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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To still be angry at my parents for this?

206 replies

ThatPeachSnake · 27/07/2024 20:44

I had a horrific childhood. My parents were terribly unhappy together and got divorced when I was young. My dad lost all our money and we were poor. This spiralled, long divorce and my mum having horrific mental health issues, which was all taken out on me.

I did well and school and went to uni. I was a good child and did everything ‘by the book’. I never got in trouble or was any trouble to my parents - they often tell me that. In comparison to my sister, who is into drugs, doesn’t work and still lives at home.

when I finished uni, I had planned to get a job straight away in my career field, which was harder than I had realised. It took me about 6 months - but in the meantime, I got myself a job in a supermarket and stayed in my uni town in cheap accommodation until I could move on.

about 4 months in, I was asked to leave my accommodation. I had not signed a contract and it was a friend of a friends place (which obviously was a stupid move from me!). Essentially, I was made homeless overnight. Since I had no ties to my uni town, I reached out to my parents and asked either of them if I could come home and stay with them for a bit whilst I got my real job. I had no intention of staying there and they knew that. I was fiercely determined to move to London. However, in the meantime, I would have paid rent and got a job in my hometown to support myself whilst I was looking for my ‘career’ job. I was just scared and had no where to live and needed my parents. I sobbed down the phone to them for days begging for them to have me.

both said no and I‘m not really sure why. I was homeless and sofa surfing for the next few months until I was offered a job in London.

since then, I have done well for myself and have kind of brushed over the fact my parents did that. I could never ever do that to my child. After all this time, it is difficult to bring up to ask them why. I’m just so angry looking back at it. AIBU?

OP posts:
Frazzledmummy123 · 27/07/2024 20:48

Definitely not. I'm surprised you want anything to do with them to be honest. They were cruel and nasty to do that, you are their child.

kitchendiscotime · 27/07/2024 20:48

YANBU at all, that's absolutely shocking. I would not be able to forgive them and I probably would have cut them out of my life.

Have you ever spoken to a therapist? It must be so hard to put your experiences behind you. Perhaps talking to someone would help?

Justmuddlingalong · 27/07/2024 20:48

Remember that feeling, when you're expected to be the dependable child as they age.

ThatPeachSnake · 27/07/2024 20:47

Mountainclimber50 · 27/07/2024 20:46

Did they help you financially?

No they did not.

OP posts:
Bigearringsbigsmile · 27/07/2024 20:47

Yanbu
Home will always be home for my children regardless of how old they are
I have adult children and I cannot fathom doing this to them

Mountainclimber50 · 27/07/2024 20:46

Did they help you financially?