New career working Christmas as single parent

Try babysitters instead of childminders and see if you can set something up for those 2 days? In the job let them know the situation in regards to no family and childcare and that you're not asking for special treatment at all but you could really do with as much notice as possible as you need to try to source childcare for 5 - and knowing what you're working will help - they may have some ideas themselves or know of some staff who don't mind working those days when not rostered to help out parents who struggle.

If you can try to tie your work down to a day shift instead of a night shift, and maybe hire 2 babysitters instead of 1 as you won't know them as well as your regular providers, you might find a way? It's a pain as it would end up very expensive of course, but it would at least open up the channels of communication at work without saying 'no' which is the bit that will make it harder there - and there will have been other parents struggle with the issue before, so being proactive and asking if they know what others have done before, talking about the fact you're going to try childcare.co.uk and look at babysitters/others to try to cover it but need a bit of time so you can meet the person/s and have them meet the kids etc might just help towards your work giving you some ideas/a nicer shift/the names of some colleagues who might not mind helping etc

It's not just the cost, although I'm expecting it to be utterly unaffordable - none of my childcare providers will work on Christmas or Boxing day. I will obviously keep looking for someone who is willing and have asked around but nobody seems to know anyone.

@ItsSpookySeason where are you based - best bet is to register with a local nanny agency and they will find you one but likely to be costly

As I said above I know mn who work Xmas time but for double time

The thing is, she is clearly prepared to offer something in return. She’s specifically said she can work any other day, she can take Christmas Eve, she can take New Year’s Day. Why couldn’t you acknowledge that?

Doesn’t change the fact what you are telling the op is the solution is not, in fact, a solution.

Down on the deal hey. The sooner benefits stop for those that don’t work full time the better. The op clearly wants to work. Stop discouraging her.

I also think full time ward work sounds untenable for you. Surely by the time you pay a childminder an overnight rate you're down on the deal? I know you can't work in outpatients etc for the first year (seems odd, I've never heard of this) but could you bank? All wards are slightly different, DH is a nurse and if it's your year to work Christmas you'd do 24th-26th (either days or nights). There are parents on his ward who have been to HR and managed to wangle special shifts. It's quite frustrating for us tbh.

I found this site, they do Christmas day carers but I'm not sure if they're available in your area.
https://www.emergencychildcare.co.uk/

And because the sinking NHS is packed with single muns you can't expect a lot. It's not something special in 2024.
But if you offer your coworkers a god deal and do an efford it can be solved. But be prepared to offer something in return.

But it's not her coworkers' responsibility. But quite often if you offer a good deal a coworker will help you out.

Our nursery has special openings for blue light families.

whereaboutszare you op? Even with your region shared people may have suggestions

Ah yes all those single mums with 5 kids and no family whose exes have left the country and refuse to come back who’ve lined up childcare overnight and 364 days a year. The nhs is packed with them.

some of these posters would be whining about someone finding out they have stage 4 cancer and going on sick leave.

I also work in the NHS and have 5 kids. Some workplaces have let us request what we prefer to work out of Xmas and NY. Others do a year on/year off. My current employer has a freeze on all requests over the festive period but generally those who are child free swap shifts to help accommodate parents. Generally you’d need to work one or other though. Could you look at a scheduled care type service which is closed over festive periods (my aunt works in a GP practice as a practice nurse and gets the bank holidays/xmas/ny etc off).

But they can’t. He won’t have them. What exactly do you think she should do- chuck 5 little kids unaccompanied on a plane and hope he collects??

This- I would write it up in a letter and take it to your line manager. A line stating rhe effort you’ve gone to to arrange childcare, the layers you have built up with various programs, that you have coverage for 364 days a year, but not Christmas Day, and haven’t been able to find any. Your eldest diagnosis, your husband moved overseas and refuses to come back and visit more than twice a year, with those times set in months x & y. You understand this kind of request is frowned upon but you have no more ideas, and have no childcare on Christmas Day for 5 children, you are happy to take suggestions but cannot at this point see that you have any option other than to not work Christmas Day. You’re happy to work Xmas Eve till 9pm, New Year’s Day… you have every other day covered.

what a stinking fucking asshole he is. I hope he rots in hell and your kids grow up and realise how amazing you are.

She’s already said he’s been quite clear which two months he will visit in- neither is December. She didn’t ask for him to fuck off to another country with another woman!!

More and more of my non Christmas nurse coworkers seem to celebrate Christmas with their families. A non religious Christmas.
It was different then I was young.

Not everyone is Christian or observes Christmas. Surely with several months notice you can find someone who will come to your home to stay with the kids while you work Christmas Day?

I'm a single parent and my DS used to spend every second Xmas with his Dad, and when he was with his Dad I just postponed our Christmas till he was back with me - there are sure to be some nurses in the same position as I was who will be sympathetic to you and willing to swap as they wouldn't be doing Xmas on Xmas day.

And as for single people not wanting to cover, before I had DS I was always happy to work between Xmas and New Year (I did have Xmas Day and Boxing Day off) as I knew it was really hard for people with kids to get into work on those days. Not every single person resents colleagues with family responsibilities.

I think you are amazing.
I was a nurse for 40 years and as a manager did many rotas.
If you offer to work Xmas Eve, New Years Eve and New Years Day any reasonable manager would give you the time off you need in your circumstances. As a previous poster said talk to your line manager. At the end off the day you can't leave your children unattended, so you won't be turning up for duty. Good luck.

You might consider to offer to cover EVERYTHING for a colleague regardless of what they ask.
Possibly cover two or three (sh* t) shifts in exchange for a Christmas shift. Or pay a coworker a sum to do your shift.
It also costs money indirectly, however. But it often does the job.

You can be lucky a colleague covers your shift. I have done my share as a young nurse.

This was the reason I left nursing.

Yet another deadbeat father gets off with not doing a damn thing. Disgraceful.

I normally say tough luck when parents whine about spending Christmas Day with their kids but my god what do all you keyboard warriors expect this woman to do?

She has a deadbeat ex. She can’t force a childminder to work.

Well done to you OP for not giving up and setting yourself some career goals rather than sitting at home like some people on here expect you to.

Most people are decent. Someone will swap with you if you end up on the rota.

In reality a lot of bank and agency nurses sign off for Christmas. Don't count on these to get the wards through sh* t.

Of course not, that was clumsily worded. What I mean is that there is usually a balance of who wants what time off depending on circumstances. Some people don’t celebrate Christmas so it doesn’t bother them. Some love to work it for the extra cash.