Not trying to be inflammatory but why do people *need* more than two kids?

And alot of people aren't in a position to provide for the number of children that they have

….. and for households like ours, who do earn it and have never taken child benefit…?

Children really should be capped. Cannot stand all this govt payout to families. Earn it.

OP, are you a journalist or government official trying to test public opinion on the two-child limit on universal credit 😉.

In any case, it’s pointless scrapping it without scrapping the household benefit cap too. Or those families struggling the most won’t get the extra money and will be no better off.

I can’t understand why anyone would have a view on how many children people should have. It’s an entirely personal choice. People who don’t have children are constantly asked why, especially women. Then, people who have a child are asked if they want another. Then, people who have more are judged as having too many 😂.

In terms of social security, I want to live in a society where families with children who are struggling financially get the help they need to live a healthy life. Denying enough help to parents, based on an arbitrary moral judgement of what’s acceptable, means the children suffer.

What more important thing is there to spend tax money on than children growing up safe and healthy?

People don't 'need' children. Our planet is stuffed.

It might be a biological 'need' that many fulfil but it's ultimately the most selfish thing you can do, because you're doing it purely to satisfy your own personal wants. Not saying that like it's a bad thing btw!

I feel like it can go either way. Either you loved growing up in a large family and want one yourself or hated it and want peace and quiet as an adult. My partner's cousins are an example - there were five of them. The eldest has three kids, the next one down is absolutely adamant he doesn't want any at all!

My grandma (dad's mum) was one of six. Three of her siblings went on to have four children and one had five.

My mother was the youngest of ten (by five years), one died in his 20s but the other nine married. They did not have big families, mostly two children, three had one child, two had three (the last baby unplanned).

I don’t know anyone from a large group of siblings that has decided to have more than 2 or the occasional 3 themselves.

My mum was 1 of 7 & had 4, her siblings have a mix of 3 & 4. physically, financially and logistically I think it’s quite hard to have had more than 4 then or even 2 these days. My mum would have liked more but met my dad quite late (in those days). I would have had more but physically don’t do well with pregnancy.

I ve always felt really sad for people who don't get on with their only sibling. My elsest sib did once accidentally say our parents had too many children. The youngest quipped "which of us would you send back?" and we all laughed. At one of our crazy big gatherings that we have three or four times a year.

Maybe it's less intense as there are so many of us.

It’s hellishly busy, that’s for sure. But my husband is self employed and works to his own hours so school/club/social runs are shared. We’re both on call for homework etc. We’re both very organised people, which helps! We’ve both been, without exception, to every class assembly, play, parents evening, sports day etc of each of our children so I don’t think they’ve missed out. It’s a busy life, but not a hard one. For us, obviously- not speaking for all parents of big families!

Maybe baby number 2 turned out to be twins?

Oh just ignore all these comments and opinions. It's just noise!
Couples get criticised of if they have only child, if they have two boys or two girls, if they have more than two kids, if they have no children. Someone will always have a negative opinion. Sometimes it's jealousy, sometimes they're just mean spirited people who like to criticise. You enjoy your family.

sunflower of course it's great when it works well but you can't assume that just because you have a 'large' family you will end up surrounded by grandchildren and great grandchildren who all love you and want to spend time with you. I spend quite a bit of time volunteering with elderly people and many of them have zero contact with their adult DC & DGC ... yes, maybe some of them are toxic and difficult but surely not all of them. There are no guarantees in life.

When they are 80 and surrounded by children, grand children and great grandchildren they might consider that actually being a full time mum was a great 'job'. There will come a time (if you live long enough) when your career and how many holidays you went on and how many gucci bags you have etc will matter a lot less. I think women who sacrifice their jobs (because most people have jobs not 'careers') to have children and raise them full time are awesome and in the long term it will all pay off for them in older age when they have a bunch of people still around who care about them.

It probably works both ways. I’m one of 2 and then desired a larger family.

I'm last of 5, husband middle of 6. We both loved growing our large families (each in a 3 bedroomed house, oh the humanity!)

There was 7 years between my oldest sibling and me, so I wasn't raised by them, but my mum was a capable and resourceful SAHM, who went back to work when i was about 10 or so. I do remember us all being around the table together, we ate together every night.

My husband and I wanted a big family, decided we were too tired after 3 as little one wasn't a good sleeper. If they had slept better number 4 would probably be on the way.

Our (nuclear) family is fun of love and laughter, the children play together and rush to comfort each other if someone falls.

When we get together with the wider families it's even more fun. Family sizes range from 0 to 4 children.

Edited to add that we all brush our teeth twice a day!

What?? 😂😂😂 I think it might just be the circles you move in. Do you not know any families with more than 2 grown up, well adjusted, high achieving children? I can think of multiple families off the top of my head who had 4 kids, all emotionally intelligent, good jobs, happy families, lots of interests and guess what…. Perfect hygiene! I’m one of 2 so not biased here.

We had two because we wanted two- I'd like more.
I pay my own way in life so does my husband and we pay our children's way, no benefits, take nothing from anyone that way they can't come looking it back.
Benefits system doesn't affect my life decisions

No one needs any kids babes. The human race does, but not the planet or the individual. I have 3 because I wanted 3. Not really sure what child benefit has to do with it, we never have claimed child benefit.

I wouldn't consider 3 kids a "big family". A "big family" starts at 5 if you ask me. If you're judging families of three children then that's quite a large percentage of the population to be accusing of not teaching their children to brush their teeth or wash.

Are you Mao Zedong?

I am one of four and I have four.

But most families use those services, and with a larger family you will have more tax payers in the future.

You do know that some people have more hospital treatment than others, shall we call them out?

Nailed it 😂I feel exposed

My husband and I are both one of four.

We're both very close to our families and have loads to do with them. Have a proper meal together or day together on a regular basis - we have DHs sister and family in tomorrow for a bbq, I'm going out with his other sister on Tuesday and my brother and his wife and kid are coming to stay with us over Bank Holiday.

We've had 3 kids.

My grandma had 10 🤣🤣🤣🤣 - because….. she wanted to. And - shock horror….. she didn’t get any benefits (didn’t live here) - she laughed at me when I said two of mine were a handful ☠️😂