younger. She became jealous of literally everything - where I lived, the fact my family were better off than hers, the fact I'm an only child and didn't need to 'share' anything with a sibling, and the fact my boyfriend fancied me and not her, was the final straw. She bad mouthed me, told lies and in the end I stopped all contact. The friendship became toxic, and I didn't like the person she became. I saw her 8 years later, at a concert venue, for a second I thought about going to say hello, but stopped myself. She never saw me, and since then I haven't seen her since. I don't regret it at all.

Yes same as you long story which I’m not going to bore anyone about but at the time it was very painful even though I knew it was for the best.
emotionally I didn’t want to but logically I knew I had to.

I loved her and didn’t want to it to be this way and even now I don’t wish badly for her but I can’t have her in my life! The feelings of missing her I have realised are not about the reality it about how I wanted our friendship to be and not what it was!

I have to say whilst I would have wanted it to be different my life is better without the friendship!
things are much calmer and there’s less angst im not wasted energy worrying over things with her etc.

in the years since other mutual friends have lowered contact or fallen out with her so I don’t hear much about her anymore and from the little I do nothing has changed, so it shows me it was the right choice.

Yes, she was supposed to be my best friend, I'd always been there for her, and then when I had multiple miscarriages she was so insensitive I couldn't bear to look at her again. The scales feel from my eyes and I realised how selfish she was, I just hadn't really seen it before.

I just stopped speaking to her after she said something really out of order in a text to me, and that was it. She never tried to get in touch so I guess I'd never really meant anything to her except as a prop in her life.

I just wish I hadn't had her as my bridesmaid. I nearly didn't after some behaviour from her but I was persuaded to overlook it. I regret that now.

I am finding it really hard and miss my friend. I realised after years that she never replied when I asked her over but would only get in touch in the end whem she wanted a favour . I let it go for so long as she has a lot on her plate and I genuinely love her but in the end I think I need to protect myself from bro g treated a such a non friend

As I've got older I've become more choosy about who I choose to spend my time with.
I have realised knowing someone since primary school doesn't mean you need to spend time with them or know them forever.
I haven't dropped them, just prioritise other people and rarely stay in touch.
My parents still send Xmas cards with letters to people they "know" but don't like and haven't seen in 40 years which I have never understood.

Yes, she knew why but carried on. So I informed her face to face. She had to find another job.

Zero fucks given.

yes, I regret it. I think both of us were at fault. I miss her.

Yes someone I had been friends with for years but it became clear she didn't really like me and was always negatively judging me. So freeing to admit something just isn't working.

No, it’s cowardly and childish to ghost people, which is my understanding of dropping people.

Yes and I didn’t look back. Ever.

Yes! Some people just drain you emotionally and always have some kind of drama going on. But they are never present for you. I don’t have room in my life for friends like this anymore and I feel so much lighter without them.