Adults calling their parents by their names

My family nickname was a shortened version of my first name, and all my family called me Tooty.
DS up until he was about 8 called me Mummy/Mum, then started calling me Tooty and still does and he is in his forties now.
I didn't mind then and still don't, it's my name.

If both are happy with it, myob. DH called his parents by their first names after about the age of 25, respected them a lot.
I would never have dreamed of doing the same to mine, and certainly in the case of late father, I didn't respect him all that much.
Personal choice.

Why does this upset people so much? It’s what we called them - it would’ve felt very odd to suddenly start calling them ‘dad’ and ‘mum’. I would talk about ‘my mum’ or ‘my dad’ if I was describing them to other people, but to me and my siblings they were always Mummy and Daddy. And we are not posh or royal, it’s just what we used.

I’d give anything to be able to use those names again 😢

I still call my dad, Dad.
I was in his class at school and couldn’t bring myself to call him Sir, it was just too weird!

my DC (5 & 9) occasionally call me and DH by our names…. I find it quite amusing but usually don’t react, I just respond same as I would if they said mum.

My daughter decided at some point to call me by my first name. I was not impressed. I let it go for a bit but then mentioned I didn't care for it. I'm her mum, there are only 3 people in the world who have the privilege of using that title to me and I'm not prepared to relinquish it. Maybe as I didn't have the opportunity of calling anyone that myself I feel so strongly.

I usually call my dad by his first name.

I think it started when we had children and I stated calling my husband 'Dad' to the kids - "Ask Dad," etc.

I've always called my dp by their first names. I don't see why you care tbh. I think it's up to the individual.

Is he really being patronising? Or just using her name and you find it patronising?

I've never heard anyone doing "it in a patronising way." DH called both his parents by their first names, at their request, from the age of about 12. They decided he was too old to use Mummy and Daddy, especially in front of customers (they lived in work-related accommodation), and for reasons I don't entirely understand, Mum and Dad just don't seem to have been on their radar. Possibly a regional thing as they weren't upper-class. They never referred to my parents as "your mum" or "your dad" the whole time I knew them, always "your mother" or "your father." This vaguely irritated me somehow.

DH also called his paternal grandmother (he never knew the grandfather) by her first name and I think his dad did too.

My take is that you should always call people what they say they want to be called. It's not automatically disrespectful to call parents by their names - but it is if they don't like it.

I call my dad Daddy and always have. He doesn't like it but tough luck. I don't see it any weirder than adding -y for affection to anyone's name.

I avoid addressing my mother at all but certainly wouldn't call her mummy.

Sounds like he's trying to change the power dynamic

I never called my parents Mum and Dad growing up.
It was always Mummy and Daddy.
I'm not sure when it changed but my father, approaching 90, started referring to himself as 'your/my Dad' at some point so he's Dad now, but Mummy still signs cards and letters as Mummy so that's how I greet her.
My siblings and I refer to her as Mum in our own correspondence, but in her hearing it's always Mummy.

Double post!

The royals are a whole other level of infantilisation…

How odd. Don't come to Wales, then. Very normal to call parents Mammy and Daddy here.

Its odd as fuck. I heard a woman shouting Kev Kev over the back fence and it turns out it was his 30 odd year old daughter. I mean what the fuck?!?! Maybe its a thing pretend posh people do. It sounds insane.

nope.. i am MUM! no ifs or buts.. i don't care what the whole woke generation makes of it! my children will call me MUM until i am no longer walking this earth.

my daughter went through a faze of trying to call me by my name when she was in uni cos all her 'to do' friends did it.. told her straight.. i'm mum.. get over it

This. I only refer to myself as mummy with the dog. With the kids it’s been Mum and Dad from the start.

I don’t mind Mammy if you are Irish (but I am not)

Is it okay when a Royal uses it? I recall the then Prince Charles addressing his mother as “Mummy”.

Yes. ‘Mammy’ is absolutely not akin to ‘Mummy’. The only adult I’ve ever heard using ‘Mummy’ in Ireland was an elderly Anglo-Irish woman who’d been presented as a debutante in the 1940s, and she was talking about a woman who’d been killed in the Blitz.

People always bring up the Irish countries during these discussions, but it’s not the same thing. Irish ‘mammy’ doesn’t sound anything like a Home Counties ‘Daddy’ (Jack Whitehall comes to mind).

well, having spent years being told that "Mummy" is simultaneously weird, pretentious and babyish it's a strong-minded young woman who doesn't look for alternatives.

You shouldn't visit Ireland then. Mammy/Mummy and Daddy is completely normal for anyone of any age to say.

Usually when they are teenagers it switches to Ma and Da/Mum and Dad for a while, but usually reverts again

If mum doesn't mind, why do you? Lots of people do that in a friendly, gentle way, they also have nicknames. Why worry, life is too short.

My mother-in-law's name was Winifred (Win), and my late husband used to call her "WinWin" sometimes because he said it as a small child, she didn't mind at all, it was nice. I did get annoyed with him when he called her, "Grandma", because, although she was a grandmother she wasn't his. It didn't stop him :-).

My 20yr old still calls me mama, and his dad dada. It’s what’s he’s always called us (as has his 16yr old sister). I think if talking to others he would probably say I’m going to see my mum, but he calls me mama to my face. I don’t know why people have an issue with people calling parents mummy & daddy. I used to think it was childish. Until I grew up and realised many people do it, and so what.

It's the rudeness that's the issue. DSis (DC4) started using DMs first name sometimes when she was little because Mum had stopped responding to 'Mum'. She also called her 'Mrs D' when at school (Mum worked there and was OK with that). But as adults we all call her Mum 99% of the time.