Not trying to be inflammatory but why do people *need* more than two kids?

Thankyou for this insight. The implications are so many and so consequential.
I can't imagine life without my multiple siblings, in-laws, aunties, uncles, nephews, nieces and cousins.

I'm actually interested in this, too. I understand that people could want more than 2 children, a lot of families I know seem to think 3 is the perfect number. But if you have 1 and struggling already, why have more? I know of women with kids finding a new partner and having another child together - and this happening several times, so woman ends up with several kids from different dads. More likely than not not able to work, and struggling financially. This I cant understand, sorry.

Don’t see the oroblem as long as they can afford them and genuinely want to spend time and effort raising them

No one needs a child in the sense we can all survive without one (or 3)

But if you feel broody for a baby, very little logic comes into it. I've got two DC and the baby urge is gone (had my youngest at 29 so it went quite early for me). But prior to having them I was baby obsessed. It's a biological urge. If you've not had that, I can see why having 1,2,3+ kids would seem like a decision you can just make logically, but it's not.

Of course you can ignore it, and in some circumstances that is the best thing to do, but if you're in a position to have a child and you want one, very little would dissuade a broody woman otherwise IME.

It was merely an observation. That's all. Years ago there used to be more posters posting about how little money they have. I see fewer of these kind of posts these days.

I'd read it was 40 workers per pensioner when it started and they discussed whether it was sustainable then.

Nobody needs them in the sense that survival is not possible without them, but a lot of people like to have them and find their lives enriched by them. I agree that if you have them, you should do it on your own dime. State-supported large families should not be a thing.

Spare parts.

I don't think you touched a nerve, I think @MissedItByThisMuch was just horrified at how small minded you are 🤔 She's not alone in this though!

Nobody worried overly about other people’s family size (bar the odd bored and spiteful kind of idiot who’d spout on about “breeders”) before the Tories started their nasty divisive rhetoric. It’s embarrassing how many people have been so taken in by it that they openly cheerlead the inherently misogynistic and discriminatory benefit cap. When I hear someone express support for it, I wonder about their state of mind. Are they cruel or just a bit dim?

I think it also depends on your upbringing. I’m one of 3 (I also have a sibling from a parents second marriage) I love my sisters - but my experience growing up in poverty influenced my decision to only have 2. With a 6 year age gap to ensure we could afford it.

My parents both had jobs - but not ones they enjoyed or progressed in. To go on holiday once a year my Dad would took on second jobs and during the summer would have students staying in our bedrooms.

It’s more than just being able to afford it. My middle sister was bloody hard work growing up and it affected both me and my younger sister. I think if my parents had a crystal ball they may have not had a 3rd with how challenging the middle one is! It affected the parenting for the rest of us!

I would have loved my own space and room growing up - I’ve read here having your own room doesn’t matter - it really does. Having space to study away from the crazy would have helped.

I also would have liked more children but knew I wanted them to have their own rooms, and choices. We only go on holiday every other year so it’s not about holidays! Now my eldest has just finished uni we’ve been able to support her and make sure she has the opportunities we never had growing up. Driving lessons and helping her buy a car - insurance. Also, it’s expensive for her to move out so she coming back home to her bedroom to start her grad job.

A woman in my local area has 10 children. The eldest is in her 20s, youngest is 1yo.

Why not? lol

I've worked in child protection and that is not true in my experience.

🤣🤣🤣

I had 4 for shits and giggles.

It's funny, because no-one has EVER asked my DH who is looking after the kids. Sexism at play.

I have no family support to care for the kids. I do some very part-time academic work in the evenings when DH has the kids. I home-school them and take them to lots of places during the day. This way they get more opportunities. No reliance on parents here.

I don't have to work at all, I just to it to keep my hand in. I could easily go full time but would rather be with my kids.

Most of my kids are actually grown now and they are very complementary about their childhood and us as parents. My mother had two kids and was pretty emotionally unavailable and I definitely did not have support to have my needs met. I have aspired to be different and it seems I am succeeding.

Because I accidentally had one at 21. I always wanted two. However, being so young I wasn’t in a financial position to have another at the time. I wasn’t exactly happy in my relationship with the father either.

At 27, I have now built a good career and I’ve found a loving, amazing partner. In the next couple of years I would like to have two more children as I’d like the experience of watching two close in age grow up together- and I don’t want my first born to feel like it’s just him and another baby…I think he’d adapt better if he’s the older one with two younger siblings.

I can afford it and it’s something I’ve always wanted. It will have an impact on my career somewhat as I’d like to go part-time for a little while afterwards (like I did when I had my first). Nevertheless, we can manage and I have my partner’s support.

So, my question is, why wouldn’t I?

Starter knows that most people think that you should only have the kids you can afford, and agree with the cap. Child protection families mostly have large numbers of kids......

This is really quite insightful and I think you may be onto something there

I’m so sorry for your loss, I also lost my first (late in second trimester) and I do feel that kick started what became my obsession with having a baby in my arms .

It's only a problem for humans, for every other life form on the planet, its brilliant news. I'm with them.

One can have as many kids as they want, provided they can care for them, emotionally and more importantly financially.

Immigration, but some people aren't very keen on that.

I have a very large family. Don’t want to say an exact number but it’s more than 7 and less than 10!

I have ASD and I don’t usually tell anyone this ever but it’s an obsession and I can’t stop until age no longer allows me to have dc.

Why do we need this thread?
Or any of the latest ones with stupid questions?
Like the one asking why people get married?
This sounds like a non- human action, to be honest.
Who needs to ask these questions? No one. They may not want children or marriage, or to buy a home, or a car, or to work, or to sleep 8 hours or whatever.
But nobody needs to ask other why they want to.
I am fed up of the why.....? Threads that make zero human sense.