Would this be too much for your young kids ?

It sounds a busy schedule but for kids that age they'd be ok with the change in routine and a busy schedule, especially if they had a day to chill after coming home.

I suspect your mom is misremembering on how much you guys would fit in though, i don't see how you'd cram in more with kids that age.

This would be too much for DS 6. He's an early riser no matter what. If he goes to bed late he wakes even earlier. A day like that would be okay and then another day with a few days of more regular hours in the middle. When he's overtired he doesn't enjoy things which means neither do I!

I don't really see why the kids are going to bed so late and apart from the first day it doesn't look particularly fun for them either.

Why the late dinners and then amusement parks afterwards? On the first day there doesn't seem to be anything between the afternoon nap and dinner, so I have no idea why you'd go out for dinner that late rather than, say 6-7pm.

On the second and third day it seems to be mostly driving around visiting people and going shopping, which I'd think was a fairly boring weekend day for my kids, definitely not a holiday.

We are taking small kids on holiday in a few weeks' time and we've gone for holiday homes so we can eat in in the evenings and have a drink in the garden after the kids have gone to bed. If we go to restaurants it'll be for lunch. We'll plan most of our days around having a nap/quiet time after lunch, so kid friendly activities all morning and then again late in the afternoon. I expect my 3 year old will skip his nap a few times.

I think if they’re crying when they normally wouldn’t then that’s not them coping or being OK.

In your first example at 4 mine would have needed a nap too. Even older they would still need to nap every other day.

At those ages most children should be having around 12 hours. Not having enough sleep is deprimental to people’s health.

My eldest could have just about coped with those days. Probably wouldn't have cried unless she got hurt, but might have been fragile e.g. by day a a small bump on the knee would have caused big tears. Her brothers wouldnt have coped with it AT ALL and would have been screaming and miserable by the second day.

I used to have very intense holidays with my parents, but I was around 6 or older by then. Perhaps your parents are out by a year or two

Yes it's loads, late nights aswell. If it works for you and the kids aren't tired and stuffing etc then that's fine. But I think that's a lot I was exhausted reading it

OMG the hard stare 😱 That was DM’s sharpest-honed weapon.

I'd throw a couple of rest days in the mix, but my 2 year old would handle most of that.

And if she was tired, she'd just go to sleep in the car or on one of us at dinner or something. Once she knows she needs to sleep, she just finds somewhere she feels safe and goes to sleep.

Mine would be fried. I would be fried. DH would definitely be fried. But as you say, every family is different.

I was generally ‘well behaved’ as a child but was scared of DM and DGF. Ironically am just starting therapy through CMHT and CPN unpicking my childhood, so I don’t really use mine as a reference point for good parenting.

When mine were that age just 2yrs ago they would not have coped with the late night. We often used to have to go back around 9pm maybe 9.30 at a push as youngest was just so tiered and getting upset/behaving badly.

They are now 4 and just turned 7 they really struggled on holiday recently with only getting 9-10 hrs sleep. Both no longer nap. As the week went on we had to go to bed earlier and let them sleep in longer.

I think it depends on the child too though. My eldest copes fairly well to be honest so apart from being tiered her behaviour was fine. It's my youngest that doesn't cope and the tears n tantrums can come quickly.

I think all parents think their kids were so well behaved back in the day and never had a meltdown etc but I think they forget a lot of it 😂 or kids were scared of their punishments!

My DD only sleeps 9h a night at the moment so it would be doable as one off but I wouldn't want my 2 year old to be out after 8pm. Latest I would want to reach home is 9pm if pushing it but only if she had taken a late nap and I knew she was falling asleep late that evening.

I think people just forget the detail once they are no longer in that stage of parenting.

It's like the people confidently telling their child sat up unaided or rolling at 8 weeks. When you are living that stage a week is a long time and you are very into milestones. But if asked the question now I'd be at risk of a dud answer because I genuinely can't remember and it's all blurred.

Your mum probably isn't recalling the experience at the exact same ages. At some point you won't either.

All small children who get hot, over tired or over stimulated get upset over nonsense. But they also aren't the memories most of us retain from nice holidays.

For my 4 year old in the holidays 8:30 - 9pm is a late bedtime.

Tbh, my 6 year old is up til around 10pm and up at 8. It's the summer holidays; I am not too bothered. However, our days are very relaxed and I've purposely made it so there's basically no travelling for them. They're free flowing between a large pool, trampoline, garden, sandpit, indoor toys, crafts, snacks and drinks, walks in the local area.

I would expect tears and tantrums with consistent days out and long travelling but not the occasional day (though with a 2 year old I'd expect some tears and tantrums no matter what!).

I'd also say that given you are of an age where you are having children yourself, we have a tendency to forget the bad/grindy bits of parenting and remember the nice bits. If those days you mention are spaced out amongst pottering about at home, it sounds reasonable. I have learned to lower my expectations and plans as 6 weeks is really a long time and they can get very tired.

I was saying to my mum how what we are doing is much nicer than taking them on many days out and queuing/travelling for huge parts of the day! We'll save that for when they are older.

I think as long as it isn’t that planned eg they seem extra tired they get to lie in, or they go to bed early the odd night etc. as long as hydratedetc probably fine (with some lovely holiday tantrums of course!!)

1. All dc are different. Not better or worse. Not more capable or less. A holiday could coincide with a need for more sleep (b/c of more time in the sun, a growth spurt, change in routine etc.).
2. That is a very full on schedule for a 2 and 4 year old. And very late nights. I don't think most children that age only have 9 hours sleep at night to be fair. Most dc that age I know go to bed around 7 and certainly aren't awake at 4 am which would be 9 hrs later. I'd say 7/7:30 bedtime and 6/6:30 wake time is more 'average' for that age.
3. Grandparents always mis-remember. My Mum has said similar, then we were looking at old photos and she mentioned when we went to a hot country when I was 2 that I was miserable and so unlike myself that week. It was too hot etc. I laughed and laughed to myself b/c for many years she has been using that holiday as a gentle 'nudge' that I didn't struggle in the same way my current child the same age does when very tired etc, or any of my older dc did sometimes. Clearly, I did!

Personally, if it is a weeks holiday I try to have a couple days that are very very simple - hotel pool, small walks for ice-cream, etc. I try to never have more than two busy days on the trot. Errands etc can be done by 1 parent, maybe with the 4 year old.

Listen to your dc, they are telling you what they need and are probably doing really well given their ages!

If it’s in a different country then they probably have a completely different everyday lifestyle than you and you can’t expect your kids to suddenly jump into it.

There are also differences in how to do an activity. For example, at dinner time we would sit at a table, chat, people watch, maybe do some colouring. If the kids are running around or watching screens then they will be a lot more tired after. Sugar also plays a role - you need to time the crash to fall during quiet time.

My kids would have been miserable and would not cope.

A bit different for us as my DS is profoundly autistic with learning disabilities. He’d manage ok with one of those days but not day after day back to back, and I don’t think he’d manage to stay awake that late. He’s 7.

*8pm

No way my kids would have managed that at 2 and 4. I think they were asleep by 8am at that age!

As an example on your first day after the beach and lunch they would have definitely fallen asleep in the car on the way back. And we would probably had to lounge by the hotel pool or playground and have an early dinner or face crying tantrums, especially if the weather was hot.

That's because he should have been in bed before this time!

I think your mother has forgotten the tears and tantrums whilst retaining good memories of your holidays

That’s far too late to bed for little ones.