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Original poster

Is my bf a tightwad?

55 replies

Blueysotheemother · 26/07/2024 19:35

Long story but I’ll try to cut it short. I was in a long marriage, 25 years. Amicably separated about 3ish years ago.
Ive been seeing my current ‘person’ a year in a couple of weeks. He still insists on paying half for things and has never treated me out for a meal. On his birthday I paid for theatre and a hotel. On mine I had to remind him to pay his half for the hotel, which he did. But Ainu for wanting a little more? Maybe a surprise? Some romance maybe?

OP posts:
Woventogether · 26/07/2024 19:43

I think it's different having a relationship after divorce, pooling of money doesn't happen in the same way as it does in marriage. I wouldn't expect to be paid for etc and like my independence. However your bf does sound a complete tight tightwad! If you treated him on his birthday he should have done the same. I would confront him about it and tell him it makes you feel like mates rather than romantically involved.

SauviGone · 26/07/2024 19:43

Get rid. It'll only get worse.

Quick to make you pay your half, not so quick to hand his half over. Grim.

Mary46 · 26/07/2024 19:41

Yes tight. Think some people are just that way. Its not nice though.

Saintmariesleuth · 26/07/2024 19:39

Unfortunately, you don't sound compatible. I would stop treating him now. You've been together for almost a year - if he was the surprising, treating type then you would have seen this behaviour by now.

Have you talked to him about this- if so, what did he say?

annoyedatlandlord · 26/07/2024 19:39

Yes he is. It will only get worse unfortunately. It’s not only about money - it’s that he doesn’t have a generous spirit. I’m sure that has started to show itself in other areas of the relationship.

Others may suggest you speak to him about it, but I think this sort of thing is ingrained and even if he hears you and works on it temporarily, he’ll always go back to type and you’ll always be monitoring it and upset about it.

Sorry but I would suggest ending it while you’re only in this deep.