New career working Christmas as single parent

Would your sister consider visiting for Xmas ? Or new years ? So then she could spend the day with the kids?
Failing that do you have the room for an aupair?

while the child free will just be expected to suck it up

In every job that I have had, any holiday that I had already booked prior to starting, was always honoured so that will hopefully sort you for this year, but I think that would immediately mean that you would be expected to work next Christmas, but does give you longer to arrange something.

She's a newly qualified nurse. She is limited in where she can work at the moment because she needs to go through preceptorship and get IV training n all that. Telling her to join the Bank or an agency or a specialist/specific type of nursing is pointless. Ward work is the most common and easiest/fastest way to get these skills and training. She will be in a better position to be more picky in a year.

It's BS tbh for a lot of people.

It won't mean a thing for most industries really - flexi working only really suits office based roles where you don't need to be present or on-site at set times in order to do your job.

I mean, can you imagine if all emergency workers decided they didn't want to do weekends anymore? Or if supermarket workers decided they all wanted mornings off, or to close at 2pm so they could pick their kids up from school?

It just won't work. It's a nice idea, but it won't work.

You can find a paid babysitter. A lot of nurses I have worked with over the years in dofferent wards did this at Christmas (and other days). No fun for you but it can be done.

I know.
It will mean nothing for a lot of people on 24/7 shifts. Not at all.

I do the Bank/Agency work. I have no issues with work but it might be because I cover a lot as I trained years ago.
I never work fFridatmys/weekends/holidays because of my family. It's perfect.
I might not be a good way to go as a new nurse.

Oh that’s a tough one op, I’m a nurse ex a police officer so we jiggled for years until we split but I’d worked my job for years and managed to work his days off which was still tricky. I have 4 kids youngest has additional needs so struggleD for childcare. Your ex is a peach isn’t he just leaving you with 5 kids and buggering off abroad. Only thing you can really do is start the job, see how it goes and ask what happens re Christmas. I used to do nightshift Christmas night and/or boxing night so I had days with the kids. But it’s tough op, look for some practise jobs, outpatients, vaccination etc wish you luck and sorry you’re in this position, hope you end up on a nice ward with understanding colleagues

It's also not what the new law means - it just changes how you can request it, it doesn't mean you're guaranteed to get it (the same as now, really).

The idea of everyone being entitled to flexible working where they pick and choose their hours and days is lovely, but it just doesn't work in reality.

Oh yes all the nurses having a family will mind. Sorry.

So no nurses, firefighters or police officers on duty 24/7?

It's not how the future is. Sorry.

First off I want to say a massive congratulations! It’s not easy studying with young kids and nevermind as a single mum! Absolutely killing it girl.
have you looked at gingerbread? They are a charity supporting single parents in the UK - they might have some ideas ?

Look for jobs in primary care. You’re employed by the GP practice, not the NHS as such and many surgeries are happy to employ NQN.

No nights, weekends or bank holidays.

Does your hospital offer childcare? Some larger Trusts do. You won't be the only one in this pickle.

One of the many reasons I left the toxic NHS was that as a single parent working 3 x 12.5hr shifts, I wasn't allowed to make any requests ... and was actively put on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, every single week. Like you, I had zero childcare options. They aren't interested, and you'll get treated horribly just for asking.

Congratulations on reaching this stage in your nursing career, OP.

Have you actually been offered a job which will involve working this Christmas, or are you looking at possibilities in advance?

If you have accepted a job offer and working at Christmas is something you will need to do, could you ask whether a family member could come and stay with you for a week, offering to pay for their flights etc?

There are nannies who might work at Christmas, but the cost would be simply out of the question under normal circumstances.

Might not work but would your family member consider coming back for Christmas or having the kids visit? Also, your ex husband sucks. Well done on being such a good Mum!

OP you have worked so hard to get where you are. It must be very frustrating to be thwarted by your ex husband who is really not being reasonable at all. I cannot see that you will be able to avoid working the Christmas period entirely and it would seem to be a good idea to deal with this sooner than later. If your ward manager is wiling to make an exception for you this year then maybe by next year you would be able to move to a community or outpatient role? Long term ward working will require being on the rota for Christmas.

Make friends as soon as you start then hopefully colleagues will be willing to swap with you. Some will work Christmas if it means they can get New Years off instead, for example. I don't know if it applies to all Trusts but in mine Christmas and Boxing Day shifts are shorter than normal so it is fewer hours needing covered by childcare. You might have to use a nanny-type company to cover that day. It will probably cost you more than you will earn for the shift, sadly.

There will be people willing to look after your children at Christmas but it will cost a lot and need to be organised well in advance. Perhaps an international student who is not returning home for Christmas.

If you have to do ward work before you can progress, then it's good you are being proactive now.

There is an organisation, but I personally have no experience so am not recommending it, called something like Hire a Granny. It puts younger families in contact with older people who want the opportunity to be someone's grandparents. You might find an older person willing to come and stay and help host a family style Christmas. No idea how much they would charge.

Is a job working rotating 12 hour shifts including nights, weekends and bank holidays really going to be feasible long-term when you're a single parent to three children?

You'd be better off finding a nursing job with more regular, set hours if possible, surely?