Nobody needs any children. It’s absolutely bonkers that people are claiming those who have 3+ children drifeted there through sheer boredom, are stealing their futures by mapping out their lives to be future carers, can’t get them to wash, clean their teeth, change their beds and buy shoes, can’t spend time with them or help them with homework, and either have to be on the breadline or mega wealthy and the children are raised by nannies and schools, but one less child - the “needed” 2 children - are all normal middle income families who wouldn’t dream of making their dc share a room or wear hand me downs or claim benefits or use nannies or private schools to “raise their kids for them”. As an aside I didn’t know that if you were and only child or one of 2 then you were off the hook in terms of doing anything for your elderly parents. I’m one of 4, but my mother always was a devious bugger. I guess I will continue to visit.
I have 4. I don’t “need” them. I want them - all of them. I have a successful career (full time nhs band 7 clinical role with leadership and educational responsibilities - not a brain surgeon or stock market trader but a perfectly decent job). I’ve never used a nanny or private school or claimed benefits (used to get cb when it was universal but don’t now). They all have their own room but have all shared through choice at various points. They all get new shoes. No fillings (4 sets of braces) but we have had to get private dental as we are in a dental desert. They strip their own beds and make them up and really are old enough (14+) to put a wash on anyway, even if they were only children. They can all cook. They have all (so far) done well academically although one has needed loads of extra support (including speech therapy - not sure why anyone would think he couldn’t have this as part of a bigger family) as he had significant developmental delay as well as some health needs but is doing incredibly well. All have done several extra curriculars including 2 in sports at county level. 2 are now at (good) universities.
I did take 7 full years out to be a sahm. I don’t think it was a bad thing to do and, although it was difficult initially to get my career back, it was certainly possible. I was never bored or lonely as a sahm, I really enjoyed it, and I finished my masters pt in that period and some bank work and helped grow DHs business. I will still have 40 years of full time work when I get to 68 (will go pt earlier if poss) - 7 years doing something different is no big deal. My dh is self employed and earned enough to support us when I was a sahm (plus I did have some income and we deliberately moved to a cheap area and aren’t big spenders anyway).
Raising my children has been the biggest pleasure and privilege of my life. It’s really nothing to do with me if other people can’t get more than 2 dc to brush their teeth and are maxed out after stripping 2 beds. I can - I can do lots of things really quite well. You can be only responsible for yourself and not brush your teeth properly or change your bed. Not entirely sure whats wrong with second hand clothes. The biggest Vinted Queen I know has no dc at all.