Not trying to be inflammatory but why do people *need* more than two kids?

That's good to hear! Although I'm sure you'd be in the minority with that. What about everything else that they use? Theres four of them so your family is taking more than the average.

We pay for their schooling. An absolute fortune every year - plus the tax we pay for them not to attend state school. We haven’t needed to see a gp in years and if we needed to now, it’d be through BUPA. I hope that allays some of your fears.

My mum had four of us, both my parents worked and mum was never on the dole.
I will like only one child, maybe two. My partner has three so if I have one with him he will have 4/5
I'm not from a big family but it must be nice to be and I don't think there is anything wrong with having more than 2 if you work and can afford them.
So selfish to bring up kids when you live in poverty

Assuming they will be high earning tax payers. Who has paid for their schooling, dr etc given their are only 2 parents? This argument/midel makes no sense, we should all pay for ourselves plus a buffer to allow for the vulnerable. A high earning single, childless person pays the most tax and gets the least back for it.

Good for you then. My 4 kids are making up for the fact some people have chosen to have none. When you are old, my children will be tax payers, contributing to your care.

I do. I know multiple women with 4 kids and solid jobs ranging from middle management to quite senior/specialised fields. It can be done. I have 3 and work full time in a busy job.

I’m presuming you don’t have any kids then. Because if you’re worried about everyone ‘going to hell in a handcart’ then the only sensible option for the earth is to have no children.

@ConstantlyFuriosa they'll just say we need future tax payers and should be thanking them. Or that overpopulation is a myth and the whole planet's population could fit inside Texas.

I don't get this either. Surely everyone having new things all the time is very wasteful?

I must admit, I also make mine do their own laundry and strip and wash their own bedding. I don't think this is neglectful however, quite the opposite.

I always wanted 3 or 4, in reality once I had one I wouldn't have had 4 as you need a supportive community or family for that, I believe. I feel single children are very alone in life and 2 kids have only 1 sibling relationship. Having 2 or more sibling relationships is a wonderful thing. When growing up the happiest families I knew had 4 or 5, anything beyond that and it became chaotic. After having 1 I had secondary infertility and while some people could have accepted one I found this to be very wrong. Lucky for me iVF worked and better still I was blessed with twins. I feel 3 is just right!

And yes, those that don’t have them should be putting a little bit towards that encouragement via tax.

We already do if you consider how much we pay in versus how much we get out.

Any government which proposed to tax me more because my reproductive organs had to be removed from me at a young age would see me seriously consider emigrating.

We also have no benefits but pay a lot of taxes as we need to earn well to afford our children.

also from a large family myself and all siblings also have what you call large families now

Some friends of ours “had to” have a big family because they both came from big families. Now they just complain about how expensive 4 kids are and regularly talk about how badly their childhoods have affected them.

Because somebody is going to have to be in the workforce, paying taxes, to make sure you have a reasonable old age.

If you want to see what happens when people don't reproduce take a look at Japan.

Yes, people do tend to get offended when someone makes offensive and inaccurate assumptions about their family.

I could easily say only people who have two or fewer children are only doing so because they are unable to parent adequately. Maybe your children would suffer if you had more than two – that cannot be applied to everyone. You have a very immature perspective on life if you really can’t comprehend that not everyone is the same.

Seems a stupid question.
Why does anybody need to go out for dinner?
Why does anybody need colourful clothes?
Why does anybody need ice cream?
Why does anybody need friends?
Why does anybody have anything they can survive without? Does not needing something mean you should not have it even if you can get it?

As you said, you are not taking child benefit. You can afford to have children without help.

I didn't 'need' any of them but had DS & wanted a sibling for him & then had twins. 🤷‍♂️

I'm one of 4 and DP one of 5. We have 2 and all our siblings have a maximum of 2 or none at all.

I think large families these days are a lifestyle choice. More so than having 1 or two.

I'm in the thick of it currently with 2 under 2. I've met a couple of mums on maternity leave on their fourth or fifth. Ive met one of her seventh!

They've all varied in terms of class/income. But one thing they all have in common is that it's a way of life. I'm NOT saying this in a bad way btw. But it has to be. Currently my life is hectic with 2 under 2 and really full on. But I know it's just a phase. In 2/3 years it will be completely different. I'll resume my hobbies and social life. I may go from 3 days a week to more days. My dining room will have an actual dining table in it and no longer be a playroom. I will no longer have a huge nappy bag/prams etc whenever I leave the house.

But with big families it isn't a short life phase. This hectic/busy phase is it. It's a way of life and you've gotta be 100% in.

These mum's I've met including my own mum and in-laws (not met the dad's) live this busy in 'the thick of it' way long term. The mum's I've met have been wonderful, kind, knowledgeable women who really adore family life. They'll have the full sha'bang, all in. They'll have the family pets (dog, cats, hamsters, guinea pigs etc). They'll have house set up long term for kids e.g swings in the garden installed into the concrete so can't be folded away. Everything is set up long term for that lifestyle.
Their social life is usually other mum friends or family. Their hobbies are volunteering at their kids hobbies etc.

To be honest I don't think you can have a big family and not be this way, especially if you want to be a fully present parent. These mum's love it and it's their lifestyle choice.

So long as the kids are cared for and loved it's no issue really.

Never had a penny in child benefit, for any of my 3 children. Am I allowed to
keep mine?

How odd to describe the concern about avoidable child poverty as “hysterical shrieking”. Hyperbole to say the least, and the sign of a very callous nature.