I would swap with her in an instant

Are you sure people were not just crossing the street anyway? I have never seen anyone cross the street to walk near a beautiful woman. I think you may have over egged this in your head.

You want random male strangers to beam at you in the street and cross the road to walk closer to you?! Why on earth would you want that? I mean men (and women) hold doors open for anyone but I wouldn't want all the other stuff.
I have two friends who are particularly beautiful and I don't envy their lives at all. They get attention and comments wherever they go. They can be dressed in a hoody and jogging bottoms and be at the supermarket and they still get men hassling them. You seriously think this is a good thing?
And that type of beauty is temporary anyway. Both my friends are approaching 50 now. Still very beautiful in my opinion but men are losing interest. I think my friends are relieved and very much enjoying the invisibility.

Of course YABU as you have been told unanimously.

If this is in any way real, I think you've got some serious self-esteem issues that you need to work on, and you could probably do with a healthy dose of empathy too. Imagine looking at someone weeping over their job loss and feeling envy at how pretty they are.

Is that mad? That I would swap with her in an instant, even to be jobless and at risk of losing my flat, just to feel visible?
I'm sure men don't feel this way.

Most women don’t feel that way either.

You gave yourself and your sexism away with your very first line, insulting us all even before going on to demonstrate exactly why you do indeed deserve exactly what's coming.

It's just incredible that you could have written this and still think it's women who are shallow. I'd explain why, but what's the point?

Date whomever you like, that's your business. But God save us from "I judged women on looks and grooming habits, it didn't work out, wow aren't women shallow" men who think that will be a revelation to us.

She is more likely to get a job and when she does people will praise what she does much more than they praise people who look like me.

Her looks didn't save her from being sacked did they? Her looks are not going to save her from losing her flat if she cannot pay the rent, plus she told you she struggles with her self esteem despite her looks.

Other posters have pointed out the many ways in which being a pretty young woman is not all sunshine and many times it can actually be a curse.

You're being ridiculous. I was reasonably attractive when I was younger, but by no means model material. I could always find a hottie to date, but I always thought it was because I was pretty smart and good fun, not because I was a cute blond with big tits! Anyway, I'm old and fat and plain now, and my brains and personality took me a lot further than my looks ever did, I am quite sure you are the same. Yes, it would be fun to look like a supermodel for a week or two, but there is a price to be paid for that kind of beauty too, in short, most people lose it. And anyone who is just with you because of your looks, usually isn't worth your time. You should be grateful for what you have, because it sounds pretty good to me.

But she got that job in the first place.

it would be interesting to see who the other candidates were that she beat to land the role.

I work extremely hard at my gig type job. I am more than capable of rising through the ranks and probably understand better than most what is needed to be done beyond what is written down on the paperwork

However at 60+ and definitely not someone with good bone structure I know I am never even going to get a supervisor role because as the people they promote are all good looking and young and judging by what I am asked lack a basic understanding of the role

Management want a certain look rather than the job done to a higher level. Then they get angry because the company is losing money and the reviews are something someone with an iota of understanding of the business could tell them what to change

Having read your post again. It sounds like you aren’t happy being single and crave that male validation.

If you’re happy with everything else in your life but would like a partner, perhaps make that a priority?

I know it’s easier said than done as I’m also single, but it sounds you need to at least give it a go and kiss a few frogs and maybe even find someone you really like. If nothing else, it might make you happier and more confident in your single status and realise male attention isn’t the be-all, end-all.

I recently went to an event with a work friend. I look in a certain way that generally considered attractive in society. She’s more of a tomboy and comfortable in her skin, in a loving marriage. As the evening progressed, all kinds of not-so-interesting men proceeded to chat me up, try to get my number, mark upon how they were recently divorced etc. On the journey back she asked: ‘Jesus, is it like that everywhere you go? How do you have the patience for this? I would have just told them all to bugger off’

It really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

You're allowed to have whatever rules you want, but judging women on whether they do or do not apply make up or the fact they enjoy dancing is very, very shallow of you.

I don't wear make up (hey, do I tick one of your boxes? Yay me!), and I prefer staying in (oh joy, another box ticked) but I do also enjoy dancing and on occasion have raised my voice in an argument. Does that mean I'm struck off your list forever (please, God, say yes)???

Try getting to know a person as a whole rather than judging them on very superficial things.

Well her looks haven’t done her much to get her much respect or humanity from you, have they? There was a person crying their heart out to you, telling you their life was falling apart and all you could think about was how pretty she was?

That’s not a life I would want, being ignored and undervalued by those I trust with my deepest emotions and fears, being objectified and reduced to skin and bones in my most vulnerable moments by someone I’m confiding in. Having my entire being simplified, patronised and made into a commodity to be jealous of instead of being seen for who I am. No offer of help, only jealousy.

