I love my children but I hate weekends with them

I have done the same. Kids are being activated and entertained far too much. We don’t even have that many toys. They just play endlessly with chairs, sofa cushions, blankets or other things they find in our house. They are very creative and imaginative with fewer things and less entertainment. They can also spend hours at the park on the climbing frames and playing with friends

Children don’t need to be entertained 24/7. They should be amusing themselves some of the time.

Because my son, 16 months, has nothing like the finger dexterity to pick strawberries, let alone the mental faculties to understand the task, and nothing like the self control not to instantly smear them onto his clothing or put them in his mouth. It’s one of those laughable suggestions like when I saw a poster suggest somebody put their 3 month old baby on the swing at the park.

So true! I'm 90's kid too and my mom was SAHM when we were really small and I just remember park, little library trips, playgroups. My parents had no money really but I had a really happy childhood. My mom still worries about not being able to provide more for us when we were smaller, no matter how often we've told how happy/contented we all were. Try and find the fun in the small stuff OP, it's what they will remember (more the 3yo, granted haha)

You're suggesting OP doesn't love her kids? 🙄

I am way beyond this stage (mine are 16 and 14!) but I remember the 3 and 1 year old stages as really hard so I think people who have children just a few years older than yours telling you how easy they find it have blocked it all out, had easy, sleepy, content babies or are being disingenuous. For what it's worth I found 3 and 1 to be THE hardest time for me as a parent (well maybe until teen anyway) so just hang in there and for me anyway it got much easier in a year or so.

I’m with you OP. I love my DCs beyond measure but that age was tough, and yes, dull.

Only thing I can suggest is do you have a zoo or similar nearby which does annual membership? That was good for us as it meant we could just pop in for a couple of hours, no pressure to stay the whole day or see everything, and sometimes we’d just go to use their (big) playground and have a coffee.

What’s wrong with a non walking baby at strawberry picking though? It’s fine to do things your 3 year old enjoys that aren’t always appropriate for a 1 year old.
1 year old can stay at home with DH, or you can go around chatting with 3 year old and DH can carry 1 year old so they can see everything too.
It does seem like you immediately just want to moan about all suggestions, free things are boring, park is boring, library is boring, but farm is too expensive, baby can’t walk so can’t do X,Y or Z etc. At some point you just need to accept they are different ages and make the best of it.

That stuff is ok but costs money. If you are skint then the options are a lot less.

Only so many times you can go to the bloody park without being bored out of your brain. Especially if you are on your own with them and no adult company

Are there any local farms etc which you can join? Ours is £50 a year fir weekdays only, which gives you something to do with them during the week. Under 2's are often free so only need to pay for 2 passes, works out at £2 a week for you and the little ones

I get that worst of both worlds age with the youngest one. My DC2 was a late walker and there came a point where they were no longer a portable baby but we felt we were just waiting for them to walk before we could go on a decent day out.

HOWEVER I will say my son has turned me from a selfish wee bitch into a slightly less selfish wee bitch, so that’s a huge step forward.

Can your DH pick up the little one while your’e in pain? Is he not there at weekends ? I was a sahm for a few years so it wasn’t t just weekends and maybe that’s it as I was used to it. You’re probably feeling the change of pace more keenly. I used to meet up with friends that had similar age chn and that would help for more conversation. We’d take turns going to each others’ homes or meet at a park or play area.

@boatonapond solidarity: ignore all the perfect parents on the thread. Small children can be entertaining (very fleetingly) but they’re mostly really, really dull and hard work, IMHO. God love them.

kids are kind of like trainees in professional services - takes a while for them actually to become profitable and start “paying into the business” (the family being the business in this analogy). You take a hit and input into them until they do.

Where we live is a farm/children s attraction.Complete with ride on junior tractors ,Hay bales with tunnels ,a lovely tea room possibly similar near you . Not too expensive ,and a season ticket as well.Good value all round and fun in winter too.Can the 3 year old maybe go to Gymnastics/Dancing /Swimming maybe ?

When was the last time you got out with friends away from the kids and house? Rather than focusing on the kids maybe have a look at planning some stuff for you? ( so you can escape?)

Sundays was always our carboot and chill days. I still don’t plan stuff on Sunday.

At those ages, I had annual zoo passes - would that or a farm membership be an option? It is an expensive initial outlay but great value over the year and open all year round (it used to annoy me too that so much for preschoolers stopped in the hols). We are/were very lucky that it was only a 5 mins drive away, and I got every penny of value out of ours... We were there multiple times a week, but only for an hour or two each time to break up the day and exhaust DCs. It is big enough that a couple of hours could easily be filled picking 3 animals to visit, a picnic (unless freezing or absolutely chucking it down), and a stop off in the playground or softplay. The 1yo had plenty to enjoy from the buggy but was also able to stretch her legs in the softplay/park and, once walking, wobble along with us between the animal enclosures. Picking different animals and routes each time kept it a bit more interesting, but the main goal was a quieter rest of the day as DCs were always easier to entertain at home with a decent run around in them. It became a bit of a routine, which helped us all.

Keep it simple. A mixture of playing at home( paddling pool/ sandpit if nice weather) co
ing along with you wherever you need to go, walks in parks, picnics( just take sandwiches and a rug and ball) and the odd day out . Repeat. Just be with your children and talk to them, read to them. Does the 3 year old like helping you bake?

I actually think the vast majority of comments have come from a good place - I only see one or two that are particularly rude or unpleasant?

Sorry you’re getting used for target practice by the Perfect Mummies, OP. Can only echo previous comments: it gets easier, trip along to as many little local events as you can, and get adult company wherever possible. 💐