Page 4 | Adults calling their parents by their names

lunchingwithladies · 2024-07-27T09:13:02+00:00

Inspired by the Aunty Emma thread, my brother (in his 40's) calls my mother (in her 80s) by her first/Christian name, often in a slightly patronising way. It gives me the absolute rage. Anyone else encountered this?? AIBU?

Gloaminggnome · 27/07/2024 10:26

lunchingwithladies · 27/07/2024 10:21

true

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Haha, you'd hate me then, I call mine a mixture of Mummy & Daddy and then stupid nicknames based on their first names. My mother calls me by my name sometimes, but more often something daft like Tinkerbell or Pumpkin 😂

Tagyoureit · 27/07/2024 10:26

My dad is 74 and he said he always called his mum and dad by their names, even when he was a child which I find so bizarre.

But when he speaks about my late mum, if he says her name, he will correct himself and call her mum as if I don't know who he's referring to. It's odd.

But I rarely call my dad, dad these days as I've got in to the habit of calling him grandad because of the kids.

Flavabobble · 27/07/2024 10:26

How does your mum feel about it? If it makes her feel disrespected you've every right to feel the rage.

Procrastinates · 27/07/2024 10:26

lunchingwithladies · 27/07/2024 10:24

Is it? That's interesting. Most people I know call their parents 'Mum/ Dad'

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Yes I'd say it's pretty normal. Most people I know will use a mixture e.g say my mum when talking to others about her and then call their mum by her actual name when in her company e.g Paula would you like a cuppa.

Original poster

lunchingwithladies · 27/07/2024 10:24

Procrastinates · 27/07/2024 10:22

It gives you the rage that an adult calls his mum by her actual name? That's really not a normal or healthy response to something to that's quite a common thing for people to do once they are no longer children.

Is it? That's interesting. Most people I know call their parents 'Mum/ Dad'

OP posts:

Original poster

lunchingwithladies · 27/07/2024 10:23

EmoCourt · 27/07/2024 10:19

Why does it give you the rage? Do you want him to use whatever title you do?

I can think of quite a few people I know, including some very strait-laced older cousins, who address their parents by their first names. DS has called his grandparents by shortened forms of their first names since he was a toddler. He thought that up himself. We’d all been using ‘Granny X’ etc. He just chose otherwise. I couldn’t get excited about it.

It's usually when it accompanies some dismissive or belittling comment, it doesn't feel equalising, it feels rude.

It's hard to articulate why it bothers me so much, which is why I wondered if others have similar experiences

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Threeweeksold · 27/07/2024 10:22

I call my monster of a father by his first name. Not to him personally as we have no contact, but when I’m speaking about him. I can’t bear to use the word father to describe the wanker. It’s too nice a word to use with him.

Procrastinates · 27/07/2024 10:22

It gives you the rage that an adult calls his mum by her actual name? That's really not a normal or healthy response to something to that's quite a common thing for people to do once they are no longer children.

Original poster

lunchingwithladies · 27/07/2024 10:21

NuffSaidSam · 27/07/2024 10:21

It's a bit odd, but not nearly as bad as adults who call their parents Mummy and Daddy.

true

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NuffSaidSam · 27/07/2024 10:21

It's a bit odd, but not nearly as bad as adults who call their parents Mummy and Daddy.

EmoCourt · 27/07/2024 10:19

Why does it give you the rage? Do you want him to use whatever title you do?

I can think of quite a few people I know, including some very strait-laced older cousins, who address their parents by their first names. DS has called his grandparents by shortened forms of their first names since he was a toddler. He thought that up himself. We’d all been using ‘Granny X’ etc. He just chose otherwise. I couldn’t get excited about it.