Page 7 | Husband calls me 'Nag Wife'

UngratefulOldCabbage · 27/07/2024 08:28

I'd get his phone and change my name in his contacts to 'ex wife'.
Then send a text telling him we're getting a divorce.
Raise your standards OP....and don't have kids with him or they'll be little versions of him also treating you like shit.

AlisonDonut · 27/07/2024 08:27

A man who does this isn't one to rile by making up nicknames for him. She needs to just divorce the prick.

Scarletrunner · 27/07/2024 08:27

Luddite26 · 27/07/2024 08:00

It's 2024 do you really have to ask Mumsnet if this is not ok?

Is this thread even true?

Shockvote · 27/07/2024 08:26

Start calling him Dick Head. Every time you speak to him. If he speaks to you, roll your eyes and say “OK Dick Head”. Don’t waver, just carry on, until he gets the message. Then leave him.

CautiousLurker · 27/07/2024 08:25

Sorry - it’s not a joke. It’s abusive, especially the fact that he has saved you on his phone. It’s coercive and psychological abuse. You tell him it stops or he can fuck off.

You are either a team, one that respects the other, one that works together to maintain your home or you are not.

Theothername · 27/07/2024 08:23

I was going to recommend Fair Play by Eve Rodsky (which is about a fair division of labour) but you might be better to take a look at the Gottman’s work on marriage and relationship. Contempt is marriage destroying.

The Four Horsemen: Contempt | The Gottman Institute

Contempt is the worst of the four horsemen. It is the most destructive negative behavior in relationships, but we can help you defeat it.

https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-contempt

Vergeofbreakdown23 · 27/07/2024 08:21

anonymouslt123 · 27/07/2024 07:20

Hi mumsnet. Posting with a throwaway account.

My husband (35M), married for 3 years, has been calling me 'Nag Wife' as a nickname. I don't even think I nag that much, but he says it (as a joke, apparently) every time I ask him to do anything. Like, he'll call me Nag Wife while I'm vacuuming or cleaning up after him, or say that washing up etc are 'Nag Wife activities'. I know it's a joke (and I actually don't mind doing the housework), but is it? His latest 'joke' is to do a fake dejected sigh any time I ask him to do anything, like make me a cup of tea, and say 'Yes Nag Wife'.

He even has me saved in his phone as Nag Wife...

I spoke to him and he says it's a joke, but am I being disrespected? Or am I overthinking things?

Just reply EVERY SINGLE TIME with "yes Lazy Ba@@@@d" or "thanks Lazy Ba@@@@d" and tell him it's just a joke when he starts getting offended!
The B name could be switched out to whatever you're comfortable with A@@@@@le or just Git if you don't have a potty mouth like me 😉

CleftChin · 27/07/2024 08:21

Bloody hell, what a jerk. I doubt this is going to change, but the only thing I'd be able to do is come up with a similar 'joke' name for him and give him a taste of his own medicine as the others are saying.

My dad tried that on me - saying that I would 'have a go at him' if he put the bowls in the wrong cupboard when he emptied the dishwasher while visiting, so he just leaves them on the side. As much as I appreciate him doing the dishwasher, I don't appreciate him painting me as a shrew (even the entire concept of 'shrew' existing TBH) in front of my children, encouraging them to laugh at the woman who looks after them rather than pitch in in a mature manner. So I said that to him - that I would never, and have never had a go at him for it, and I'd appreciate him not talking like that in my house.

He had the grace to look a little bit chastened - because he knew what he was doing. Don't think you'll get anywhere with yours - he's already gone too far.

Okayornot · 27/07/2024 08:16

My god, what a childish asshat.

Theothername · 27/07/2024 08:14

That reflects so poorly on him. No responsible adult should need nagging - they should barely need asking because they should notice things for themselves and do it.

No decent man ever had a nagging wife.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 27/07/2024 08:11

He's doing that thing you see on 90s American sitcoms (which I hate) where it's expected that wife nags and husband tries to get away from the house/family as much as possible and do as little as possible.

You hear men in the workplace complaining about their wives in the same way.

It's like he's trying to fit in, or thinks that's what marriage is supposed to be like.

DH came home one day and said there was surprise from someone he was talking to because he'd said "no, I actually like my wife" in response to someone saying something similar to them all having a "nag wife" about theirs.

Knock it on the head or walk away and find someone who actually wants to do things like bring you a cup of tea and be your partner.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 27/07/2024 08:09

Start calling him tiny dick. Save him as that on your phone. Tell him EVERY time; it’s just a joke!

he’s a lazy misogynistic prick. And that’s NOT a joke BTW

BCBird · 27/07/2024 08:04

I would not be happy with this OP

tennesseewhiskey1 · 27/07/2024 08:02

What a fucking immature jerk you’re married to. Save him down as ‘immature fucker’ see how he likes it.

honestyISkind · 27/07/2024 08:01

anonymouslt123 · 27/07/2024 07:20

Hi mumsnet. Posting with a throwaway account.

My husband (35M), married for 3 years, has been calling me 'Nag Wife' as a nickname. I don't even think I nag that much, but he says it (as a joke, apparently) every time I ask him to do anything. Like, he'll call me Nag Wife while I'm vacuuming or cleaning up after him, or say that washing up etc are 'Nag Wife activities'. I know it's a joke (and I actually don't mind doing the housework), but is it? His latest 'joke' is to do a fake dejected sigh any time I ask him to do anything, like make me a cup of tea, and say 'Yes Nag Wife'.

He even has me saved in his phone as Nag Wife...

I spoke to him and he says it's a joke, but am I being disrespected? Or am I overthinking things?

Call him Bully Husband, every single time, he uses the grossly offensive term, put him in your phone as Bully Husband. Tell him to grow a sense of humour when he arcs up.

Nagging, by the way, is just the repetition of unpalatable truths.

Luddite26 · 27/07/2024 08:00

It's 2024 do you really have to ask Mumsnet if this is not ok?

ClaraLaraBow · 27/07/2024 08:00

He saved you in his phone as Nag Wife? That's horrible.

GoldenLegend · 27/07/2024 08:00

I’d call him ‘Soon to be Ex Husband’. And tell him to leave.

middleofnowhere666 · 27/07/2024 07:59

He's training you to avoid asking him to do anything or expect anything from him. If you let this continue it will only get worse, time to have a serious conversation with this Man Child.

NoWordForFluffy · 27/07/2024 07:58

BellesAndGraces · 27/07/2024 07:56

It’s not a joke if you’re not laughing. Time to lose your shit or lose the husband.

Or both!

I'd be calling him 'Soon to be ex-husband' and filing for divorce.

LovelyDaaling · 27/07/2024 07:57

You're at the top of the slippery slope. He's definitely your first husband.

GreyCarpet · 27/07/2024 07:57

Please tell me you don't have sex with a man who has so little respect for you?

BellesAndGraces · 27/07/2024 07:56

It’s not a joke if you’re not laughing. Time to lose your shit or lose the husband.

Twinklewonderkins · 27/07/2024 07:56

Surely you mean ex husband?
he sounds fucking awful and will get worse.

TealSapphire · 27/07/2024 07:54

You need to ask?! He thinks he's being funny?! I couldn't be with such a low intellect twat.