Does anyone else's DH do this?

'yup, now you know why I need a break' and then switch your phone on silent. Only check occasionally

Given that the OP has said her own BF would say the same as many responses on here, this bunch of women are probably correct

"Why does he do it?? I now feel shit and feel compelled to go home."

Haven't you just answered your own question?

Why do you feel compelled? You're out for the afternoon, not on safari for a month. Honestly, I wouldn't even feel compelled to answer his text.

Enjoy your afternoon, and when you get home tell him you only want to hear from him if he's ringing from the hospital or the morgue. And remind him of this restriction every time you go out for the afternoon from no on.

Is it a ploy to go home early- as in, do you often just go home as a result or is it an update for update sake.

Me and DH update each other when the other is out but not to come home, just funny updates or to confirm they've gone to bed etc.

I am going to take a different angle and say, he is probably not trying to ruin your night. Unless he is a knob in other areas of your life. My husband will often do this but I just say "uh oh, you poor thing" and carry on with my evening. He struggles with the kids overstimulating behaviour. I don't think that makes him a bad person, or "controlling and abusive". God help us, really!!!??? When he's out somewhere i don't generally text him about the kids, unless they really just won't go to sleep and I'm tired. Then I will also send a complainy message and he will reply with something similar.

That would just get a passive aggressive thumbs up in response from me

a parent parenting their own children isn’t doing a good deed. It’s their job as a parent.

If mine did this he'd just be emphasising what a good deed he is doing for me (!) and in fairness just expect a laughing emoji response.

I don't understand why you feel compelled to go home???

Message back. 'oh dear, you'll cope for one night's.

He's doing it so you'll go home. Don't go home. Hell probably up his game but you'll see it for what it is and hopefully read him the riot act that he knocks it off or your relationship won't last.

Why does he do it?? I now feel shit and feel compelled to go home.

Question, meet answer.

The answer is in your post.
For the same reason men f up your birthday/special day or derails your career or undermines your confidence.
Its utterly vile behaviour and exceptionally common among manchildren.
Tell him that you see what he is doing, and to stop crying wolf to ruin your day.
Its dreadful behaviour do not ignore it.

Only check your phone every 30mins.
Why check your phone at all when your out. Do you think he is not responsible enough to take care of any problems himself just leave it to him.

@Arghgerroffyabastard

So as usual a bunch of women whose total knowledge of your life and relationship is the approximately 70 words you’ve written, and whose knowledge of your husband’s motivations is precisely zero, are condemning him as a total lost cause.

A bunch of women whose total lived life experience has enabled them to home in unerringly on a lazy, selfish, manipulative, twattish man child.

Are you a man yourself?

I don't know your DH, so can't say he is doing it deliberately to ruin your day. But my DH used to send me messages when he was struggling and not quite knowing how to handle it.

But I knew he didn't mean anything by it, so I did speak to him about it. I pointed out that I didn't do it to him, and it spoils my day to just get negative messages from him, when there is nothing I can do about it, and I didn't want to mute him in case he needed me urgently. He did take it on board and stopped doing it.

So you could try talking to him. But if you genuinely think he is doing it deliberately then either mute him or just turn your phone off.

He's doing it because he doesn't want you to enjoy yourself. You know, don't you, that this relationship is going to break up? Get your ducks in a row.

You feel compelled to go home? Don’t you dare! He’s doing this, as pp said, to ruin your day-how could you possibly expect him to parent his own kids?! Ignore, carry on and read him his fortune when you (eventually) go home.

Ex would have done this (so rarely I went out!) but partner would never- if ever I were to get a text like this, I'd be all "well that's a shame and I'm so pissed now that I won't be any use ha ha ha" but I don't mind being a cunt when someone's being a cunt to me.

I'd reply "Welcome to my world darling! 😂 Don't wait up! xx"

And then have a lovely evening!

Because he's a dickhead.

I really don't see why you think you should go home! That's a weird reaction to being told the kids are playing up; like you're the only competent parent. Not the way to go if you want more nights out! I think I'd just not look at my phone or else text back "great thanks; really appreciate your hard work tonight!" With a smiley face. In other words give him credit and a bit of praise and don't bite. If he means it innocently that's fine; if he doesn't then it's also a good reaction.

Just reply ‘Gosh, I’m sure glad I’m not there, then. Good luck!’

I’ve said YABU for feeling compelled to go home. No way would that thought ever cross my mind!

I voted YANBU but actually you are being unreasonable for feeling you should go home.

He does this because he's angling for you to come and do the work of parenting instead of him.

DO NOT GO HOME.
Leave him to deal with his own children by himself. He is their parent FFS.

YY to 'life threatening emergency' text only.

You need to train this fool or you will be stuck with pathetic behaviour like this for years.

DH: oh im in for a good night, hope you are enjoying yourself
You: aw hope they settle down for you. Having a great time, thanks, so good to finally be out! x

He can only ruin your day if you let him. Enjoy being out with your friends but tomorrow have a think about whether you and your DH need to have a chat.