Husband calls me 'Nag Wife'

He would be in my phone as "Bitch Baby STBEX"

Is he 35 or 135? His sense of humour seems tragically old fashioned. Ugh.

These threads make me so thankful I'm married to a respectful husband. Now. Husband Number 1 was like yours OP. He would have had me listed on his phone as either 'Essex Chav', 'Non Private School Attendee' or simply 'The Wanker.' He had zero respect for me and it was doomed from the start xx

Disrespectful.

Next time he does it just down tools, pour a glass of wine, put your feet up, and watch something only you enjoy.

Let the housework pile up.

Let him do it!

If he doesn't and it gets to a stage you can't bear, go stay with friends/family/in a hotel for a while, explaining to him that you cannot beat him calling you something as disrespectful as Nag Wife but not can you bear the mess he is willing to live in if you don't clean/ask him to chip in.

That's not funny at all.

It's him telling you he doesn't want to do anything for you because he doesn't respect you, and I too would call him something as 'innocent' as what he was calling me.

Lazy husband.
Useless husband.
Soon to be ex husband.
Worthless husband.
Crap husband.

Whichever you think most appropriate.
Get your ducks in a row. Copy bank and building society statements, pension info, wage slips, p60s. Etc. As it's only a matter of time before you need these things to divorce him and get a fair settlement.

Try Neg Boi as a response. Negging is criticising women to keep them in their place, done by men who haven't reached adult levels of emotional maturity, hence Boi not Man.

I'd call him dickhead every time he sighed or called me nag wife.

I would also save him in my phone under dickhead husband and play him at his own game.

When he gets offended (which he will)just smile and say that's why I'm called nag wife,because you behave like a childish dickhead and then he will realise he's being a tit.

If he doesn't then you need serious words about how disrespectful he is being towards you.

I would not be happy

Or better yet no small prick husband. Something is only a joke If the person it's about genuinely thinks it's funny and enjoys the joke. It's a joke is just an excuse made by bullies to justify their nastiness and put downs. It's not funny and its not a joke. It's your feelings and your life and this man is supposed to love you not make you feel undermined and hurt and less than.

Yes I would start calling him lazy husband, or soon to be ex husband. I would have told him to fuck off the very first time he said it though.

Didn't mean to quote your OP, OP!

Yes, he's disrespecting you.

I'd sit him down and explain that you don't like it. You should both be doing roughly equal amounts of domestic labour. If you do more, he should be eternally grateful you're spending a disproportionate amount of your finite time on earth making a comfortable home for him to live in. The least he could do is not be a twat about it.

He sounds like a child. I wouldn't stay if he goes on like this.

In modern family when Jay said something sexist to his lovely wife Gloria she responded " That's so funny me and next husband will laugh about it. " That shut Jay right down.

Refer to him as Useless Husband. See how he likes it.
Seriously though, it's not funny. I'd be having words.

Sympathies. When these 'unfunny' guys are well and truly cornered they ALWAYS play the "it's just a joke" card. How original - not.

Or: "it's a bit of banter!"
And: "you've no sense of humour, that's your trouble!"
And the last resort: "I suppose it's your hormones......."

(The last one should be a hanging offence.)

It's not funny and it's boorish and demeaning. I wouldn't put up with it.

OP, I'm saying this to point out how fundamental it is. Not to belittle you.

I'm a primary school teacher and every autumn term we have Anti Bullying Week.

One of basic messages we instill in the childen is that it's only a joke if everyone is laughing. Otherwise it's bullying.

If that's a message we expect young children to understand, it's certainly one your husband can understand.

It's not a joke. He's bullying you.

The whole 'Nag wife' thing is deliberately designed to make you LESS likely to ask him to do anything ffs, and you're falling for it !

He's making you feel 'uncomfortable' and 'less' than him and HIS 'big' or 'important' things (like feckin gaming or his social activities or gym etc)

He has cast you in the role of 'Mum' and 'maid', with frequent short spells as 'sex doll' no doubt 🙄and he's even broadcasting his 'control' over you by advertising how he views you on his phone ffs !

The 'it's only a joke' or 'you're too sensitive' crap is simply that, crap.

He knows it upsets you, and he chooses to continue to do it.

That, in itself, tells you how little he cares for you.

He doesn't love you if he's happy to deliberately upset you.

He doesn't respect you when he actively undermines you.

He doesn't see you as his equal (and never will), you're simply the 'help'.

It's up to you to decide whether or not you're happy with a husband who doesn't love, respect or value you...

I understand the motivation to retaliate with a similar joke name for him, but I think in cases where you want to be taken seriously it pays to act serious. So would very straight up tell him to stop, and that it enormously hurts my feelings, and is not a joke to me. Regardless of whether he tries to pull a "lighten up its just a joke" just stick to "but it really hurts me, so please stop".

If he won't stop despite the above, he's just a pratt, and that would make me question my marriage to be honest.

Unacceptable, and indicates a lack of respect has been shoehorned into the relationship.
I bet if you (justifiably) rocked the boat and challenged him, he'd retreat and accuse you of "not having a sense of humour!"
Yeah, that old chestnut.

It's not a joke if it's upsetting you. I'd be particularly hurt at having that name saved on his phone.

My ex used to make fun of my personal appearance. He'd point out any spots I had, comment on how pale my skin was. When I asked him not to he'd say it was a joke. It's not funny when the other person is not laughing.

Change his name to small prick husband. Put it in your phone. Anytime he asks something of you say 'yes small prick husband.'

It's his way of silencing you so you feel like you can't ask him to do stuff, it also creates a narrative that the home stuff is your responsibility

It is not a joke. He's just a misogynistic asshole that wants to put you into your place and frame it as a joke to try to take away your right to be offended when he insults you.

Your relationship with him is in trouble. What a disrespectful bully. You deserve and should demand better.

Look at the The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling (Gotman) the behaviours that predict relationship failing.

If were my husband he would, quite rightly, be crowned: Mister Dickhead.
With knobs on.

”I don't even think I nag that much, but he says it (as a joke, apparently) every time I ask him to do anything.”

If you don’t find it funny you need to really tell him how it makes you feel or that you don’t like it. Hopefully he’ll respect that you don’t enjoy it and stop. It could be that you do nag him but then ask him why you are having to nag him whilst you’re tidying up, why isn’t he helping?

There's no care, love or respect here is there?