To be a bit pissed off with my 18 year old?

I've always said to my three no food in the bedroom and they've pretty much stuck to it. But the glasses of water that accumulated 🙈

You went in her room and you tidied up?! Crikey I would never do that. My 18 year old is responsible for tidying her own room.

I would be cross too, you did a kind thing and they left a mess.

If your dd is still spending alternate weekends at her dad's she sounds like a great person who gives you little trouble. I think, a lot of us mums of older teens have had the rush out to the taxi leaving all in their trail. Mine were never in the bedroom but in the sitting room..boys!! Cut her some slack as it doesn't sound too often and it's nice to see her with her friends having fun. It doesn't mean she will grow up a slob or totally disrespectful to you. It's possibly even a once off.

Good grief - I'm amazed that anyone is getting uptight about such a small amount of mess being left by three teenagers. If that was all my daughter had left lying around when she was that age, I would have been quite relieved!

YABU. A group of girls on a legendary night out. "Hmmm. Let's ensure we vacuum the stairs before we go..."

Next time, just tell them, 'I've left some snacks and drinks out in the kitchen, if you don't mind just keeping them down there that'd be fab. Have a great night, girls!'

Your drinks and snacks weren't appreciated so don't provide them again. Simples.

Yes, if its left like that for weeks on end, but not in the space of 48 hours it won't!

It encourages pests (mice, rats, ants) in the house when there's bits of food around and the floor is sticky. Gross.

I would say you were a bit ott if it wasn't for the sticky floor. They spilt their drinks? Which should have been cleaned up immediately. Otherwise leave the mess for her if she didn't do it in the morning leave it for her when she gets back

You shouldn't be providing alcohol to her and her friends. They were tipsy and disrespectful.

I remember when I first went on holiday with my mates at 18 and my clothes being everywhere in a crumpled heap in the apartment. Even a year later having been at university for a year I decided I didn't want creased clothes and was a bit more organised.

Totally ageee

Absolutely.

NB: I always had a no food - other than the odd bag of crisps - in bedrooms policy.

This obvious solution

I think just don't provide drinks and snacks in her room OP tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️

Who the hell spends time tidying up once ready to go out?

I don't recall you mentioning them asking for room service, so if you hadn't taken drinks and snacks up there, there wouldn't be the fall-out for that up there.

You are being spectacularly uptight, yes. If they want to wobble in and then sleep in a room filled with crap... let them.

It's her room, not the whole house - if she and her friends had taken over the whole house and left it in a shit-pile, I'd think you had a point, but you're meddling (no need to go in there, lob the bedding in or leave it outside the door, they should have sorted it before they left) and finding things to grump about.

Unclench.

Totally not unreasonable. I have an 18 year old and she’s done this before, with her friends. They’re all lovely, but yes, they can be thoughtless. I made it clear that they need to leave the kitchen as they found it, <before> they leave on their night out.

Im not interested in promises to tidy it up the next day. I’m an early riser and I like to walk into a clean kitchen in the morning.

lol at attaching conditions to providing snacks. It’s common courtesy to tidy up after yourself at that age.

I’m happy to make up extra beds and provide drinks and snacks. I love seeing them all in the morning and making coffee and tea. I love remembering what a fun age 18 is. They are great girls. You were thoughtful to welcome them and provide pre-going out drinks and something to eat. Being thoughtful should go both ways.

YABU.
you voluntarily provided snacks etc then added conditions to it, which weren’t communicated and then got upset that no one met them.

you now want to ban sleepovers even tho it’s ’her House too’, except when she doesn’t clean immediately even tho she was going out?

changing goalposts here. I would leave until morning and remind her to do it before they leave. I wouldn’t clean before a night out.

She's a big girl, an adult who's old enough to go out on the piss with her mates, she doesn't need her mum bringing snacks or making up beds. Let her grow up a bit and just leave her to it next time. If the room is still filthy when they go to leave in the morning, by all means say something.

You are taking a total non-issue and blowing it out of proportion OP. Surely you remember being 18? What you are describing is a perfectly normal bedroom after having multiple teenage girls getting ready for a night out in it. Be realistic - it’s hardly going to be spotless or tidy in the slightest.

Your DD did not ask you to come in and clean it. Leave her room (and private space) alone.

Leave it. They could have brought out the dishes themselves tonight or tomorrow morning. Then just leave it like that. Her room her space.
They are youngsters enjoying themselves. They don't care if there's some crisps in their bed.