To not like anyone coming into my home?

I'm a bit like this. I have a young child and sometimes have play dates in our home as I feel more comfortable at home as I also most likely have OCD and will avoid eating or going to the loo in someone else's home or out at a soft play HOWEVER increasingly I'm finding I don't like having people over. I can handle people in the living area (shoes off) but don't like people in our kitchen or using our bathroom. We don't have a downstairs loo and I really want one so if anyone comes they don't have to go upstairs and use our loo. I have to clean after anyone has been. I can't stand anyone in my kitchen making their own cup of tea, going in our fridge etc, which DH family sometimes do.

You're amazing OP! Well done on taking such huge strides forward. It must feel so much more relaxing for you x

@PontiacBanditt
I really understand how you feel, since Covid my OCDs have got worse again if I go out, once I'm home have a shower and wash my hair and my clothes straight away, if I had a workman in for example I would bleach the toilet ect afterwards and I have a couple of mugs that are only used for tradespeople as I can't let them use mine.
Also when I am out I cover my hand to open doors or press the button to cross the road.
I look at people in the street and think how can you touch that.
I know a lot of people see it as a problem but I don't, I just look at it that I'm super clean and don't like other people's germs.

Well done for getting yourself help @PontiacBanditt , I am glad you are in a much better place now.

I’m so glad you got help and you’re better. Postpartum anxiety is awful a
nd no joke xx well done on your amazing progress xxx

@endofthecorridoor i think you’re nicer than me because the invitations to mine would dry up if I wasn’t considered worthy to go to theirs.

I understand how you feel. I don't like people being here but I love to see people so I have just learned to bite the bullet and cope. My SIL and family have dirty habits so I go round with my wipes when they've gone.
Worst is if someone comes to mend something, etc. We were getting a new kitchen and the surveyor had a poo in my downstairs toilet. I was horrified, DH thought my reaction was funny (I suppose it was).
Anyway, just wanted you to know you're not alone. I have 2 friends who feel the same and the funny thing is I am fine with them coming round as I know they're as fussy as me.
I have no idea what the answer is, therapy must help, but I've learned to live with it. I can't stand hearing people eat either so I suppose it's all part of the same thing. I should live in a box.

My Friends DH is like you OP
They are very honest about it and they do like being invited to our house as we have lots of social things and dinners
They will insist on taking us out for lunch and paying from time to time to balance it out and it works fine
However I would think twice about the affect on your kids. Mine loved us having their friends parents round for dinner so all the kids could hang out and have very fond memories of sleepovers parties etc

You need to read the post you quoted again. That poster didn't call you seriously weird.

Great update @PontiacBanditt
Unfortunately, there will always be posters who CBA to read your updates.

Glad things are looking up for you.

But there are germs everywhere. It's the exposure to them, and the resulting build up of resistance to them, that keeps us alive.

What do you do when you need a wee in a public toilet?

You need more medication and therapy as the last one hasn't worked. This isn't normal or healthy. Children should be allowed friends over when older and of course your close family should be welcome to come over and visit.

You've come a long way since July, OP. I'm very glad for you and your family that you feel happier and more relaxed. I can be pretty reclusive - it comes and goes in phases - and I know that's linked in a complicated way to past covid/lockdown/shielding, and I'm working on it.

We're all works in progress. And again, well done

This is not normal yes you need help

If you don't invite people to yours, you won't be invited to theirs.

MIL is 88 and has lived in her house since 1959. Except for her DC's friends when they were small, she has never invited anyone to her home. She has never invited anyone in. Not even for a coffee.

She doesn't get out any more. Her only visitor is DH once or twice a month and the daily carer. She is very lonely and is reaping what she's sown.

You have to give to receive @PontiacBanditt and you also have to ensure yiur DC live sociable and normal lives.

Please get help.

Omg this is seriously weird and to be honest you're totally out of order. Apart from the fact that you're imposing this weird attitude onto your kids, you're also creating future problems for yourself as there is every chance that they won't want you in their homes when they're older.

@EmoCourt
has nailed it!💯

Is it just some people you dont like coming round or is it everyone? What does your DH think? I'd feel pretty trapped if DH said I couldn't ever have guests round.

You don't have to be a big home entertainer or dinner party type, plenty of people mainly meet people outside the home and it's fine.

You do need to get to grips with these issues to the point that you can have people round for a coffee and small things like that. It's just part of being part of a functioning society and not giving your kids a weird, restrictive childhood.