To be so indecisive about birth?

Oh bore off. If a woman chooses an ELCS it’s up to her. How much money does the NHS spend correcting serious birth injuries caused by “normal” vaginal births? A poor colleague of mine is about to have extensive surgery in her 50s and 8 weeks off work because the injuries caused a couple of decades ago in giving birth have got steadily worse to the point she can now hardly walk.

Also, the recent reviews of maternity care in Shrewsbury and Telford (and I think elsewhere) highlighted the “vaginal birth at all costs” mantra to have been a significant factor in maternal and infant deaths and injuries. All of which caused untold suffering and yes, probably millions of pounds in healthcare and other costs. I know someone whose baby was born in Telford during this period and who was denied a CS. Her son has severe disabilities; she and her husband have had to cut down their working hours significantly to care for him, and the whole thing will cost the state an amount I don’t want to think about in compensation and care for him throughout his life.

In short, you’re talking out of your arse.

I wish I had that level of organisation (and control !!)

Just to say not all inductions are lengthy mine started at 11am and I gave birth at 1am the next morning all went very smoothly and quickly in the end.

September is the busiest, people plan for their child to be oldest in the school year.

@Farmersweeklyreader normal birth is vaginal obviously.

@middleagedandinarage

that’s not true straightforward / challenging labour is mostly down to luck of physiology and babies positioning

I don't think it's just about educating yourself, I think it's about being in the best/fittest condition you can before and during pregnancy. The people I know who've had straight forward labours are those who have very active jobs/lifestyles and carried on to be very active throughout pregnancy. Not weight/bmi related I have noticed.

Hi OP- Definitely worth you looking into all of this as I think a lot of women are under informed.

A lot of it is preference: i.e. I personally think I'd rather have an elective c section than an induction via hormone drip. I had a positive, largely unmedicated first birth but passionately believe that women should be able to choose c sections if they want.

As for personal experience, recovery from my vaginal birth was really no big deal. The Freya post birth kit was handy. I've also known women having c sections to recover really quickly and well, too.

Good luck! Hope you enjoy the ride however you decide to proceed!

God OP, glad you are seeing through the ridiculous posts saying you’re already too late to prepare 🙄I was prepared as they come (read the Milli Hill book, did the hypnobirthing and the yoga, even did the “massage” and felt like asking for a refund from NCT, as I didn’t learn anything new) but my vaginal birth was still awful. I’ll spare you the details but it resulted in surgery, ongoing medical issues, a PTSD diagnosis and a year of therapy from the trauma. But yep, must have been due to my failure to prepare and not down to biology, bad luck and some overrun, tired medical staff making decisions that in hindsight they would change 🙄

I’m still glad I did the prep because 9 months is an awfully long time and it helped me to feel like I was doing something proactive, but ultimately birth will happen whichever way it happens, preparation or not! If you’re the kind of person who likes to have a lot of control then an ELCS might be the best choice for you. I’ve not had one, so I can’t compare experiences, but what I will say is I don’t feel like I gained anything from doing it the “natural” way.

Whichever option you choose, I really hope you have a positive experience. What I’d say with a few years of hindsight is birth is just the start and I wish I’d spent more time on researching what to do once they’re here rather than how they might arrive!

How old are you? I was 38 when I had my only, almost 5 years ago. Private ELCS (he was breech so to a certain extent the choice was made for me). Wouldn’t change a thing but I am a control freak and didn’t fancy the roulette uncertainty of vaginal birth. Or the cattle grid of atrocious post natal care.

I was fit and a healthy weight when I conceived, didn’t gain a great deal of weight while pregnant with him and I think that helped make my post-surgery recovery easier.

choices are available on the NHS: you just need to know how to access them. PM me if you want to talk about it.

Well, aren't we all very fortunate that the powers-that-be who decide these things don't agree with you 😊 I'm particularly delighted as I had an absolutely wonderful, entirely elective C-section with DS1, and am now planning my second. Bliss.

@MidnightPatrol I think you’re allowing your (negative?) feelings about your experience to misinterpret what it is that I’m saying. The OP is trying decide between a vaginal or c section birth. I’m saying that I would choose to have a c section over interventions such as for forceps if it was safe for me and my baby to do so.

What is a “normal” birth though, and how can you be sure you will have one when the time comes?

My c section last year was classed as elective but to me it was an absolute necessity.

Excuse you! What are you defining as necessity then? Should it be run by you so that you can approve? All that matters is the choice of the woman giving birth for whatever reasons they have. Who are you to state that?! Keep your rubbish to yourself.

Of course it should be possible.

Women should absolutely have choices, especially involving their own bodies. Be it a home birth or an elective c-section.

