AIBU by people's reactions.

Myself and my two children do not celebrate Christmas, everyone thinks I’m mad but my reasoning is this : we are not Christian’s 😂😂😂 my kids are 5, 3.. so still young but never had a Christmas present, I ended up taking them on holiday over the Christmas period last year to Switzerland , but think I did this because I often get comments “you are tight” “just put a tree up, get them presents” …. I’m not Christian, never celebrated Christmas apart from a few times when I was a child. In my opinion, everyone who celebrates holidays “for the sake of it”, who are not Christian obviously , is bizarre to me. When it’s my children’s birthdays I go all out, we usually go on holiday, they get lots of gifts , plus we travel abroad 3 times per year , and they have toys etc bikes, all they could want. I just don’t see the point. Plus it’s more of a commercial thing anyway, why do people who are clearly struggling spend all this money to decorate their house and for gifts for everyone else anyway. Surely your children’s birthdays are more important that Xmas day (unless of course you are Christian - then no offence - I understand Christian’s celebrating). We do not celebrate Easter, Halloween either and any other holiday …. Only birthdays and life in general 😂😂😂

Hi op,

I understand that to have everyone on boards is always nice but…She can do what she wants…
for you to be furious at this, places an intent of use of her money to your benefit and what you think benefit yours. She evidently disagrees.

Enjoy your holiday, she will enjoy her gifts.

good luck 🌺

Just offer it as a choice, you can't dictate what others should do. So sad the days when presents were appreciated and waited for, now they aren't even wanted a lot of the time. X

Exactly, it is outrageous and mean.

Holidays come from the household’s budget, presents from grandparents are not part of the household budget, they are treats for children. You are basically telling your MIL not to treat your children but contribute to your household budget so you can treat your family to better holidays.

Exactly what I was thinking.

It's entirely up to OP, and I can see her reasoning, but personally I would feel a bit miffed about being "told" not to buy a present but put it towards a holiday.

I would quite like to be a fly on the wall on Christmas morning when the holiday is long forgotten and the kids have NO presents from anyone!

YABU you can’t dictate what people buy as a present you sound entitled. What you can do is decide that you’re not giving each other presents or giving your children presents and put that money in a savings pot. I think you’re missing the point about why people give gifts.

YABU.
You can’t bend everyone to your will.
Let your MIL buy gifts for her grandchildren. Do not deny her that pleasure.

This had to be a windup

Sorry OP but asking for money to bankroll your summer holiday is tacky AF

How old are your kids?

It's a great idea if you decide to spend lees on kids and nothing on each other and put the money into savings but it's unreasonable to expect extended family to follow suit!

Mine was early 80s, so quite likely an updated version. Quite likely to be Argos too 😀
In fact my dm was probably sent to get it for them to wrap up.

Except that in this world with no presents, the children don't have any board games to play (if they are just being bought stuff anyway, then the requesting money towards a summer holiday makes even less sense - just request gifts and put the money you don't spend on the stuff, towards the holiday.

Ah, that does sound better, though. 👍I think I got mine when I was five or six, so '75 or '76, probably from the Argos catalogue. 😅

Mine was a plastic case. Which lasted better, but it was totally rigid so you had to really fiddle around to get everything back in.

I think I might have got that, or something similar, it was in a cardboard case that you were meant to keep everything in, but I accidentally tore it thinking it was the packaging. 😭 My dad had to sellotape it back together, but of course it wasn't quite the same. 😅

How old are your grandchildren?

I think when I hit my teens my grandparents started giving me money or vouchers, so I could choose what to spend it on. It was a good idea, as I had reached an age where I was difficult to buy for and I enjoyed choosing new clothes or makeup (which they would have found difficult to do on my behalf).

That isn't the same as what's happening here. The children aren't able to choose what their Christmas money is being spent on, as the parents have already decided it's going in their holiday fund.

I remember what I got from my grandparents aged 4yo. I opened it in their lounge sitting next to the sofa with my Uncle behind me and it was a set of hair things in a case. There was a hairdryer (powered with a battery), curlers, clips, and hair brushes, all in pink and purple plastic.
I read what was on the bottom. It said "Made in Hong Hong" and I asked where that was, and my grandad got out his huge world atlas to show me. Then I went round and brushed all my family's hair that would let me and decorated them with the clips etc. At the end, Granny helped me fit it all back in the case to take it home.

The next year they brought me a basket with a display of dried flowers in it. I used to carry it round and pretend I was being a bridesmaid.

That was around 45 years ago. No there aren't any photos to remind me, nor have I seen that case in 40 years.
So saying a 4yo will forget by January isn't necessarily true.

I don't think the 1 year old is at school and the 4 year old will have forgotten what they got by January.

It is probably the best thing to do, I have people I feel obliged to buy for so I buy a fancy toiletry set and they buy me some fancy chocolates and at the end of the day they are fine with Lidl toiletries and I'm fine with Cadburys and it is all a colossal waste of money. Not to mention the agonising moment you realise they've spent more than you and you feel guilty and embarrassed.

As for the "joy" of shopping for Christmas presents, no I can't see that it is just another chore. On the other hand sitting down to a Christmas meal, playing boardgames with the kids, going to a Carol Service makes a lovely Christmas.

Depends on your family traditions I suppose. My granny used to buy us two vests, two pairs of knickers and some school socks every Christmas I think my GC prefer the things they get with the money I send

They can't consent to it anyway, @ohfook - they're 1 and 4!

Honestly in the middle of summer when you're fresh off your hols and have 12 months to wait until your next one, it'll seems like an awesome idea to your kids.

On Christmas morning when they're getting up to one small gift and then returning to school to hear their friends chat about everything they got, they won't be as committed to the idea!

Also, I'm against tat for tats sake but I think you're being too dictorial about what their grandparents get them.

Spot on

I told everyone years ago I wasn't giving or wanting to receive Chrissy pressies any more. I don't do Christmas (fun loving atheist) so its stupid. I asked for the money to go to one of the charities I support (don't know if this happened) but I sent what I would have spent to same charities. As an adult there is a limit to the amount of "stuff" you need or want. However, I didn't have 2 pre-school age kids.

When little, Christmas was great with grandparents staying for a couple of weeks (months) and lots of bits of things wrapped under the tree. You had to be quick before the cat destroyed it. She would shoot up the trunk and knock all the baubles off and eat the tinsel if you didn't watch her, lots of sparkly cat shit.

When kids are 1 and 4 years old Christmas is the most exciting time of the year, at Christmas time, but summer holidays on the beach are the most exciting time of the year in the summer. No-one could reasonably expect kids this age to be able to make an informed decision as to what they want. They very much live in the here and now and can't understand what is going to happen in 6 months time. A 2 hour car journey elicits so many "are we nearly there yet"s? that what's happening half a year away may just as well be in another geological age.

It would be fair enough to say only buy things for the kids and we will only buy for the other kids in the family to save money and that way the kids get Christmas and you have saved money to put towards the next hols.