Ballerina farm - just fell down a rabbit hole

All that she has, and yet she can’t have pain relief during childbirth.

And she can’t get in her car and drive to the local shop.

It’s the simple things, believe me.

Have you read the articles?

She was pushed into marriage and babies before she wanted them. She was forced to give up her dream. She moved to the middle of nowhere with no access to a car because that's what her husband wanted.

Yes, she comes from that kind of lifestyle but that doesn't mean it's what she wanted for herself. Her dream was to be a dancer.

Do you know them personally to say she is being abused?? She is anything But. She comes from the same type of family!!

Please do some research - she absolutely was forced. The whole scenario is disgusting and nobody on here should be claiming she chose this.

I don't feel sorry for her. She comes from that type of lifestyle. All her siblings produce masses of children. She does have an army of help, she has a huge school set up just for her kids, she is selling her branded, has masses of wealth. You must be very naive if you feel sorry for her.
It's actually quite cringy how she has this weird fixation on her husband though. I do feel sorry for her kids though, left to roam around.

Did you read both articles?

And the whole
insta thing? I strongly believe that she started that as a way to have her own voice, to feel connected to something other than this bizarre life she’s leading where everyone’s needs come first.
Just read the bit where she talks about the birth her DH missed where she could have drugs because he wasn’t there and how amazing that was

She also wanted a holiday to Greece for her birthday - he's a multi-millionaire who's family own an airline - he bought her an apron to hold eggs in.

It's abuse - and the people excusing it because she "chose" this life really ought to take a hard look at the "fundie" lifestyle and the rise of tradwives. It's very, very rare that this is 100% someone's free choice.

Yeah, but the point is you don't know that. You can't say her husband is forcing her. You are not privy to their private lives.
I'm just saying it's not that inconceivable that some woman really enjoy the 'drudgery ' of home life. (And not because they were forced by her husband)
Ion this thread there's already two woman who said they chose it and love it. Me and @Pigeonqueen .
My point is, people make it out as if she is definitely abused or forced because how could she possibly choose this life for herself?
Hey ho, some of us did

And it’s more tragic as ballet dancers have such a short time to excel. If her ambition was to be a writer for example, that could still be done.

read The Times piece in this - from last week.
Where the journo notes that almost everyone she tries to speak for herself, her husband speaks, or her kids interrupts her… where the husband admits that his wife is so exhausted that she sometimes takes to her bed for a week. Where it’s revealed they live in the middle of nowhere because the DH wanted to. Where it’s revealed that despite being millionaires - his family are LOADED - she has no childcare help for 8 kids, yet is still running a full time business as an influencer on Instagram- ( the hours that must go j to that, she does have a team, who she has to manage)
Where she gave up her dreams of being a professional ballerina to become this weird Mormon earth mother, where her needs and wants are always 2nd to her husband.

The most f-d up thing about this for me is - they are very, very wealthy. She does not have to work like a dog to lead this life that she doesn’t seem to particularly enjoy.

She's a caged songbird. Her husband wanted her, and wanted to entrap her, precisely because she had ambitions to do something more.

I think the key thing is choice - is it her choice to want to do this? If so, good luck to her. Not everyone wants the same things. I admit I don’t know much about the backstory though.

Her choice was to become a ballet dancer - she even got accepted into Juillard, but was bullied encouraged to marry earlier than she wanted and to start having a family. She even says herself in her interview that she didn't want to start having babies so soon as she knew it would mean the end of her career.

But her husband pushed it and she ended up not having the choice. It's horrible and certainly not something she chose through her own free will.

I completely agree with you.

I had a very high earning career as a senior marketing manager when my dd was very small (single mum, left her dad when she was 6 months old). I went back to work when she was 6 months and worked for some very big brands -luxury designer names etc. Absolutely hated every single minute of it. That’s not to say everyone would, just for me personally it just felt completely pointless.

Then I met dh and he was happy to be the breadwinner so I stayed home, and I’ve never regretted that decision nearly 20 years on, and one more dc later. I get much more joy and contentment out of being at home and doing stuff for my family than I ever did by working. I will say though that having that high paid job has meant we are mortgage free and don’t have the same financial worries as other families do and for that I am grateful.

I think the key thing is choice - is it her choice to want to do this? If so, good luck to her. Not everyone wants the same things. I admit I don’t know much about the backstory though.

There is a MASSIVE difference between doing things because you want to, and doing things because you know you have to because your husband tells you to.

