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Original poster

Husband calls me 'Nag Wife'

215 replies

anonymouslt123 · 27/07/2024 07:20

Hi mumsnet. Posting with a throwaway account.

My husband (35M), married for 3 years, has been calling me 'Nag Wife' as a nickname. I don't even think I nag that much, but he says it (as a joke, apparently) every time I ask him to do anything. Like, he'll call me Nag Wife while I'm vacuuming or cleaning up after him, or say that washing up etc are 'Nag Wife activities'. I know it's a joke (and I actually don't mind doing the housework), but is it? His latest 'joke' is to do a fake dejected sigh any time I ask him to do anything, like make me a cup of tea, and say 'Yes Nag Wife'.

He even has me saved in his phone as Nag Wife...

I spoke to him and he says it's a joke, but am I being disrespected? Or am I overthinking things?

OP posts:
grapesstrawberriesplease · 27/07/2024 10:57

Your husband is a wan**r and you need to have more respect for yourself. Why are you ‘asking’ a fully grown man to do housework? He lives there too? Why are you cleaning up after him? He sounds god awful.

Jokes are meant to be funny, this isn’t. It’s disrespect.

StripeyDeckchair · 27/07/2024 10:42

That is SO rude
And nasty

I'd start referring to him as Lazy CF husband all the time and see how he likes it

Birdahoy · 27/07/2024 10:41

You need a new husband.

or just start calling ‘lazy fuck’.

Disturbia81 · 27/07/2024 10:34

Luio · 27/07/2024 10:19

There are moments in some relationships where you cease to find your partner attractive because of something they do or say. This would do it for me. The ick would set in.

This.
They are equally his jobs. Calling you that is awful and would affect how I see him. My vagina would dry up quicker than the sahara.

jannier · 27/07/2024 10:32

It's nasty ....
I don't get the asking him to help me.....it's not helping you it's both your jobs to do housework and cooking etc....he should just do his share presumably you both work so you both get in do chores then both relax.

TeaGinandFags · 27/07/2024 10:32

It's just a joke is the excuse men give when they can't justify their actions.

He needs a proper punchline. Try a divorce lawyer.

Meanwhile, go on strike and let him fetch and carry. Say nothing. Just sit back and watch. His response will be telling.

FreightTrain · 27/07/2024 10:28

Yeah he's a dick. You don't need to ask if you're being disrespected, you know you are.

What he should be saying when you do household chores is thank you. Just like you should thank him when he does household chores (without needing to be asked to do so, because he's an adult human).

He sounds like a loser.

Luio · 27/07/2024 10:19

There are moments in some relationships where you cease to find your partner attractive because of something they do or say. This would do it for me. The ick would set in.

Candlelights1 · 27/07/2024 10:15

perfectstorm · 27/07/2024 09:10

I'd be calling him the Ex Husband.

My friends sister was married to a selfish lazy man.
Whilst their father was dying he did the least he could get away with and she was very pissed off about it.
She changed her phone to Ex husband and when he saw it she said that was how she saw him, particularly as she would be receiving a substantial inheritance.
He was stunned and upped his game massively. She hasn't divorced him to date, but she also has kept HER inheritance completely separate, solely in her name.

MilkyWayAtoms · 27/07/2024 10:11

Tell he's a bit young for boomer "humour". Does he think MIL jokes are hilarious too?

Velvetcatfur · 27/07/2024 09:57

My Nickname for him would be IDLE COCK 😂 as he can't be called Cock Lodger as he is married to you . Just call him this when he berates you when you are cleaning and cooking. Save it as your ring tone too 😂

Allfur · 27/07/2024 09:48

Get a cleaner, stop doing anything around the house for him

TinySmol · 27/07/2024 09:45

He has no respect for you.

I'd be handing him his divorce papers.

InSpainTheRain · 27/07/2024 09:36

He sounds horrible. You probably have to ask him to do things because he doesn't nothing voluntarily and skips off any domestic chores - am I right? If he has other redeeming qualities (god knows what) and you want to stay then I'd say sit down and have a serious discussion with him. But do you want to be with someone who is abusive and doesn't pull their weight? I'd be tempted to save his number as Dick Head.

crumblingschools · 27/07/2024 09:27

@Growlybear83 I think you have a low bar if you think what OP is describing is light hearted

Ger1atricMillennial · 27/07/2024 09:26

Growlybear83 · 27/07/2024 09:18

I think you're overthinking things and from what you've said in your post, it sounds light hearted and wouldn't bother me. My husband has referred to me as the Old Trout for most of the time we've been together - I'm in his phone contacts as OT, and cards are usually addressed to the Old Trout.

Someone who loves you compares you to an old fish.....?

cupcaske123 · 27/07/2024 09:24

Growlybear83 · 27/07/2024 09:18

I think you're overthinking things and from what you've said in your post, it sounds light hearted and wouldn't bother me. My husband has referred to me as the Old Trout for most of the time we've been together - I'm in his phone contacts as OT, and cards are usually addressed to the Old Trout.

He's not pulling his weight around the home and is disrespecting her when she asks him to help. That's very different to an affectionate nick name.

Ger1atricMillennial · 27/07/2024 09:19

Love the suggestion for "first husband"... how about just straight up "sexist pig"

Bit gross in reality... the second that he saved me as that in his phone, I would be moving into another bedroom.

Growlybear83 · 27/07/2024 09:18

I think you're overthinking things and from what you've said in your post, it sounds light hearted and wouldn't bother me. My husband has referred to me as the Old Trout for most of the time we've been together - I'm in his phone contacts as OT, and cards are usually addressed to the Old Trout.

GingerPirate · 27/07/2024 09:17

Hugmorecats · 27/07/2024 07:36

Your new name for him whenever he calls you that can be ‘Twat husband’. It’s okay, it’s a joke!

This, or more likely divorce.
Maybe it's my age, 45, but who TF does he think he is?
I lived on my own and a married life (fairly decent husband).
Guess which life is better?

GHSP · 27/07/2024 09:17

I think your new name for him should be ex-husband. You don’t have to be treated like this. He’s three years into a marriage and being this much of a dick? It’s not going to get better.

bonzaitree · 27/07/2024 09:15

I think you need to lose your shit.

AzureAnt · 27/07/2024 09:12

Little willy. And every time he enters the room start singing Little willy won't go home.Especially when you have company

ilikemethewayiam · 27/07/2024 09:12

Parkmybentley · 27/07/2024 07:35

You are massively underreacting OP. He has no respect for you. The relationship is doomed unless you go nuclear and he changes by some miracle. Also you need counselling for yourself, this shouldn't even be a question.

Absolutely this ^

perfectstorm · 27/07/2024 09:10

I'd be calling him the Ex Husband.

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