Not trying to be inflammatory but why do people *need* more than two kids?

I also have 5 kids and a nhs and academic career. I gave birth to most of them whilst I was studying for it. Not the way I’d recommend doing life, but it worked out fine for me.

I said up thread, but I had just 1 for 16 years and I didn't realise it was as he was a singleton at the time, but it was pure bliss!

I'm happy with just the one, everyone thinks I'm mad that I haven't had another... I wouldn't be able to afford another!

I need a large SUV as I have lots of kids and live rurally in a London borough.

I think that is far too simplistic. I work in IT and the majority of child free blokes I know have higher electricity bills than me as they spend their time outside of work rotting away playing computer games and eating masses of meat. The ones that aren't like that spend a lot of time travelling abroad. Many families choose not live like that.

Why do people need pets, holidays, relationships, new cars ( large SUVs especially ) to have their nails done, to go on holiday by plane. None of these things are a need. People want things, they make choices. Family size is a choice, people's choices in this area will be shaped by multiple variables and factors.
Perhaps what would be best is more acceptance and respect. Less judgement. That might work out best all round.

I didn't need a 3rd child, I just had an intense longing for one. Now I'm pregnant by accident with no 4

We are also net contributors, private school, private dentist, private GP.

Me either. And even with lots of kids, we are net contributors.

If you think the population should stay stable, I suppose it could be argued that some people need to have more than two because others will have less than two.

I certainly wouldn't have enjoyed having more than two. Two (admittedly they were close in age) just about did my head in.

They can have as many as they want as long as they pay for them and don't bang on about climate change

Something to do 🤷‍♀️

Yes I get what you mean. To raise children well, to have time and energy to shape their characters, is part of being able to 'afford' them. Lots of people seem to think it's just affording to feed and clothe them. No matter what your financial situation, a 3rd will stretch your resources. Often people don't plan ahead either, eg have savings and insurance, in case a parent is ill and can't work for months, or a nanny is needed. It's not unusual to go from affluent to poverty these days.

For parents who employ a full time nanny, I think that solves the issue as a good nanny will focus on personal care, appointments, character, manners, laundry, bedding, new clothes, nutrition etc. Because her job is soley about raising the children, she doesn't have to worry about the rest of the household like a SAHM does

Not everyone with more than 2 kids is living on the breadline

Of course. But many people are using Universal Credit, food banks, benefits to make ends meet. Lots of families can't afford to upsize so the kids end up sharing bedrooms.
Bringing more children into poverty and stretching resources just seems bizarre.

We stopped at 2 because of my health, I was worried another pregnancy would be hard on all of emotionally as well as physically. Also I struggle to understand how mums with 3 or more make time for each child individually? My 2 need a lot of attention, teaching, playing, organising their lives. I wouldn't have as much time or energy doing that for 3.

Like having kids, the number of kids you choose to have (if it's a choice) is just a purely selfish decision. Because they want to?

I do remember as a child, feeling slightly less happy with each sibling though 🫣 as things had to become stricter, routines firmer, chores needed done, and the house became a lot less 'go with the flow' after sibling no. 4. That was the choice of my parents though and it wasn't something I had a say in!

The benefit cap should stay as it is in my opinion and if anything, there can be direct help for children if necessary. Anyway, I have 3 children and I thank God I can afford them. I also have a good career. I did my masters and accounting professional exams after we had DC1 and got a graduate job after. Had DC2, the 6 year age gap meant I picked up my career after maternity leave as we could afford 1 in nursery comfortably and wrap around care. 4 years later, we had DC3, just because we want to. No one needs any child, we want them, God has blessed us in every way we can imagine so we can afford them , no one is missing anything, from extra curricular to holidays, they have their own rooms, etc we are happy.

Have loads of kids because people 80 years ago had loads of kids, great plan. Your kids will be old one day too, and will need support from future generations, which means we'll never get the population down to sustainable levels.

I only had one. I always wanted just one it was perfect for me. Maybe more than 2 is perfect for those families?

Ok 👍🏼

I can get a pretty good idea about you by reading your posts 😁

I highly doubt it. You know nothing about me. I’m completely secure in the role we play in society.

That's fine, but don't act like you're doing the world a favour My 4 kids are making up for the fact some people have chosen to have none. When you are old, my children will be tax payers, contributing to your care. because in all likelihood as a family of 6 you'll probably take more than you put in

Not sure what you mean. Who’s favour does it end up in if we don’t have the means to support the enormous number of oap’s in decades to come?

Lol as long as it balances out in your favour 😆

Meh, we take more than the average. Some take much less. It all balances out. The environment was never a consideration for me when I planned my family - I don’t feel in the slightest bit guilty about having 4.