Does anyone else's DH do this?

Agree. Speak to a solicitor. Life shouldn't be like this.

This is not an eye-roll situation. He's an abusive, manipulative fuckwit, and he's furious that you didn't go home when he wanted you to.

I'd leave him over this.

I have done that to dh in the past when I was in the midst of depression and anxiety. I apologised and got help and now we are fine. I catch myself feeling like I could ring or text him sometimes, to make him feel guilty for having a life (that he bends to fit around mine and ours), but I stop myself.

She was correct. Read the update:

So.....it's 23.42... I responded with: "Oh well" I then got a phone call telling me that he wouldn't go to sleep until I got in, because he wanted to make sure I was home safe.

I am home safe now. Just getting a glass of water and he walks in the kitchen, tells me I'm disgusting and walks back in the bedroom.

Let's see what happens in the morning,🙄

He absolutely wanted to guilt her into coming home and is furious that he failed, so now he’s spoiling for a fight by slinging insults at her.

Obviously, everyone's relationship is different - so, please don't take this as a criticism.
But, I can't imagine messaging my husband when he's out to ask him if he's "having a good night"?

That feels slightly 'off' to me.
If DH messaged me to ask if I was having a good night, then followed it up with moaning and crying face emojis, I'd be pretty unimpressed.

When he goes out, I hold the fort at home. When I go out, I fully expect the same in return.
If there's some sort of emergency, we would get in touch with each other - but, otherwise, no news is good news.

We can enquire about each other's enjoyment of the night the following morning.

I think you have a dp problem.

I don't know how you know this, sure I would tell him to stop but if a women did this I would say the same to her

I wonder if people who come up with definite back stories to explain someone's behaviour of someone they don't know has major issues going on with their own behaviour

I mean that’s not a casual eye roll situation. That’s a you should leave one

He sounds dreadful and controlling, sorry you're having to deal with this.

Good advice. Hope you're ok Op. Stay safe.

Just getting a glass of water and he walks in the kitchen, tells me I'm disgusting and walks back in the bedroom.

😮 Yep, he really wanted to ruin your night. Don't respond as he's spoiling for a fight and it won't end well. Go to bed, get some decent sleep and tackle his bad behaviour tomorrow.

Just respond “thats nice for you, welcome to my world!”

There would have been an almighty row when I got home. Good luck lass. xxx

He is doing this deliberately to control you and force you to go back home. It's really passive-aggressive and manipulative. Is he controlling in other ways? I'd nip this in the bud straight away and tell him NOT to contact or text you unless it's an emergency.

Friend of mine had a husband that did that, every time. He's no longer her husband.

I voted that you were BU OP, but only because you should have put a stop to this the first time he did it. How pathetic is he that he can't look after his own kids without whinging about it, so unless you hear from him that there's been a disaster, don't you dare consider going home next time he does it. Just text him back and tell him to grow up and father the children that he spawned! Then give him the number of one of the friends you're with, and tell him you'll be switching your own phone off, and he's not to contact your friend, unless there is risk to life or limb. I get so sick of hearing about these pathetic men, who can manage to hold down a job, operate expensive machinery, run a company, etc., but can't cope with a child for a few hours! Grrr!

Read and ignore the message. After a couple of hours, reply back and say 'oh dear poor you'. Then carry on with your evening. Your husband is a grown adult, who is looking after his own children. Parenting is not just your role, but his too! I would not feel bad one little bit, and I certainly wouldn't go running home. He needs to learn to cope for a few hours, and that won't happen if you go home as soon as there is a small issue.

It is a nice thing to do though.. assuming you are both equal partners and usually split the chores and childcare. I ask DH if he minds taking the load for a night and he does the same. I wouldn’t ever announce I was going out and it was his job to cope.

Turn the phone off.

Block him. Not for ever For this evening.

Switch your phone off.

Just ignore it. It’s a text there’s no need to respond at all!

If you feel compelled to respond in some way, maybe just send a sad face emoji back. Pretty much kills the conversation!

Nanny0gg

what intent? I asked was he having a good night and moaned about my night!! No intent, he sent back a laughing face, I sent back a crying one and told him I’d leave the key out and to have a good one! No intent, a conversation 😅 I just felt bad when I saw op felt guilty when she got a similar message

The point is to get you to come home or, failing that, to have you feel indebted to him because his evening alone with the kids was sooooo haaaard. Even if he goes out alone a lot more often, if he sets up the transaction so that his (few) stints alone with the kids are positioned as more costly to him than yours are to you, then he can essentially get several lone outings for himself in exchange for one lone outing for you.

The immediate hope (IMHO) is that if you don't cut your evening short, then when you DO come home the interaction goes something like:
Him: They really acted up, they were awful. I'm exhausted.
You: Oh I'm so sorry. I'll stay with them tomorrow morning so you can go to your game.
Him: That'll only be 4 hours. It's hardly anything (totally ignores that your outing last night was only 4 hours). Last week they were really good for you. I really want to get to my pub quiz too. And my buddies are playing Fallout on Sunday, can't believe I'm missing that.
You: They weren't good for me last week. I just didn't text you about it.
Him: if they had been as bad for you as they were for me, you WOULD have text me about it. They were the worst I've ever seen them.
You: ok fine, I'll watch them for the rest of the weekend and you can go out all weekend with your buddies.