Does anyone else's DH do this?

Mine is the same - wants me to have a good time (& I do go out often / weekends away with friends etc).

You need to tell him to stop or hide / mute his messages until you're on your way home for the evening.

LOVE THIS RESPONSE!!! Say this op xxx

This is the approach - just let him know, via humour, that his whingeing has zero impact on you and get on with your night

So as usual a bunch of women whose total knowledge of your life and relationship is the approximately 70 words you’ve written, and whose knowledge of your husband’s motivations is precisely zero, are condemning him as a total lost cause.

also, they’re encouraging you to do all sorts of things to hint, passive-aggressively get your own back and otherwise sidestep actually communicating about it.

Be the adult, and tell him the impact of his behaviour, and tell him you expect it to stop.

“I love you and the kids with all my heart, but I occasionally need a break. When I’m having a break, you sending me messages about how hard you’re finding it defeats the whole point of me having a break. I get that you find it hard, but I really need you to take care of the kids, do what you can to have a fun time, and leave me to switch off. Please.”

My ex does this. I don’t dread not having my son because he’s away from me (though I do miss him of course) but because my ex starts with the messages the minute they get back to his house. Drives me loopy

Spot on and an extreme example of selfishness on his part!
Enjoy your much deserved time out with your friends

Or have some fun with it op

Yep, our kids are the spawn of Satan. Have fun 😁

No he wouldn't dream of it....because he's not a selfish controlling twat.

Send a 👍and ignore.
But tomorrow have very firm words.
Doubt this is his only twatty behaviour.

Just reply
And your telling me this why? While I'm on a night out. Ita not like I can do anything about it

He’s a total arse.

“Welcome to my world DH. Sounds like you need more parenting practice so I’ve arranged to go out again tomorrow! xoxo”

Why would you feel compelled to go home?

you’ve left your children with their other parent not the local 13 year old babysitter.

he is their parent just as much as you are. Does he come running home to you everytime their is a tantrum or stressful situation, I’m guessing not.

you are being a martyr by not just letting him get on with parenting.

He is the dad, he should be as capable as you to sort out the child, so no need to go home!

Absolutely not!!

If you’re used to texting each other random stuff throughout the day, then it may just be habit.

I hope he’s not intentionally trying to guilt trip you.

Only check your phone every 30mins.
Do not reply straight away and when you do just reply something like “oh dear, that’s not good.”

Do not go home.

What’s the GoT gif?

Also, OP, your DH is being a bit of a cunt.

In my relationship with DH, it was me who did this not him . I did it because I struggled with DS's behaviour and just wanted to let off steam . All I wanted was a jokey emoticon reply or acknowledgement. I certainly didn't want DH to feel bad or come home. Then again DH wouldn't ever have felt that I was trying to ruin his evening as I definitely was not. I just felt bad that I was struggling to cope and wanted him to just be on my side and acknowledge that DS was hard to handle sometimes ( he has asd and adhd)

DH on the other hand never ever did this . DH is most definitely a better parent and person than I am , less selfish and needing of validation . Luckily DH loves me and doesn't assume my insecurities or difficulties in coping are about him

If DH had said to me that he didn't like me sending those texts I definitely would have stopped though but he never asked so I didn't. Maybe ask him not to send them and say how they make you feel. If he doesn't stop after that then that is another matter altogether.

Don’t you DARE go home! We forbid you!

He is doing it deliberately so don’t fall for it.

No because he respects me enough to want me to relax and enjoy myself, not guilt trip me because I've left him with his own kids.

I'd just reply: uh oh! Good luck!

And send the game of thrones gif.

Then tomorrow talk it out with him.

If it were my husband I would type a cheery « oh you have your hands full! Be home in a few hours! Xx »

i would address this with him later on. He knows exactly what he is doing.

I voted YABU. As you are BU for feeling guilty.

Hendoes it to make you return feeling guilty and clearly it works. So why should he stop? He gets his way each time. Stop giving in.

Fucking hell, definitely do not ignore this. He needs to be told in no uncertain terms that this shit ends now. It's abusive, controlling, and totally disrespectful. Don't ever be a doormat to this type of behaviour.

My response to this would be a convo something along the lines of "when you do this, what is the purpose of the text? Are you telling me because you want a bit of emotional support i.e. 'yep our child can be hard work at times, sorry you've copped a day when he/she is being a bit of a handful' or are you saying you cannot manage and you need me to come home, because that's a whole other conversation we should have. If it's neither of these things, what's the purpose in telling me whilst I'm out? I can't DO anything about it other than to feel anxious its going tits up indoors or just feel shit about being out when you are clearly unhappy about it"

No, he’s out with our son today and I doubt I’ll hear from him before he gets home, I stupidly signed up to look after eight children today (who are currently is appears trying to kill each other in the garden), so I’ve sent him a text about my wonderful decision as I know if he reads it it rightly won’t have an impact on his day, well it will, he’ll piss himself laughing at me.

He knows exactly how it makes you feel and that's why he does it. Ignore