I don’t want to be either of you.

Why do people assume because people are attractive they cant be intelligent. Many are both.

Attractive isn’t the same as beautiful, most people are attractive, most aren’t beautiful. But yes beautiful people can be intelligent.

Everyone can type these days, but I disagree with you anyway. Beautiful people are treated better, are more successful in life and that is scientifically proven.

This is exactly what I wanted to say. It is possible to be both. A lot of posters seem unable to comprehend that, possibly to make themselves feel superior to the beautiful airheads of the world who are nothing but a trophy

Why do people assume because people are attractive they cant be intelligent. Many are both.

Some men are attracted to brains. Some men don't care that the outer packaging isn't a supermodel, because what they want is a partner.

PhDs don't have to marry PhDs, models don't have to marry models. People want, or actually crave, balance in their lives. I'm academic, I work in business improvement, I spend a lot of my day looking at numbers, spreadsheets, etc and talking to very intelligent people about numbers, spreadsheets, analysis. The last thing I want is more of the same at home.

My DH is a very smart man, but it's a different smart to me. He gives me something I can't get from people the same as me. I give him things he can't get from people the same as him. And we both love the whole person, not just the outer wrapping.

Maybe the "scruffy academic" loves the pretty girl for the whole person and the fact the packaging is pretty is just a bonus. Maybe they wouldn't look twice at the female PhDs working with them because they won't give them the balance most people are looking for in a partner.

She is more likely to get a job and when she does people will praise what she does much more than they praise people who look like me.

If that was true she wouldn’t have been fired.

I don't know...that's happened to me and I'm not even beautiful.

If a woman takes 30 minutes to 'put on makeup' or won't leave the house without war paint. If they can't discuss things without shrieking if we have different views, if they don't laugh, if you can't imagine them putting others first, if they are more interested in dancing than a cosy night in and if they can't admit to making mistakes ever, then it's a no go war zone. I guess I am pleased I went out with one of those types because I know what the warning signs are now

I know women who arent beautiful who do this. I also know women who are beautiful and are highly intelligent, socially skilled, have a great sense of humour and modest.

You are being silly to assume its only "beautiful" women who do this and it comes across as being somewhat bitter by categorising all women who are attractive as "one of those types".

Lol academia is full of insecure men who believe they are geniuses so it’s of absolutely no surprise that one of them would pick beauty over brains. Also a lot of female PhD students wouldn’t touch academic men with a barge pole precisely because of the insecurity and narcissistic tendencies a lot of them have, where they have to be the “clever” one in the relationship. Also for anyone who wants an affluent lifestyle, academia doesn’t pay that well and many women marry men in more lucrative careers or stay single. There are exceptions obviously but I doubt there were hordes of disappointed female PhD students when he married ABBA lady.

I think we need pictures of this out of this world stunning woman 🙈 Men crossing the road to walk near her is quite creepy.

I wouldn’t say being stunning fixes everything, she might not end up ok at all. Start with Marilyn Monroe and work your way up through the decades of gorgeous women living seriously complex lives. From my own circle, one of the prettiest women was once in the kitchen at a party surrounded by 10 people telling her to move that knife away from her wrists. Another has 3 kids with 3 partners and now lives with her parents. Good looks being your defining characteristic can really mess with your MH/ the kind of people you attract.

Oh and also. It may be harder to move up the career ladder if you’re really hot. People will let you in the door but many will think you’re just there because you’re cute, you need to work harder to show you know your stuff. If you make serious mistakes, like she did, you will be let go, like she was. How many FTSE100 board members or government ministers look like her?

You need to work on your confidence and self-belief, sometimes that just comes naturally with life experience.

’Attractive’ isn’t just a set of physical parameters society at the time approves of, it’s how you present yourself to the world.

Most of your issues with this beautiful woman (the fact that you’ve called her a teenager is very concerning and says a lot more about you than her…) are nothing to do with her looks. You chose her because of her looks and then complain that she takes care of herself (taking half an hour to get ready is not a long time at all) and if she didn’t laugh… maybe you’re not as funny as you think you are. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to go out dancing (particularly if you were dating a teenager…).

You say that they “acted like a child” but I’d be interested to know how old they were and how much older you were… If you date much younger women to make yourself feel good, they probably won’t be interested in having children and may not be that mature yet.

I'm presuming this isn't real, but if it is then the OP shows some seriously sociopathic tendencies

I understand where you are coming from. I think this is a case of appreciating something that you don’t have and can’t get however hard you try. I don’t think I’d go as far to swap everything to be beautiful and I think you’re assuming you retain your intellect and drive which this other woman clearly lacks.