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Original poster

Husband calls me 'Nag Wife'

215 replies

anonymouslt123 · 27/07/2024 07:20

Hi mumsnet. Posting with a throwaway account.

My husband (35M), married for 3 years, has been calling me 'Nag Wife' as a nickname. I don't even think I nag that much, but he says it (as a joke, apparently) every time I ask him to do anything. Like, he'll call me Nag Wife while I'm vacuuming or cleaning up after him, or say that washing up etc are 'Nag Wife activities'. I know it's a joke (and I actually don't mind doing the housework), but is it? His latest 'joke' is to do a fake dejected sigh any time I ask him to do anything, like make me a cup of tea, and say 'Yes Nag Wife'.

He even has me saved in his phone as Nag Wife...

I spoke to him and he says it's a joke, but am I being disrespected? Or am I overthinking things?

OP posts:
YorkshireTeaBiscuits · 27/07/2024 07:54

Simple way to solve this rename him as stupid twat and and tell people the reason why. He will soon find it tiresome and not very funny, the stupid twat.

DustyLee123 · 27/07/2024 07:52

Men call women ‘nags’ to shut them up. It’s abusive and misogyny.

cupcaske123 · 27/07/2024 07:51

Nag is a deeply misogynist word and I wouldn't put up with it. You shouldn't have to ask him to pull his weight and you certainly shouldn't be cleaning up after him.

Feelingmentallyunsettled · 27/07/2024 07:50

It's a 1950s era concept that wives are " nags". Sexist , misogynistic, anachronistic behaviour by your DH.
Even the fact he is presenting it to you as a joke and expecting you to believe that and accept it shows the contempt he feels for you.
He is conditioning you to let him do anything he wants without you challenging him whilst you do all the work in the house.
What a nasty person.

LadyRoughDiamond · 27/07/2024 07:50

In that case, I suggest your name for him is The Starter Husband. It’s a term for a short, first marriage with no children that quickly ends when you realise what a mistake you’ve made.

Remember the old Mumsnet saying - when someone tells you who they are, listen.

SharonEllis · 27/07/2024 07:48

This is awful. Misogynist, demeaning and utterly juvenile. I can't believe its come out of the blue either which does not bode well. I know its all very well to say this now but you should have nipped it in the bud. All you can do is talk to him. If he does not respect what you're saying then it will reveal a deeper contempt and, personally I couldn't live with that. 'Nag' has always been a red line for me - I'd have no man in my life that uses the word.

Couldyounot · 27/07/2024 07:47

And you married this silver-tongued prince among men because...?

Tibssix · 27/07/2024 07:46

That's awful!

sashagabadon · 27/07/2024 07:42

I’d start calling him Prick Husband

Wordsmithery · 27/07/2024 07:41

All of the above. I'm not typically of the LTB tribe but honestly this speaks volumes about his mindset and I imagine spills over into other misogynistic behaviours.
So, yes, unless you see genuine remorse and actual change when you read him the riot act, LTB.

Hedgehog23 · 27/07/2024 07:39

It’s misogynistic, not funny. ‘It’s a joke’ can be a cover for being offensive. I don’t say this lightly, but I would leave him unless he stops. I think it’s a terrible sign in a relationship.

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 27/07/2024 07:38

Nagging is the repetition of unnecessary facts.
No fucking way would I put up with this, is he a washed up 1970’s comic?

Gymmum82 · 27/07/2024 07:37

I’d start calling him twat husband as a ‘joke’ of course

Catza · 27/07/2024 07:37

My father had a similar name for my mum, also claimed it was a joke. The thing is, he was a despicable human being in every way imaginable so no... not funny at all. Don't bother coming up with a name for him. You don't want to go down to his level. I wouldn't tolerate it for one moment.
My partner only once said the word "nag" in our house and the look on my face was enough for him to never say it again.

Morningcrows · 27/07/2024 07:37

Or save him in phone as lazy bastard husband. Do not tolerate this. He is showing you who he is.

Hugmorecats · 27/07/2024 07:36

Your new name for him whenever he calls you that can be ‘Twat husband’. It’s okay, it’s a joke!

WitchyBits · 27/07/2024 07:35

Save him in your phone as shrimp duck or shit shag. Every time he ash's for sex sigh drastically and say that you will do it but you just wish he could last longer/had more girth and the skills of the man you were with just before him/your first boy friend/your vibrator even when that batteries are flagging. Then when he gets all offended explode in raucous laughter and point out that it's a JOKE!

Parkmybentley · 27/07/2024 07:35

You are massively underreacting OP. He has no respect for you. The relationship is doomed unless you go nuclear and he changes by some miracle. Also you need counselling for yourself, this shouldn't even be a question.

Serriadh · 27/07/2024 07:35

What do you call him? Call him “First Husband”. Just a joke!

Or say that it started off funny (did it?) but you find it hurtful and want him to stop.

To stop you nagging, get him to come up with a list of household jobs that need doing and choose which ones he’ll do automatically without any “nagging” required. Don’t get into a setup where all the house stuff is automatically yours

CindyBirdsong · 27/07/2024 07:35

Have you tried answering " OK limp dick' every time? After all it's just a joke.

Spirallingdownwards · 27/07/2024 07:35

Save him in your phone as Ex Husband to Be

(what? it's just a joke)

JMSA · 27/07/2024 07:34

Save him on your phone as 'Arsehole Husband'.

Well, if the cap fits ...

MinniesCountdown · 27/07/2024 07:33

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AlisonDonut · 27/07/2024 07:31

This will end in a divorce anyway so you may as well bite the bullet as soon as you can

rainbowstardrops · 27/07/2024 07:31

Absolutely not on! Jokes are supposed to be funny. This isn't. I'd tell him to stop it, start doing things without having to be asked, otherwise sod off!

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