Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours kid

121 replies

wishingw · 28/07/2024 19:29

So we've lived in our home for 2 years now (we own it) and we've had a few issues with the neighbours kid who lives diagonally to our back garden. The kid is 12/13 ish (pretty sure he's in high school now) and he's been known to sit on the fence and look into our garden at our dogs. I've caught him doing it maybe 5/6 times, today being one of those times. He was sat on the fence and looking over and my dogs obviously went ballistic so I had to go out to calm them down. He did it again and pretended he was climbing over to my neighbours to get a ball, again my dogs went crazy so I went out and asked him politely to get down which he did. 5 mins later he again was up at the fence and my dogs went crazy again, he also was whistling and clearly trying to get my dogs attention.
I went out and brought my dogs in as they were getting worked up.
I've been out and asked him to get down, I'm not really sure what more I can do. I'm not sure who his parents are but my neighbour said they're kinda rough so don't really want to go round there.
I'm trying to think of a way to block his view and give my garden more privacy. We already have 6ft fences but has he climbs and sits on his fence anyway it doesn't make much difference.
AIBU to want to block his view or am I overreacting?
I'll also add I have autism and very bad anxiety and this is really having an effect on me and I constantly feel paranoid that he's up at the fence looking in.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Redburnett · 28/07/2024 20:36

This is a dog owner problem not a neighbour's kid problem. Train your dogs to stop being so reactive.

Original poster
wishingw · 28/07/2024 20:35

@TheresaCrowd my dogs only bark if they see him sitting watching us. They never bark otherwise, they're both 8 so getting on a bit. When they do bark at him I stop them immediately as I'd never want my dogs to disrupt anyone

OP posts:
Original poster
wishingw · 28/07/2024 20:34

Thank you everyone for the suggestions. I hadn't heard of the sail shade before so this seems like a good idea! Ideally I'd like to have something growing to be more permanent but I think a sail shade or a large umbrella/parasol would work for now until we can get some things planted. In the mean time if I notice it I'll just bring my dogs inside. It's a shame as we lived in a terrace with a very small garden before we moved here and were looking forward to letting our dogs enjoy our new garden

OP posts:
TheresaCrowd · 28/07/2024 20:32

PixieLaLar · 28/07/2024 20:21

What an idiotic comment.

The dogs are doing nothing wrong, of course they are going to bark at some weirdo sitting on a fence looking down into their garden.

Show quote history

The 'weirdo' you're referring to is a child, does that make you feel clever?

Dogs bark at all sorts of things in the garden, you have to train them to stop or bring them indoors.

The OP is concentrating on this boy being a 'problem neighbour', but she's the one whose probably pissing all her other neighbours off with her noisy dogs.

blueberryforest · 28/07/2024 20:30

If the restriction is regarding putting trellis on the fence to make it taller, can you not put a panel of trellis inside your garden, freestanding/not attached to the fence? Or for something faster, a clothesline near the fence with something large hanging there until the kid gets bored? It won't stop him whistling or making noises to bother your dogs, but maybe he'll find it less interesting if he can't see them.

blackcherryconserve · 28/07/2024 20:30

PixieLaLar · 28/07/2024 20:21

What an idiotic comment.

The dogs are doing nothing wrong, of course they are going to bark at some weirdo sitting on a fence looking down into their garden.

Show quote history

So agree! The dogs are protecting their territory.

Delphiniumandlupins · 28/07/2024 20:30

Could you maybe put up one of those sail things to block his view? Or would he still be able to see in by moving along the fence a bit? A garden umbrella might be cheap too. Something tall in a pot, that you could move, might also make you feel more comfortable.

It may be that he is just a bit bored so stopping your dogs reacting may mean he gives up of his own accord.

Suusue · 28/07/2024 20:30

Can't believe some of the posts on here. This kid needs to be trained NOT to sit on top of 6ft fences and stare into your garden and upset your dogs. Needs to bloody behave . I'd never allow my kids to do that. You have high fences for a reason.

MissingMoominMamma · 28/07/2024 20:29

TheresaCrowd · 28/07/2024 20:15

This is exactly why you need to train YOUR dogs.

Telling a boy to get off HIS fence makes you a massive CF I'm afraid.

Your dogs are the problem here, not him.

Show quote history

That’s bollocks!

Hes sitting atop a 6’ fence, staring into someone’s garden!

Superfuryanimal · 28/07/2024 20:27

SayTheWeirdThing · 28/07/2024 20:21

What on earth kind of shit garden set up do you have where your neighbours can “always” see into your garden?

