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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my adult niece and nephew to call my Aunty Emma?

284 replies

egaley · 27/07/2024 07:05

AIBU? Am I old fashioned?

I have an adult nephew and niece (28 and 26). They have always called me Aunty Emma.

We were having a big family meal and my cheeky nephew called me just “Emma” when he wanted to say something. I corrected him and asked him why he called me Emma, my name is Aunty Emma!

OP posts:
betterangels · 27/07/2024 11:09

I've never called them auntie and uncle. Would find it especially strange to do as an adult.

RisingSunn · 27/07/2024 11:09

YANBU. I would never call my Aunt or Uncle by their first names. Just for respect really. That’s just how I was raised though.

LordPercyPercy · 27/07/2024 11:07

My nephews and niece have always just called me by my name. Mind you I was ten when the first one rocked up.

Bellyblueboy · 27/07/2024 11:06

i am very close to my neices and nephew - I see them at least twice a week and they stay with me regularly.

they dropped the aunty title when the eldest boy was about ten. We were out with lots of kids who all called me by my first name - so he joined in. It was shorter and easier to yell across a trampoline park.

the title is meaningless - it’s the relationship that counts. He is a teen now and I know he would never address me infront of his mates if he had to call me aunty😂.

Tricho · 27/07/2024 11:02

I'm in my mid 30s and could nevr imagine calling my aunties by their first name only!

EmoCourt · 27/07/2024 11:02

godmum56 · 27/07/2024 10:59

doubt it. while I am definitely working class, i am equally definitely NOT ordinary. Make of that what you will.

Show quote history

Yes, working-class and ‘ordinary’ being synonymous is a weird idea.

EmoCourt · 27/07/2024 11:01

honestyISkind · 27/07/2024 10:42

Yep, it's a class thing. Ordinary people like aunt or auntie. Snobs don't. And mumsnet is filled with snobs.

I agree it’s partly a class thing (though also an ethnicity/culture thing), but while sure, it’s a class indicator, I don’t think that deciding that only certain social classes are ‘ordinary’ is that helpful. I mean, upper-middles and the UC are also ‘ordinary’ to themselves. People who think that ‘pardon’ is a worse word than ‘fuck’ are also ‘ordinary’ in their own eyes.

godmum56 · 27/07/2024 10:59

honestyISkind · 27/07/2024 10:42

Yep, it's a class thing. Ordinary people like aunt or auntie. Snobs don't. And mumsnet is filled with snobs.

doubt it. while I am definitely working class, i am equally definitely NOT ordinary. Make of that what you will.

Werweisswohin · 27/07/2024 10:57

The niece and nephew I'm closest too still call me that and they're in their 20s, but I wouldn't object if they called me my name.

CelesteCunningham · 27/07/2024 10:56

honestyISkind · 27/07/2024 10:42

Yep, it's a class thing. Ordinary people like aunt or auntie. Snobs don't. And mumsnet is filled with snobs.

Really?! That's fascinating. Just when I think MN had given me some understanding of class in Britain, then along comes another signifier I was utterly clueless about. Grin

Hadjab · 27/07/2024 10:56

I’m 53, and I wouldn’t dream of calling my elders anything other than aunty & uncle, but I’m from an ethnic background which requires young’uns to show respect to their elders, even if you’re not directly related.

IncompleteSenten · 27/07/2024 10:52

Greyrockin · 27/07/2024 10:49

Not the point of the thread - but is it aunty with a ‘Y’ or auntie with ‘IE’?

I sign off as “aunty” Grey, but my nieces write “auntie” Grey

Either is fine.

Greyrockin · 27/07/2024 10:49

Not the point of the thread - but is it aunty with a ‘Y’ or auntie with ‘IE’?

I sign off as “aunty” Grey, but my nieces write “auntie” Grey

viques · 27/07/2024 10:49

I think if you check your birth certificate you will find your name is Emma.

It used to be that every adult friend of your parents was given the Aunt or Uncle title, but thankfully that went the way of using vim to clean the bath. Titles for parents and grandparents I am happy with, but unless the aunt or uncle is over 70, then first names are perfectly ok, especially for adult nephews and nieces.

CoffeeCantata · 27/07/2024 10:49

I think, within families, both sides have to be happy with what people are called. To outsiders you can be more dictatorial but with close relations it has to be negotiated.

My children always called my sister by her actual forename, not 'aunty' (and I'm pretty traditional). It didn't bother anyone.

Another2Cats · 27/07/2024 10:46

Anewuser · 27/07/2024 10:22

Things have changed @egaley

If adults wants to call their extended family by titles then great, but most people drop the aunt bit when they grow up.

I think you’d be totally shocked if you went to a special school, the children refer to the teacher by their Christian name not Mr/Mrs etc.

"...but most people drop the aunt bit when they grow up."

Judging from the replies here you seem to be mistaken. The replies seem to be split about equally, so saying that "most people" do that doesn't seem to be the case.

IncompleteSenten · 27/07/2024 10:45

I don't think you are unreasonable .
I think everyone has the right to be addressed in the way they prefer.

I have a lot of nieces and nephews, including some that are only about ten years younger than I am and they (and their children) all call me auntie. It would be considered very rude for them to call me just by my first name.

AssassinsEyebrow · 27/07/2024 10:45

@egaley could you compromise and ask that she still call you Aunty in cards? Explain that (I'm assuming) your relationship to them as your aunt is really important to you

Bit weird to insist they call you aunty tho.

godmum56 · 27/07/2024 10:45

LittleRedHen77 · 27/07/2024 10:26

This makes sense. I was reading through so confused about the number of people saying it's a cultural thing. I'm white British and until this thread it had never occurred to me I should have dropped the aunt and uncle once an adult, I'm amazed that so many people disagree. I don't think it's a cultural thing as in my northern town it is normal to say aunt and uncle when talking to or about family. A class thing makes more sense, especially given the tone of some of the posts.

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I don't think its a "should" or "shouldn't" thing...

honestyISkind · 27/07/2024 10:42

Yep, it's a class thing. Ordinary people like aunt or auntie. Snobs don't. And mumsnet is filled with snobs.

Nanny0gg · 27/07/2024 10:41

egaley · 27/07/2024 07:05

AIBU? Am I old fashioned?

I have an adult nephew and niece (28 and 26). They have always called me Aunty Emma.

We were having a big family meal and my cheeky nephew called me just “Emma” when he wanted to say something. I corrected him and asked him why he called me Emma, my name is Aunty Emma!

Don't know how old you are but I'm 70 and in my family I did still call my aunts and uncles that but my older sister didn't

And my nieces and nephews stopped when they hit 21. I was quite happy with that

Just like when children move on from mummy and daddy to mum and dad

kittylion2 · 27/07/2024 10:39

I suppose it is old-fashioned. It makes me sad though - I liked being an Aunty. 😢

LuckySantangelo35 · 27/07/2024 10:38

Don’t be cringe OP

MaltipooMama · 27/07/2024 10:35

@Snorrrring YES!!! It's exactly that feeling! It's like one day waking up and realising that your partner's real name was actually something different and now that's what you have to call them, it's so bloody stupid but this is how I would feel 😂

Dontcallmescarface · 27/07/2024 10:34

I told my nieces and nephews that once they got to 18 then if they wanted to drop the "aunt" and just call me by my name that was fine with me....none of them have and I'm still called "auntie Scar". I did insist though that their DC were never, under any circumstances, to call me "Great Aunt Scar" though. 😆