Not trying to be inflammatory but why do people *need* more than two kids?

I have 3 kids. But that was because I had DS1 when I was a teenager, so when I had DS2, DS1 was nearly 11 and I wanted a sibling close in age for DS2 as I think DS1 was lonely growing up as a single child until he was 10. But also I wanted another baby, and I also wanted to see if after 2 boys I might have a DD. But overwhelming it was because I wanted another child. If they were all close in age I don’t think I’d have had 3. Not least because of the close of full time (or 4 days a week as I later went to) nursery cost.

The majority of my friends have 2 children, all are same sex siblings. The only friend I know with more than 2 went for 4. They are all grown up now having kids of their own. She didn’t struggle with 4, and they are all really close which I think is lovely.

We asked ourselves that too and sadly the answer was no. I'd have loved a third child but DH was more realistic.

Each to their own. I like the chaos. There’s never a dull moment. I can’t imagine why you think someone with lots of children doesn’t get any sleep though? I’ve had years of full nights’ sleep since my youngest slept through.

I truly believe that some selfish people consciously decide to have a child/children as an "insurance policy" against old age. The worst possible reason for producing a child - their life, their future has been mapped out and "stolen" by a devious parent before they can even get on to the Ladder of Life.

I can't imagine wanting loads of children. I hate the chaos and drudgery that this would entail. I also like my sleep.

I don't understand how you tackle overpopulation at the same time though-genuinely asking, not being goady. My mum's a baby boomer and there were 54 kids in her class! That was always going to be a problem down the line, surely we can't keep having kids and pushing the can further along the road whilst the world runs out of resources?

We never had a child we couldn't afford. A popular question is how many bedrooms we have...6. I'm a SAHM. My husband is a very hands on Dad. 8 seater van. Holidays once a year, two last year. Extra curricular activities...archery, netball, piano x 3, rugby, rugby tots, choir, swimming. We just had a request for trombone. Grammar school for my child in secondary. 1:1 time is regular between my husband and I. What's missing? We have a cat. I'm wondering what two kid families have that I'm depriving my five kids of?

High birth rate is an extremely serious environmental problem. And that's also an understatement.

What is the answer?

4 kids here and I have a great career.

I had 2 of one sex, and then wanted another which we could easily afford and then had twins.

The people I know with 4+ kids are either very well off (women have high powered careers and nannies) - all kids in private school as with pp above. Or just scraping by eg minimum wage + family credit so issues like cars, holidays, expensive hobbies don't figure in the 'can we afford it' questions which the more middle class people think about.

I know several of the poorer type who have produced multiple kids after benefit cap introduced. I have no idea how they are managing.

Love being pregnant, love babies, love toddlers, love primary age, slight less love for the teenagers, love the adults, love the big family gatherings. I have 4 but would have happily have had 6, I just couldn't because of circumstances.

That is fine if that is what they want or have chosen for whatever reason. It's not what I wanted so I did what I wanted.

Low birth rate is an extremely serious demographic problem. And that's an understatement.

Most families have 1 dc.

”There are estimated to be around 3.7 million one-child families in the United Kingdom as of 2023, with a further 3.38 million two-child families, and 1.18 million families that have three or more children.”

Who decided 2 is the correct amount?

I've got five and I'm an academic. Definitely not bored or lonely but really enjoy children. Does it compromise my career severely? Heck yes. But I don't care because I value the kids more.

When pensions were started there was one retired person for every 2 workers. Now it's pretty much the other way round. Or so the argument goes. We need to keep producing workers to make the thing keep working.

As most everywhere except Africa has reached a tipping point in terms of population growth I wonder what will really happen.

The people I know with 3+ kids are shm and don't have careers. I often get the feeling they're trying to fill a void - they're bored/lonely etc and can't afford the children they have, but keep going anyway. People on here will shoot me down, but I don't know any women with 4 kids that's got a great job!
One person I know has 8 kids!! Though they can afford it as her husband earns enough.

People don’t need any children at all. Two is also not the magic “right” number for every family. Some people may want more and I don’t see an issue with that as long as they can provide for all their children. A lot of families wouldn’t be able to do this with more than two children, but that’s not true of everyone. I only have one child at the moment, but I would love to have 3-4 some day.

Because I enjoyed them and wanted them and could provide for them. No other reason.

I had 2, then accidentally got pregnant with twins, after that I didn’t the point in worrying about it, so I had number 5. Then they whipped out my uterus which is probably a good thing or I’d be living in a shoe.

No one needs more than two they choose to have more. Personally I have 2, but would have loved to have had more, sadly I couldn't afford it.

A lot of families are able to raise and afford the number of children they have.

A lot of people can't raise children at all.

It's not about numbers.

We did ask ourselves that. Luckily the answer was yes. We’ve 4 children, all at private school and we’re currently on a 3 week holiday, so I’d say our kids were doing ok.

Not everyone with more than 2 kids is living on the breadline.

A cap was never a thought in numbers of children in our family.