Show quote history

Lots of people have gardens that are overlooked and are quite happy to tolerate this - but it's pretty rare to be overlooked by some lummox of a kid sitting on the fence.

chattyness · 28/07/2024 20:26

Even fast growing plants can take a bit of time to establish, while you're waiting for them to grow could you get one of those pop up gazebos and put it over in that corner, it would stop the dogs seeing him at least and then he'll have less to look at too and might just bugger off, a gazebo roof isn't very interesting is it

blackcherryconserve · 28/07/2024 20:26

wishingw · 28/07/2024 19:57

Dogs are naturally protective of their environment? Even if I didnt have dogs or if they didn't bark I'd still be very uncomfortable with someone invading my privacy as I'm sure you would? Or maybe I am just overreacting. My anxiety does seem to go to worse case scenario sometimes

Show quote history

I agree with you OP. When we still had our DDog and were living in a flat with a huge 100m flat roof terrace, every time someone in the block opposite opened a window DDog would bark. He was guarding his territory. I just had to bring him indoors!

Original poster
wishingw · 28/07/2024 20:25

Itiswhysofew · 28/07/2024 20:24

Put up trellis, as PP has suggested?

I wouldn't be happy with a kid nosing into my garden either. Your dogs are alerting you to danger. Hope he doesn't fall in to yours.

I'm not sure I'd be able to as I already have a 6ft fence and I don't think trellis can be much higher than this? I could be wrong but I did think of putting some trellis up until I saw that it's height restricted

OP posts:
Charlize43 · 28/07/2024 20:25

If you are looking for a sensible suggestion then I'd suggest planting a Buddleia (Butterfly Bush) might help as they are extremely fast growers and are excellent for the environment as very popular with bees & butterflies.

Cattery · 28/07/2024 20:24

I agree with OP. The kid’s obviously a pest. He’d be bogging into your garden dogs or no dogs. Just keep telling him to get down (irritating to have to keep interacting, I know). The sail shade is a good idea but piss take that his feral behaviour and lack of parenting is going to cost you money

Itiswhysofew · 28/07/2024 20:24

Put up trellis, as PP has suggested?

I wouldn't be happy with a kid nosing into my garden either. Your dogs are alerting you to danger. Hope he doesn't fall in to yours.

Chocchipluckie · 28/07/2024 20:22

Trellis and some quick growing climbers up it.

SayTheWeirdThing · 28/07/2024 20:21

KissMyArt · 28/07/2024 20:18

Invasion of privacy?

Do you make all your surrounding neighbours brick up their windows?

Unless you live in the middle of nowhere, people can always see into your garden.

They are not private.

Show quote history

What on earth kind of shit garden set up do you have where your neighbours can “always” see into your garden?

3rdtimeinflorida · 28/07/2024 20:21

needtonamechangeforthis1 · 28/07/2024 20:01

What a brat!!
Sounds like he's clearly out to wind the dog up!

As an owner of a reactive dog I can tell you it's not as simple a training!!!! Bloody hell the ignorance around about dogs!!!
I'd be raising the fence and putting trellis up or rapid growing trees across the back to prevent him.

Well said! Thought it was just me.

Petitchat · 28/07/2024 20:21

LilBowWow · 28/07/2024 20:18

If the OP hadn’t mentioned dogs everyone would be in agreement that the boy’s behaviour is weird and intrusive. Owning a dog means your fair game in MN world.

Totally agree with this.

PixieLaLar · 28/07/2024 20:21

TheresaCrowd · 28/07/2024 20:15

This is exactly why you need to train YOUR dogs.

Telling a boy to get off HIS fence makes you a massive CF I'm afraid.

Your dogs are the problem here, not him.

Show quote history

What an idiotic comment.

The dogs are doing nothing wrong, of course they are going to bark at some weirdo sitting on a fence looking down into their garden.

SayTheWeirdThing · 28/07/2024 20:19

Rfthyhuj · 28/07/2024 20:02

This thread is crackers. A teenage lad shouldn’t be staring into someone’s garden. It’s creepy quite frankly, regardless of the dogs.

Could you plant bamboo in pots to obscure the view?

This!!!

What on earth is wrong with the “he’s doing nothing wrong” people? Of course he is. People don’t sit on border fences and stare I to their neighbours’ gardens. That’s threatening/intimidating, minimally it’s fucking weird.

OP, drop his parents a note and ask him to stop staring at you/your garden. You have a right to privacy.

LilBowWow · 28/07/2024 20:18

If the OP hadn’t mentioned dogs everyone would be in agreement that the boy’s behaviour is weird and intrusive. Owning a dog means your fair game in MN world.

SheilaWilde · 28/07/2024 20:18

I forgot to add the diagram, like this.

Neighbours kid