To be offended he said this?

Agree with this OP.

Maybe now he’s actually been out you two can start going out ? Like he’s ripped of the bandage. Try see a possible positive in it. Maybe he needed a night out even if he thought he didn’t. Or it might have done him good to get out with someone else and even though it’s harsh but just to socialise with someone else. Obviously as long as that’s all it was, you said she wasn’t a threat.

Ask him how he feels this morning and if you do like him I wouldn’t be too mad at this, I’d just see it for what it is

Oh this with bloody bells on!

Perfectly said 👏

Considering how the relationship started, I think its safe to say that he sees you as a support human being for him, and not someone to have fun with. That's a tough dynamic to break out of.

Do you do anything for fun together?

OP isn't his wife. She is a newish girlfriend from a longer standing friendship.
He has told her that he does not want to go out drinking, and that she should not suggest it - then he goes out with another woman, gets drunk and tells OP how wonderful it was.
Absolute slap in the face. OP has become the comfort blanket, the one to come home to. She did not choose that, and is quite rightly annoyed at it.

This relationship is doomed, I'd get out now.

Women love a project and the chance to heal an nurture a poor broken man, the feeling of being needed is seemingly unmatched.

You will spend eternity in this dynamic, everything wrong will relate back to his grief, until he's healed and he has the strength to find someone else that isn't linked to his grief. Seen this happen so many times with bereaved people unfortunately.

Definitely agree with this. I too would be miffed at his behaviour and I would be questioning whether we were right together if one drunken night out with some other female friend meant so much more than all the time effort and effort I’d put into trying to make him happy

Either you love him and want to support him as a partner or you don't. This reads very clearly that you don't. Let him free.

Drunk does not = truly happy.

He's been grieving. He hasn't felt sociable. Now he did, once. He's let his hair down, feels a bit better temporarily and told you he's happy. And you are contemplating ending your relationship over this.

See how he feels hungover. See how he is once he's recovered. See if there's any real change, or if it's one step towards him starting to move on. And then decide how you feel.

You can end a relationship for any reason you like, but "he said he was happy once while he was drunk after losing his dad 10 months ago" won't reflect well on you. And you will probably regret ending it for that reason in the future, if it really is a good relationship.

I’d cut him some slack. You’re upset by it clearly - so I would go about your day today and then speak to him in person if it still upsets you. You’ve invested a lot of time into him - you are allowed to be upset but your wording it’s really poor and seems jealous.

Where did the OP say he stopped her from going out drinking with mates? She just said he didn't want her to suggest they go out for drinks together-that's how I read it anyway.

This feels a little pathetic, if I'm honest.
Making him happy isn't a competition.
He had also been drinking, people say that sort of stuff when they're drunk.

I guarantee you wouldn't have felt this way if it had been a male friend that had made him 'drunk happy'.
Just female competitiveness.

I see your point and think you’re right.

Going against the grain here but isn’t this just a standard thing for drunk people to say? I wouldn’t take it to mean he’s actually had the best night ever. It’s just drunken enthusiasm. If you’re otherwise happy in the relationship, I would just say what you’ve said here and have a conversation about it all. I’d bet he’d be mortified to think he’s made you feel like this with a brief drunken phone call.

This makes total sense
OP - he isn't suddenly cured of his grief, he's just had a great night out, and wanted to share it with you.

I agree with every well thought out word.

I would be incredibly pissed off by him stopping me having any fun with a few drinks, then at the first opportunity he does exactly that, plus puts the boot in telling her he’d had the best night ever with another woman.

Definitely don't do that. Just withdraw quietly and gracefully.

It sounds like he's capable of standing on his own two feet now.
.

I don't think he did it intentionally though.

I was going through a very difficult time when I began seeing my ex husband. Looking back, it was a very unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship, but neither of us realised it at the time. I needed someone and he needed to he needed. Much like the OPs situation in reverse. We'd been friends (with no hint of attraction) for years beforehand (since school) and the whole thing was a car crash from the start but neither of us could see it.

I'd imagine this situation is similar.

I'd send the text. You don't have to be the reasonable, forgiving one. If he's hurt you by what he's said, let him know.

I am going to go in a slightly different direction here, and ask… OP, do you quite like being his emotional support person? Lots of people here have suggested that he is using you etc, but I know very well that there are some people out there who really feel valued when someone is relying on them 100%, and get uncomfortable when that person starts to move away and need their support less.

I can see why you're annoyed. I would be too, in the moment. It feels like a slap in the face.

But, I think the best course of action is to say nothing and calm down, tempting as it is to have it out right now.

This isn't about you or your relationship. He's had an expected night out and forgotten his problems, but today he will feel like shit because that's what alcohol does.

It might have done him so good in the sense it's reminded him he can have fun and enjoy socialising again.

But it was just a distraction, that's all. If he'd got that drunk with you he might have ended up sobbing because he trusts you.

This situation aside, your relationship does sound very hard work for something so new. Does he see a therapist or go to a support group? I would be wary of being his sole support system and chief happiness provider.

He needs to work through his grief himself, and you need to be his girlfriend first and foremost.

I'm trying to copy Honestyiskind's messages because I agree with them, but they are not copying.
You have shown kindness and consideration to your friend, and in return have become 'the bad time friend' - the one with whom to share the bad times and the tears, while a night out with another friend has been great fun and let them feel good. (The euphoria will not last, grief does not work like that)
It's upsetting for you to hear his comments, and he has shown you your role in his life.
I would leave, it's a poor thanks for supporting him thus far.

Agree

I agree - but don’t send the text as he can use this against you. Just meet up and have an honest chat. This isn’t working, you’ll still be there if he needs a friend etc.

You’ve been missing out on fun because of him, so of course it’s hurtful. He sounds self-obsessed. You are better off leaving him and finding someone who adores you, cares whether you had a good night out and doesn’t treat you like a free therapist and PA.