Objectively speaking, she probably has more fame, success and money than she could ever get through Juilliard. Yes, it's a hugely prestigious school but how many Juilliard graduates do you know by name? They all become highly respected but mostly anonymous people who go on to very niche careers. Professional ballet, similar to modelling, is also apparently a very toxic work environment with huge rates of eating disorders and other issues. Maybe she decided that wasn't for her anyway. It's very easy to glamourise what "could have been" but the route to true success is much harder.

She went on to turn BallerinaFarm into household name and she's known across all industries featured in the NY Times, The Guardian and the Sunday Times. If you were a narcissist looking for attention and success, the influencer route is far better than being the alumni of a famous dance school. Though having said that, she was clearly set up by the Sunday Times in the now viral article. There was absolutely no chance that a British reporter flying in from London wouldn't be conducting the interview with some sort of hidden agenda against tradwives. However they seemed blithely unaware of this and she had several clips being genuinely excited about the interview.

Many former Mormon women have spoken out on Tiktok about their experiences or that of their mothers who had 8+ kids. The entire religion and culture sounds oppressive and it's hard to say how much of it is social brainwashing and how much domestic abuse.

What "beauty" is there in doing a beauty pageant 12 days post-partum, exactly?

The journalist who interviewed them shared a video kind of advertising the article and very heavy hinted that she wasn’t free to say what she wanted and he was hovering over her to check what she was saying.

Oh yes, absolutely agree with you. It's so sad - I honestly think she was doomed to this kind of life from the beginning, unfortunately.

Different perspective here. I would have ended your paragraph with "The whole thing is BEAUTIFUL."

Just because someone is dying doesn't mean they should be relegated to bed until death claims them.

There is beauty in things that are nit the norm, and even if many on here can't imagine having so many children, it's possible to look at her and check the jealous/envious comments.

No, what I’m saying is that she didn’t go into the relationship with a good varied education behind her and having seen her mother and other women go out and work as dancers or whatever. She moved from a stifled childhood into a stifled adulthood (minus a few years of her own in New York). If you or I had somehow dated this man we might not have behaved submissively like she did. She was already at a disadvantage due to her upbringing.

What's drudgery to you isn't to someone else. I'm a SAHM and people are forever asking me, 'dont you find it Soo boring?:.
And normally add some condescending 'ooh I could never do that I need to be stimulated '
Honestly your job as a pa or secretary or solicitor sounds pure drudgery to me. I wouldn't find making photocopies, doing admin, preparing court documents for the umpteenth time, anything but boring.
So just because you like labouring outside of the home, doesn't mean everyone does.
We live on a farm (orangerie) and I cannot tell you the joy I find in picking fresh oranges every morning and juicing them for breakfast.
Making home made lemonade on hot summer days.
I love cooking with the herbs in our back garden with my kids at my feet.
Etc.
I can't think of something more boring than being at the beck and call of your (usually male) boss .
I much prefer making a sandwich for my husband and trying to cook and wear what he likes.
Just because you wouldn't like it doesn't mean it's abuse or a weird culture(not saying you said it's abuse)
(Also obv not all jobs are for a boss and repetitive, but most are)
Btw I'm not trying to single your post out, I just answered on yours.

I’m from a large family. My mum had 6 kids by age 30. It was her choice, but our childhood was chaotic. She did not cope well and struggled with her mental health. She was often depressed and overwhelmed with the demands of parenting and running a household. She and my dad had a traditional marriage and definitely believed in traditional gender roles. My dad was also quite demanding and his needs & wants came before everyone else’s.

So, a lot of the Ballerina Farm stuff seems familiar to me, and not in a good way. The Times article where the husband says she frequently is so ‘exhausted’ she has to take to her bed for a week reminds me of my mum. It wasn’t exhaustion, it was depression. Coming home from school to find mum in bed, mid-afternoon with a ‘headache’ was a regular occurrence.

Like a PP, none of us have large families. One sibling is childless by choice, the rest of us have between 1 and 3 kids each.

She was, but she clearly wanted something different for herself - she went to New York to become a ballet dancer, not to stay home having babies.

I think her husband has used their shared religion to control and abuse her. She may have made the "choice" to have babies and get married but choices made within the confines of a controlling relationship aren't real choices, are they?

The thing is, it’s not just her husband. She was brought up like this too, was homeschooled herself and so on.

Is it homeschooling if you pay someone else to do it? 🤔