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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have changed my mind about letting some people stay in our house while we are away

114 replies

noschoolmumrun · 28/07/2024 12:18

One of the school mums posted on a WhatsApp chat asking if anyone could help put her in laws up while they visited the UK from South Africa. It would be for a week.
Upshot is - I'm not feeling right now that our house is tidy/organised enough to offer to anyone else - let alone people we don't know.
She is coming round to look at our house this afternoon and I think I need to put her off.
I'm struggling a bit mentally with stuff and it's become another worry.

OP posts:
TVRose · 28/07/2024 13:19

Fuck no. For so many reasons. Message her now and say that you’ve changed your mind and cancel the visit. That way it doesn’t look like you cancelled after meeting them.

Yousaidwhatagain · 28/07/2024 13:18

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HuongVuong3 · 28/07/2024 13:17

Tightfishedtwat · 28/07/2024 13:16

Why is she coming to look at the house? To see if it's up to standard?

I wondered that too.

Tightfishedtwat · 28/07/2024 13:16

Why is she coming to look at the house? To see if it's up to standard?

IncompleteSenten · 28/07/2024 13:11

I think yabu. It was a general request on a group chat which you chose to respond to. She didn't even ask you specifically.

Cantrushart · 28/07/2024 13:00

Of course the mature approach would be to just tell her that you'd changed your mind.

Or, you could just stink up the house before she comes for the bloody cheeky inspection.

3CustardCreams · 28/07/2024 12:55

You’re allowed to change your mind. Would they have been paying you? Just say sorry this is not convenient for us anymore. You don’t owe anymore your house to stay in

WhateverMate · 28/07/2024 12:54

Gymnopedie · 28/07/2024 12:52

It's only 31 minutes between OP starting the thread and you posting. Give her chance. (And she doesn't have to come back if she doesn't want to.)

Show quote history

Really? I thought it was life imprisonment if they didn't...

Either way, it's pointless leaving out the crucial part which is when they're supposed to be arriving.

Beautiful3 · 28/07/2024 12:53

Did you offer and now you've changed your mind?

Crystalselfcare · 28/07/2024 12:53

Upshot is - I'm not feeling right now that our house is tidy/organised enough to offer to anyone else - let alone people we don't know

This is a pretty strong valid reason to say no, so why on earth did you say yes?

Also what do you mean she’s coming to look at your house this afternoon? I’m so confused, to see if it’s “good enough” for her in laws or something?

Gymnopedie · 28/07/2024 12:52

WhateverMate · 28/07/2024 12:49

I do hope this isn't another post and run, where the OP leaves out crucial information, and then just buggers off 🙄

It's only 31 minutes between OP starting the thread and you posting. Give her chance. (And she doesn't have to come back if she doesn't want to.)

Cherrysoup · 28/07/2024 12:52

Call and tell her you’ve changed your mind. Why can’t they just stay in a hotel?

WitchyBits · 28/07/2024 12:51

Tell her your home insurance doesn't cover it so it's a no and for gods sake don't ever do it again. What on earth possessed you in the first place?!

Shinyandnew1 · 28/07/2024 12:50

What a mad thing to agree to!

WhateverMate · 28/07/2024 12:49

I do hope this isn't another post and run, where the OP leaves out crucial information, and then just buggers off 🙄

CheeseWisely · 28/07/2024 12:48

Echoing others I think it depends when they're due to arrive as to whether you can back out.

Having family of friends stay in the house is quite common in our circle, possibly because we live in a touristy place where hotels are really expensive and so is property, so many people don't have the space for visitors. I wouldn't mind someone staying in ours if we were away (and all the better if they wouldn't mind feeding and fussing the cat while they're there). Appreciate it's not for everyone though.

LadyWhistled0wn · 28/07/2024 12:47

I'd just lie and say you got the dates wrong and your not away that week. Fuck that why did you say yes to begin with?

Velvetcatfur · 28/07/2024 12:47

BobbyBiscuits · 28/07/2024 12:33

The school mum is a piss taker for asking. Why in god's name can't they sleep in a hotel or air BnB? Or sleep on an airbed in this woman's lounge? They want a whole house, for a week for free. To house people you've never met or even heard of? Definitely make your excuses.
Even if it puts her out, tough. She shouldn't be imposing her in-laws on near strangers.

She isn't a piss taker . She asked she didn't demand. If you want an example of a piss taker look up the Mexican Hose Thief thread / post .

Bellyblueboy · 28/07/2024 12:46

It is crazy that the school mum asked and crazy that you said yes!!!!

I wouldn’t even dream of letting g strangers stay in my home.

is the school mum paying you? Why didn’t she just get an air bnb like a normal person?

very, very, very odd

longapple · 28/07/2024 12:45

Does your insurance cover people you don't know staying when you're not there? I'd say you've realised it doesn't so it's breaking mortgage terms. Perhaps you just changed mortgage provider and it was brought to your attention.

ByCupidStunt · 28/07/2024 12:44

I assume you're potentially being paid so the person coming to look at your house this afternoon hasn't taken you up on your offer yet.

OpizpuHeuvHiyo · 28/07/2024 12:41

If you said yes a while ago then yabu.
If you said recently that you might be able to help and nothing is set in stone yet, it's fine to say "Sorry, I've thought this through properly and realised it won't work for us so I can't actually help"

SoYoung · 28/07/2024 12:40

Contact her now before she arrives, say a major repair has cropped up and it's no longer possible to house guests.

I honestly can't understand why you offered in the first place though. Absolute nightmare.

DreamyCyanFinch · 28/07/2024 12:39

Don't do it.Always extra stress attached to letting someone stay at your place.You don't even know them.Do you have valuables at home?
Something islikely to get broken.
You're not even friends with school mum?

Marinade · 28/07/2024 12:37

Wow, why did you even respond to such an unbelievably forward and cheeky request? I can't comprehend how you could see it as reasonable for another school mum to put up your visiting family that they have never met for a week. How excruciating and awkward. Totally bonkers.

Just say unfortunately it is no longer possible due to unforeseen events that you can't go into at the moment, sorry etc.