AIBU by people's reactions.

Well, a 1 year old can't, really, and I suspect a 4 year old would get tearful.

It's easy for kids to say they will forego Christmas presents in lieu of an annual holiday whilst still in the throes of the holiday buzz.

Fast forward to December 25th when they're say with no presents to open and I guarantee they will feel very VERY different.

Isn't a holiday abroad just another form of overconsumption? No one really needs to fly abroad every summer. A holiday isn't somehow worthier than Christmas presents (and vice-versa).

Better option = you put Christmas present money aside for holidays and no one else needs to do it. I actually understand your logic, but also see why it’s not a good look to others.

OP probably told everyone it was the one-year-old's idea.

Exactly! I got taken to Pontins and Haven when I was little and had the time of my life 😄Young children couldn't give a fuck about going abroad, holidays are all the same to them.

You don’t get to dictate what people do or don’t give you op. Sorry but this makes you sound really spoilt & entitled!!!

I'm sorry but I see this as cheeky fuckery of the highest order!

😂

Same difference.

In both scenarios OP is net cash neutral. If anything, she is better off in her proposed scenario as its likely that people would gift more money than they would have spent on a present.

OP has not returned. Can only assume she is waiting for the one year old to type out a fluent defence of mum's decision...

You can ask but they can say no. And tbh if you earn a lot of money it's a bit off. My in-laws give me money for Christmas that I spend on our national trust membership, we wouldn't be able to afford it otherwise. My mum always gives me money for my birthday with a note telling me to use it to buy myself some clothes without holes in.

I don’t really understand how you would save money this way. Presumably you also buy those people you’ve asked for money presents. So it’s just an exchange anyway.

Why not just decide not to buy any presents for anyone, and not to receive any presents for anyone. This is the only way you will actually save money.

I do hope you write for a living. 😂

I would have more sympathy had Op come back from holiday knowing they couldn’t ever afford again. Having had such a good time, trying to think of ways to finance it again might go round your head. It may seem to worth it.

But with a combined income of over 140k, expect people to finance a holiday with money that would be spent on the kids is odd. If money is given it would belong to the kids.

Why would a 1 and 4 year old be paying for their own holiday? All to save their mum and dad a bit of money?

Firstly, you are cuckoo.

Secondly, I hope your kids are not actually 1 and 4 because aside from being cuckoo you are double cuckoo if you think a 1 and 4 year old can engage in a conversation about family finances.

Thirdly, aside from how utterly cuckoo you are (apologies to any cuckoos who I feel would be rightfully offended by the comparison), if what this is actually about is saving money for Christmas for a summer holiday, you could just TELL family/friends (if you have any left) that you, as a family, with the stringent rubber stamp of approval from the 1 year old, that you won’t be buying Christmas gifts this year as you’ll be pretending that holiday doesn’t exist so that you can have a longer and more extravagant summer jolly. However, you then can’t expect them to still buy (be that in present form or cash form) for you when you’re not buying for them.

And if I asked my mum to not buy her grandchildren a Christmas gift, she would think I was utterly batshit. And my mum is not in any way the interfering or argumentative type. I’m very sure that she would become both interfering and argumentative if I tried to stand between her as a grandma and her poor grandkids receiving a Christmas gift from her though. She definitely wouldn’t reward my grabbiness by tipping the contents of her purse into my Benidorm fund though, sadly.

I think there’s no harm in ‘asking’, but a CF to ‘demand’ and then get annoyed because others don’t want to fall in with what you want.

The problems with this are:

• You are sucking the joy out of choosing presents and the children don’t get a present from those family members (they won’t understand a holiday is instead). If you ask for cash, it may as well be to pay the leccy bill or TV licence.

• By asking for cash, the amount they spend is very obvious (no deal hunting for them) so they are forced to spend over a certain amount not to look stingy.

You’re mental.

YABU!!! Heh, since when can you dictate when people give what?

How old are the kids? Did they really decide this or was it your idea they went along with?

It’s fine to ask for anything present related but absolutely not fine to insist, especially when you must know you’re depriving the grandparents of a chance to see the kids unwrap a present they’ve chosen. I assume (unless they are 18 plus) your kids will need other stuff like toys, activities, clothes, books etc throughout the year. Why don’t you get the grandparents to buy this stuff and then put the money you’ve saved towards the holiday.

What meanies! Yeah, I’m sure your kids will love the idea their mercenary parents have had the holiday fund topped up instead of presents from family. Really selfish of you.

Absolutely wild! Team MIL here

You can’t ruin the spirit of Christmas for your family especially the kids. Save up and pay to take your kids on holiday yourself if it’s a priority for you.

You are financially abusing your own children and stealing their Christmas like Scrooge you utter CF