To be offended he said this?

You probably should say that. If you havent seen him happy all of your relationship because you got together when he was grieving, it's not exactly ideal. Have you really been happy when he hasn't been?

This isnt great.

I would give yourself a couple of days, and then meet for coffee and go for a walk. You can say that you were surprised about how hurt you felt about him going out with someone when he told you that’s not what he wanted to do, and you need to step back for a bit.

It started off difficult and now how become complicated in a very short time.

I would be stepping back to sort my own feelings out. Maybe go out for a drink or 6 and have a little joy in your life too.

He’s drunk, OP. She didn’t cure his depression or bring him genuine happiness, she just bought him alcohol that impaired his cognitive function for a few hours.

If drinking actually cured sadness or grief or mental health issues then we wouldn’t have alcoholics in the world… alcoholism exists because as soon as the alcohol that temporarily deadens everything wears off all the bad feelings come rushing back (usually plus interest), and people are worse off than they started. Then they drink again and again and again trying to bring back that temporary relief.

Regardless, it’s absolutely not your job to fix his grief or depression - it wasn’t as a friend and it isn’t as his girlfriend. What he needs is for his friends and girlfriends to be supportive of his process as he works through it. If you’re taking it on yourself to make helping him your goal, this probably isn’t a healthy relationship.

It’s not your job to help him ‘work’ to feel happier. That’s his job. Of course be supportive but not to the extent it dominates your life,
It could be a case for the two of you if wrong time. Maybe that’s exactly the message you should send? Or at least talk to him and explain what you have said in the text.
at the start of a relationship it should be fun, easy and not a strain.

I’m a bit 🤔at some of these responses. Ten months after my adored dad died I wasn’t so depressed that I couldn’t function normally, and I certainly wouldn’t have gone out getting smashed as a form of therapy with an opposite-sex mate after repeatedly telling my partner I wasn’t up for drinking.

OP I do think your boyfriend has behaved quite poorly and it’s drawing a rather long bow to make it all about his dad’s passing. If the relationship is otherwise very good I would give it a couple more days cooling-down period before raising why he went out drinking with a mate after telling you to avoid all mention, and that you found it a bit insensitive for him to call you drunk and raving about what an amazing time he was having with someone else.

If he can discuss it reasonably then, all good. If he brings it up himself without needing to be prompted, even better. But if he brushes off your feelings, I’d certainly be stepping away myself.

I'd just ditch him, to be honest. Sounds like you are doing a lot, receiving little and are unhappy with what you are receiving - why not move on and find someone that suits better?

And you're nobody's comfort blanket or counsellor, you've given him plenty of time to cry on your shoulder. If you've had enough, that's fine.

Agree. Go gently here 10 months after such a loss is really no time atall. When you see him you could ask why the change of heart to suddenly start drinking again but texts while your upset isn't a great idea. I can see why your upset but he still needs some tlc. If your happy otherwise and prepared to wait it out it may all settle for you both.

He felt happy because he was drunk and the things that normally bother him faded away.
I don't think it's more complicated than that.
She hasn't fixed things for him, he was just drunk.
You don't need to 'cheer him up' btw, that can't be your job.

But he’s not truly happy again - he’s just drunk… I know how much it would hurt for him to say what he has but don’t say anything else by text. Your current message makes it clear how unhappy you are and that you want to end it. See what he comes back with when sober and have a face to face conversation

Don't do this. Don't do anything until you've heard what he has to say. And maybe explore why you're feeling like this about a friend.

If he has only lost his dad 10 months ago ,he is still grieving. His heads all over the place .maybe as you are getting closer he doesn't want to get drunk with you .but sometimes someone less close may feel easier. It took me years rather than months to come to terms with my mum dying. In that time I wasn't myself and acted out of character. Just carry ion as.you were .don't take it personally

I voted YABU (although it seems I'm in the minority) because he's lost his dad only 10 months ago and now he's finally able to be in a place where he can actually enjoy a night out and you're upset he's had a good time. You've helped him through all the grief, he's not going to forget that-plus he couldn't wait to call you and tell you how much fun he's having. Because he wanted to share that with you. If the friend is no threat to you I'd just let it go and be happy for him that's he's finally in a place he can enjoy things again.

Sometimes we just need to do something different to take us out of ourselves and one person does not provide everything the other person needs all the time. He's been insensitive about how he's phrased things but that's all based on what you've said so far.

Life is not meant to be this complicated, shouldn't a relationship be beneficial to both people? I say this as something to think about but this could be you speaking about having a dog, you seem to think you have ticked the boxes of what to do so now expect a lost of things in response

People are not like that, if you genuinely need this then I don't think he will Gove you want you want

It's the sort of thing I'd be annoyed about and dwell on but I assume he's just said what's popped into his head and hasn't thought about what you might hear as the subtext.
I guess your relationship grew out of his grief and now it needs to move on ,I would have a chat about this and if you are stuck in certain roles with each other.