I went into labour naturally at 41+1. I couldn’t handle the pain so my home water birth went out the window. All set up but I couldn’t drag myself in there. Went to hospital, had gas and air and vomited everywhere. The pain was so utterly intense I begged for an epidural.
I had a very complex birth plan written up (oh sweet summer child). I had stated that I didn’t want to be put on a drip, I didn’t want invasive interventions, I wished to remain as covered as I could be (personal reasons).
Well, about half an hour after the epidural they said my contractions weren't coming quick enough so they were putting me on the drip. I said no. They did it anyway. As I had previously researched, they lost baby's heartbeat on the monitor around my stomach. I told them to stop the drip. They said no, they are putting a clip on her head inside me. I said no. They did it anyway. And to boot, a midwife randomly unclipped my bra suddenly reaching behind my back, without asking and left the room, which made me immediately incredibly uncomfortable. I couldn’t move enough to clip it back together.
My entire labour from first pain to finish point was 26 hours. My maternity notes stated 14 hours. There was no need for them to have intervened like they did, completely unnecessary. Especially considering that this was my first child. That is a very quick labour time.
This was 12 years ago.

It shouldn’t even be possible to choose a c section without necessity. A normal birth is always the starting point and a c section is a last resort.

I have a friend who does a lot of work with women with birth trauma. She consequently elected to have two ELCS. She has nothing but good things to say about her experience.

I had a very long labour then forceps. Beforehand I really really didn't want forceps but actually it was both necessary and fine.

I wouldn't want to be induced after my friend was induced then kept at 5cm for three days due to more urgent cases coming in and lack of midwives! And that was in a good hospital.

First time i had ventouse delivery, off my face on pethidine. It was fine, don't remember much and was out of hospital in 24 hours. I gave birth twice after in a lovely mw led unit. Very calm, relaxed. First time on all 4s and second time squatting I lived about, I tried pool. Hyponbirthing music. Stayed overnight in room gave birth in.

I had a very long chat with mw in the mw led unit around second birth and they were amazing. Talked me through stages, how staying positive and mentally in control during a straight forward vaginal delivery and not giving into the natural panic can help.

Although c sections are relatively safe ans winderful when needed they still come with more risks for the mum than vaginal delivery as its surgery- infections, blood loss, clots, anesthesia complications. Risk of injury to baby and increased risk resp distress.

Hi OP. I had an ELCS and it was everything I hoped it would be and more. Calm, straightforward, quick, and the recovery was fairly easy. I've got one planned for my second too.

There's lots of threads on here with different experiences re ELCS. When I was deciding on how to deliver my DS, I went through so many of these threads, and found that the vast majority of women also had positive experiences with ELCS.

Please be aware that some posters will miss that you're asking about ELCS and speak of their emergency cesarean experiences. ELCS and EMCS are completely different and their respective recovery periods are not comparable.

Here's a good and thorough thread to look at if you're concerned about recovery following ELCS

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/4787211-how-soon-could-you-do-the-following-after-elective-c-section

Whichever form of delivery you choose, I wish you all the best xx

As a previous poster said, it is a big decision, and one I understand as I had the same dilemma a few years ago, with exactly the same questions going through my mind.

I went to nct classes and did a hypnobirthing course, and I felt the majority of my friends & family who I discussed my feelings with were very much in favour of ‘natural/ vaginal’ birth. As others have said, if a ‘natural’ and safe birth could have been guaranteed I absolutely would have chosen that, but the fact remains that there really is an element of luck as to how it is going to go. I agree there are things which can be done to influence the birthing process but to suggest that a person has control over it (and I did hear opinions like that) is irresponsible.

I ultimately opted for the elective C section, I felt supported by some of my family/ friends/ professionals but not by everyone. I had not had a straightforward pregnancy and I felt so exhausted by the emotional strain of that that I just couldn’t cope with the unknowns of ‘natural’ birth. I felt it was difficult to tell people ‘I chose a c section’ because I do feel there is a stigma attached, but the notion that people opt for it for ‘superficial’ reasons (if there’s any such thing) is just not true. I wish I hadn’t taken on other peoples opinions so much- I really didn’t need to. I thought very long and very hard about it as you are doing, so that you can make the decision that is best for you and your baby.

You are doing the right thing to consider every option from hypnobirthing to elcs, and as you weigh up how comfortable you are with the unknowns of birth/ how much anxiety you have about those vs the drawbacks of c sections you will work out which option sits best with you. In my experience the recovery was fine. After she was born I did now & then wonder about how the birth of my daughter might have been, but I don’t really anymore. I am extremely grateful that she arrived safely. If I were to have another I would most likely make the same choice again.

Good luck OP, you will work it out and make the decision that is right for both of you.

It's your choice. If you don't want to have forceps then just say no. Just in the same way as these days so many women choose to opt for c-section. Women's "right to choose" now trumps everything it would seem.

I feel as well that some of the talk around education and choice can make mums feel like it's their fault if they didn't get the birth they hoped for.