I love my children but I hate weekends with them

I completely agree, I was a 90s kid and the best memories I have are the walks and going to the park. We went to the zoo and other days out but I don’t have a sense of nostalgia or as good vivid memories with them. There’s so much pressure on parents nowadays to entertain their kids otherwise they are going to end up not as intelligent, introverted etc. Load of nonsense IMO.

Why did you have children if you don't want to spend time with them?

I used to hang out with other mum friends with compatible children who liked similar things/ were at a similar stage/ didn't fight with my DC at that age. In some cases we were mutually using each other for some adult company and conversation and the friendships didn't endure once the kids were older but that's ok too!

Horrid age OP. It will get better. In 3 years time you will be enjoying your family, almost guaranteed.

@boatonapond are you with them all week as well or do you work? Is your partner around at weekends?

I do hear you to a degree although I generally don’t struggle in late spring/summer/early autumn. We are outside from dawn until dusk with my same aged DC and we all generally have a good time. Of course there is the odd tantrum or poo explosion but I’m at my happiest outside with my DH even if that’s just a kid’s play area or the local woods.

But I am really dreading solo winter weekends this year as their needs are so diametrically opposed. When we are inside it seems someone is always crying! I think it’ll be a case of divide and conquer over winter this year which is a bit sad.

Think of me stuck with a 1 and 3 year old alone during lockdown! It’s hard work. The best times are if you can find a friend with similar aged kids and let them play outside whilst you have some adult chats.

This is a really tough combination of ages. I suggest lots o play dates! meeting with other mums always makes the day more fun. Also, bus and train rides maybe? if these are accessible to you? Sometimes the ride is more important than the destination. How close are you to a beach? Cheap and fun, if not too long a journey, but again, the journey is more fun with another mum. I used to take my 3 year old to visit road works.....

I had a similar age gap. We used to try and get out at least one of the weekend days. Either park, beach, long walk etc.

We would often have pj days - stay in our comfies, I would make a big platter of snacks to pick at throughout the day. Then we would play, draw, read stories, watch TV.

As they got older we did more exciting days out but when they were little even a 'fun' bath would bring excitement!

Another thing we did was go to car boots or charity shops, I would take £5-10 and let them choose new toys/books/dvds. Once they got bored I would sell on facebook usually for same price or more. Free or cheap facebook groups were also good for picking up bargains! We always had lots of toys to keep them busy and to suit their changing needs and interests.

I have, of late, adopted the mindset of my parents back in the 90s. Parents back then didn’t feel this kind of responsibility to keep their kids entertained. If there were toys and books lying around, they’d done their job as far as that was concerned. Trips to zoos and theme parks etc happened a few times a year as a treat. Otherwise we just joined whatever they were doing, pub gardens, visiting friends, dog walks, errands.

Maybe my kids will judge me when they grow up and had less visits to Longleat than their friends, but I feel much happier having freed myself from the toxic guilt and that should in turn improve the mood of the house.

Those ages are really hard work. Short attention spans, constant vigilance :-/ mine were that age during lockdown (shudders)

I do think getting out for as long as possible helps. The car time is also easy time so you might as well explore a larger area (I realised with surprise when my youngest was about 2.5 that I was no longer dreading getting home from a car trip)

It's ok not to enjoy it. For me the 1-2 year phase was a necessary thing to endure to have older kids (they are lovely now).

Write yourself a daily schedule for example....

Breakfast

Outing to the park

Home for nap

Lunch

Play dough

TV & cuddles

Dinner

Bath

Bed

It will get easier as they get older. Mine are 3 and 4 now and I really love the weekends. I always try to hsbe outdoor time, an activity like messy play/fine motor activity, drawing/painting, TV hour and get them involved in cooking meals.
I definitely think going out helps me enjoy the weekends way more rather than being stuck inside.

It'll get better as they get older.

It’s probably their ages.

It is incredibly dull. I can’t wait until mine get older.

I think YABU unless ifs the depths of winter - plenty of things to do in the summer with that age range, even with low income. Trips to the park can be stung out with a picnic for example. Walks out and about and of course Trips to attractions/ farms etc if you can afford it.
Winter can be more challenging if I'm honest and more expensive to do indoor things. I think it just takes a little bit of planning. If like me you work full time, it's about doing a little research/planning in an evening or lunch break to look at things to do at the weekends.
I always find occupied children are happier and better behaved, when stuck in/bored it's such a drag so I spend as much time as possible outside (even in winter!) For the sake of everyone's sanity...

Can you love someone if you hate spending time with them?

You don't need to do anything in particular. Stay in and just let them play or go to a park or something.

That's why weekends are nice compared to week days because you don't have to do anything or go anywhere if you don't have to.