I love my children but I hate weekends with them

What do you actually want from this thread if advice makes you so angry? Just to say yeah parenting is shit it's all crap? I haven't said anything wrong. But OK, bye!

Yes

It is hard, the constant am i doing enough,trying not to compare yourself to what you see online, trying to plan things everyone will enjoy but everything is so expensive plus it’s the school holidays so busy and full of big kids everywhere!

I found from age 1 to 2 the worst, just try and wing it, make sure you do something that gives you joy each day (a cake in a cafe, nice bath with the door locked or even a glass of wine at dinner time if needs be!!) the kids will be happy regardless because they’re with you their favourite person! Remember you’re the glue holding this shit together so if you want a chill day do it, if you cant be arsed to go swimming then have a disco bath at home, do what you have to do to make it through!

I meant to quote this post

I was that parent. My adult children are nicely rounded individuals. They talk about their childhoods with affection, but still feel the pressure now to be providing constructive play opportunities. So much is expected of parents now i think.
My own 70s childhood was even mire fee range. I think there is a happy medium to be had, just as i was discussing with my elderly mum this week.

Not at all denying it's tough, it is, just something that helps me. I think you might be reading more judgement into my posts than is there, or maybe I need to make an effort to write less bluntly.

I love mine but under 4 was haaaard. Also some kids don’t like sitting down to draw a nice picture. DD used to like to “paint”. Which involved me standing there with sheafs of paper because it took her 30 seconds to do her picture and she was ready to do a new one, she was a very prolific artist. Mainly she liked jumping from things. She was one of those that needed to have a parents beady eye on her constantly.

My idea of fun is a cup of tea and a book, I’m just not a small human kind of person. It’s fine if you aren’t, small kids are 95% work 5% joy imo. Doesn’t mean you don’t love them.

Do you mean this one?

Maybe it's my use of the word 'you'. I really meant 'one sets the tone' it wasn't meant to have a go at you. In teaching there's a common idea that the teacher creates the climate in their classroom and sets the tone and their attitude makes all the difference and personally I do my best to translate that to my parenting -- though obviously I don't always succeed. It's an idea I find helpful and inspiring in helping me to do better. It's not about blame or having a go at anyone, honestly.

Which one? I'm confused. It really wasn't. But I apologise if it upset you.

I agree. I’m a kid of the nineties and my mum definitely played with us/entertained us/took us out as babies/toddlers/pre schoolers. Basically until my brothers and I were old enough to crack on without her. I think fostering independent play from a young age is great but it’s minutes, not hours with very young DC.

And like I said earlier I only have one kid (pregnant with another) so I quite clearly stated I have it much easier than you do.

Sorry OP I really wasn't trying to give you a kicking in any way. Not saying childcare isn't tough, just personally I find if I try to reframe things positively it really helps. I'm not always positive or a perfect parent. Things like gratitude journals or imagining how I'll remember my kids as young ones when I'm old really help me. I wasn't blaming you in any way just trying to give practical advice.

If that sort of thing doesn't work for you I apologise and I'll bow out of the thread.

If you actually read my post it was the suggestion that parents can split up when their kids have different needs. So either one does with 3 year old alone, or you go as a family and one parent focuses on the 3 year old giving them one on one attention and the other focuses on the 1 year old and can carry them about to engage them in the family, and then take them off of they need to do something else. At no point did I say a just turned 1 year old would likely to walk about picking strawberries but it doesn’t mean the day out of off the cards for the whole family.

I used to feel the same, weekend days seemed ridiculously long and yet the weekend still flew by and it was back to work before I knew it?!

Having a big garden is great, I used to set up a shaded area for DS when he was a similar age to your youngest and pop my garden chair nearby and then DD would run around playing. If eating stones is an issue then perhaps some sort of outdoor playpen?

Having a break helps break it up too, can you have a few hours to yourself?

Now they're a bit older they do activities on a Saturday which helps, takes the pressure off finding something to do and adds some structure- empathy though it's hard when they're both young. Things are so much more expensive now as well!

Yes, you can.

Stop trying to make the OP feel guilty.

Again, get that to fuck.

Oh come on

I have a 2 year old and can relate to what you say. It is hard work and monotonous and weekends just feel like a continuation of that rather than the chance to rest and relax before having kids.

One suggestion I got from here was to break your weekend into chunks and ensure that you get a morning or afternoon to yourself each weekend. This has really helped.

Also I'd try get out the mindset off too of that weekends always need to be exclusively family time. Ensure that you take time out a weekend for yourself or to see friends. I find this really helps too.

This^^

One year olds just go where you go. Doesn’t need to be over thought. Allow time for rest etc but they’re learning by watching and listening.

I agree with you that there is nothing wrong with taking a 1 year old to less ‘appropriate’ activities. In fact it’s what we do most weekends as DH and I would rather spend time together than divide up. We do things us/the 4 year old (in theory) would like and 1 year old comes along

It doesn’t stop it being a lot of work though managing everyone’s needs, especially when the stage of development means your kids needs are extremely different. I am absolutely a ‘get out of the house’ kind of person but it comes with a lot of mental and physical load with tiny kids. It’s okay to find it not particularly enjoyable!