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Original poster

To be irritated at MIL saying “it’s your favourite person” to LO

78 replies

Fizzyducklings · 27/07/2024 20:28

Just that really. I’d love to hear from MILs, is this something you would innocently say to your GC without meaning anything by it? Or would you be more self-aware that maybe it’s not appropriate or necessary to refer to oneself as the child’s favourite?

YABU - it’s an innocent comment
YANBU - it's not appropriate/necessary

OP posts:
NewDogOwner · 28/07/2024 08:19

It's their inelegant way of saying they love your child so much that they want to be their favourite person. Can you try to reframe it that way in your head?

Okayornot · 28/07/2024 08:06

I couldn't get upset about this.

It's lovely when children have a close relationship with Granny. As your baby's mother you will inevitably be his/ her actual favourite person. Who cares what label granny gives herself?

Dancingmonkeyfeet · 27/07/2024 23:39

It could be a micro aggression
It could be you being jealous and possessive
It could be her having a laugh and winding you up
It could be her doing MK ULTRA our baby.

What ever the reason is -your letting it get under you skin.

My ex mil is an arse hole and it got to the point everything she did bothered me. And I realise now I gave her too much power. Spent too long letting her live in my head and I lost perspective.

In this instance OP you know she is never going to be your babies favourite person - so letting this get under your skin is pointless.

I think you need to start avoiding spending time with your mil - let her see baby when your not around,

When my dds have babies I will totally say shit like this to wind them up 😁

Sunshine9218 · 27/07/2024 23:25

If it were true your lo would be the one saying it! Your mil is just being silly and funny

saraclara · 27/07/2024 22:49

It's not what a nice person would say.

Oh give over @Fizzyducklings . In the vast majority of cases, that kind of humorous tease comes from a place of warmth and love.

CharlotteLucas3 · 27/07/2024 22:29

If there’s a back story of her being a bit of a cow then I think you’re right that she’s trying to annoy you and get a reaction. And if she’s anything like my mum, if you question her about anything she’ll say you’re being over-sensitive and paranoid. You’re already wondering if you’re paranoid..

SeeSeeRider · 27/07/2024 22:14

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 27/07/2024 22:03

I'm going to hazard a guess that this is your first baby? Because in my humble experience after more than one child I couldn't GAF about stuff like this...

Likewise. With knobs on.

FacingTheWall · 27/07/2024 22:09

It can be innocent and perfectly normal chat, but it depends on who the audience is. My mum has a thing with my kids from when they were small where she’ll say “Best girl/boy!” and they reply “Best Grandma!” all of them knowing that they don’t actually have a favourite grandma.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 27/07/2024 22:03

I'm going to hazard a guess that this is your first baby? Because in my humble experience after more than one child I couldn't GAF about stuff like this...

PizzaFecker · 27/07/2024 22:03

Christ

SeeSeeRider · 27/07/2024 22:01

Funny thing, my mother says it to my Bengal cat, who runs to sit on her lap when she comes over.

MonsteraMama · 27/07/2024 21:55

My sister used to burst in going "here's your favourite human!" to my daughter every time she visited. It's just a silly thing people say. My daughter did (and still does) adore her to be fair.

So in isolation, no, I don't think this comment is a big deal. But it's obviously not in isolation and has obviously been muddied by some overstepping on your MIL's part in the past. Context is important.

jannier · 27/07/2024 21:55

Fizzyducklings · 27/07/2024 20:32

@FunIsland there is a long backstory, so I think I do read into every little thing now as a result.

How did I know there's a back story and you don't like her?

SargeantSaltandPepper · 27/07/2024 21:51

Impossible to say without context. If she is generally a petty competitive person then yes it would grate. If clearly a joke then it wouldn't.

Mumoftwo1316 · 27/07/2024 21:48

Moier · 27/07/2024 21:29

Well my eldest teenage Grandsons say to me often. " Granny you are my favourite ever person ".
I get cards and gifts with the same on

Completely different to you declaring to your grandchildren that you're their favourite person.

BreatheAndFocus · 27/07/2024 21:44

YANBU. It’s a strangely competitive thing to say. It’s not as if she said, “You’re my favourite person”, it’s the fact she’s twisting that and saying that your DC thinks she’s his favourite person. There’s a big difference.

I can’t think of any clever response except a snappy one, so maybe you could just do some subtle eye-rolling when she says this. I can’t imagine saying anything like that to a close relative’s baby.

Moier · 27/07/2024 21:29

Well my eldest teenage Grandsons say to me often. " Granny you are my favourite ever person ".
I get cards and gifts with the same on

itsmylife7 · 27/07/2024 21:19

A Grandchild is a very very special gift.

I've called my lot...Grannies babies, Grannies special girl/boy
all have special little individual nicknames that only I call them.

They still remember this even though they are much older now.

It's just something special between us all but their Mums are the most important person to them all.

Don't take it personally OP .

LittleBitAlexisLaLaLaLaLa · 27/07/2024 21:12

Rightly or wrongly, I’m going to assume your MIL pisses you off in general and this is another example of that. Either way, I’d ignore it. You are your child’s mother, your baby’s “favourite person” can’t take that away from you.

Original poster
Fizzyducklings · 27/07/2024 21:10

Ponkpinkpink15 · 27/07/2024 21:04

@Fizzyducklings It's not what a nice person would say.

I sense trying to get one up on you is her prime motivation

not knowing the back story oits hard to say what I'd say but something like 'No. Don't be so silly battle axe Grandma, daddy/neighbour/grandad is DC's favourite person. Silly Grandma'

Yes it’s really interesting because this is what my gut tells me. But equally I understand that others might make or view this comment more innocently - I suppose context and the type of relationship/people involved are key

OP posts:
Original poster
Fizzyducklings · 27/07/2024 21:08

CatamaranViper · 27/07/2024 21:02

My MIL always says this to DS (he's 7) and when he was about 6 she said it and he looked at me and winked (very theatrically) and said "oh yes nana"

Ahh your DS sounds very sweet

OP posts:
Original poster
Fizzyducklings · 27/07/2024 21:07

@Charlieiscool it’s not that I’m insecure about it, I just don’t have the patience anymore given the many overstepping and undermining incidents. But now it’s like any little thing irks me hence why I’ve asked about this

OP posts:
Ponkpinkpink15 · 27/07/2024 21:04

@Fizzyducklings It's not what a nice person would say.

I sense trying to get one up on you is her prime motivation

not knowing the back story oits hard to say what I'd say but something like 'No. Don't be so silly battle axe Grandma, daddy/neighbour/grandad is DC's favourite person. Silly Grandma'

CatamaranViper · 27/07/2024 21:02

My MIL always says this to DS (he's 7) and when he was about 6 she said it and he looked at me and winked (very theatrically) and said "oh yes nana"

Charlieiscool · 27/07/2024 20:58

Why are you so insecure that this threatens you?

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